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A Query From Us Singhnees


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Thanx for the recent replies....

Jaspaul pajee (..dont think im singling you out..its just you require a reply with your reply. nutin personal at all pajee..we all learning)...the word forced is strong and youve said it quite a lot. My parents are so liberal they would not ever..even in a dream force any type of ristha on me......

that is diverting from the subject...

Because I have never been forced and have accepted each ristha on the plain fact that the guy or the next guy is a gursikh...what more need be asked. If everyone looked at things that way..there'd be fewer probs.

When they have not accepted..Ive questioned myself...why?? To one singh my photo was given and he realised I wasnt amritdhari before..so after exchanging emails..he goes can I see one your past photos...I said okayyy...(thinking how wud that be of any help)....

He messages back two days later....Sorry it aint guna work...and btw what made you become a singhnee you were so nice before???( :wub: )..vahe-guru

You know that comment made me throw his photo into the rubbish bin within 1 second and told my parents to find a real singh please...because things just aint right with the world anymore.

When girls take amrit they should be also given the options of a course in surviving the nasty, mean, harsh world out there which is hard on only kaurs/singhnees and not on singhs, no matter how much they may complain that They are hard done by, I dont believe so.

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Guru ji I have complete faith in ...No Doubt penji. I have raised this topic to make singhs aware that wht they are doing is making kaurs like me feel as if when we entered sikhi we have done good but also have 'shot oursleves in the foot'. Balwinder penji we all want to have a family and all want to have kids that ive dreamed of since being a small kid myself... not seeing that come true is very sad and very hurtful, ..i will accept it to be my kismet if things come to that (:wub: )

The going today of amritdharis....we respect you sister/singhnee/kaur ji...but hell no if you think I am going to marry you.

Now what does that do to our younger kaurs, lower confidence?, to us feeling>isolated, plus add this on for me......

.....becoming all too serious all too quickly...when it comes to any singhs comments..because they have represented themselves as double standard holding, untrue gursikhs. Fair enuf not all are the same...so far ive found this to be the case and its still ongoing...all aorund the world..according to one pajee who commented recently.

Why do singhs feel the girl has to accpet his dhari and moustahce....and he cant accept a few hairs (kes!)and maybe a undone eyebrow why and then have the audacity to say....Wow wow..bhainjee you can not get rid of those hairs..it is a kurehit!!??.....

its like help? what is up with that!!!

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We always say at Gurudwara Sahibs Nagar Kirtans guys just go to chk girls....well chk this>

Singhs..as well as Gursikh singhs chk any girl...religious or not religious. And when I have walked past them or been near by one of them singing along or just chatting with one of my brothers/family etc...Ive blantly heard them say these things...

...haha..looks like a boy,

...whats that?....

id never marry a singhnee.....

...where all the nice singhnees at bro....?....

...hun...rab really was cruel...hahhaha..(why do they, these gursikhs then have a go at hindus and others about talkin trash with our girls as they put it..when they do worse and make their sisters feel like trash)

these comments are were shrugged off by me..and I ignore them and try not to hear em..but it is so directed a person cant help but realise who it is being inteneded for.

This year I am going to make sure that I stick more closely with my brothers and family because of this unwanted comments and attention from "sons" of Guru Gobind Singh ji (!!why call them that at all?) so that I dont lose complete hope and further confidence in my sikhi life as a daugther of Guru Gobind Singh ji....vaheguru.

*If anyone has anything further to add by all means do, it wil be further helpful but personally I dont knwo how much more clearly I can share my feelings and before I say anything that i'll regret and hurt someone..id like to end my comments here. Lol i'l be around, just wont comment as much, i dont trust my self now not to become > increasingly frustrated and look abit like this :wub: .

rab bhalla karan mera and sab dha. vjkkvjkf.

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sorry also just want to mention that allllll singhs are not bad, I have the greatest bro in the world, who shares similar feelings on the matter about how singhs act and treat their sisters and when looking for a partner...but in my reckoning about 98.8% are just that.....complete reversals to sikhi teachings.

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Most people of this world are still attached to Maya. They think they are Sikhs but then don't go along with Sikhi.

My dad told me about this Amritdharee who couldn't find another Amritdharee to marry. Why? Because she's white!!!

So much emphasis is put on physical appearance that all forget everything else. Very hard to find a true Gursikh in this day and age.

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bhenji ..

i totally hear u .. and wat ur going through ..

like i said .. if ur just trying to understand how guys thought works .. well like you said not ALL guys are like this .. u just gotta find mr.right .. sadly majority of the guys do look at appearance before inside .. girls do the same .. hehe .. i use to get shot down in high school (when i wasnt amritdhari) for having unwanted hair (unibrow). Hehe .. i use to ask out a girl .. and turned down rite then ..

even now .. hehe no i dont ask out singhnis .. but i get these bad vibes from sangat .. both from guys and girls .. and similar comments as urself (lets not go into them:))

but bottom line is bhenji .. there is that right singh out there .. and if guru ji has alrdy found him for you that you will find him .. just have faith .. i dunno who im gona be stuck wit hehe .. but i have full faith in guru sahib ! :wub:

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guru ji kee fateh to all

i would like to thank bhenji for posting this topic as i think the mpore these type of situations are talked of openly the better....we need to create awareness of situations like these especially amonst the opposite sex...

concentrating on the problems that bibiyan face....this is not only an issue for bibiyan amritdhari now but also bibiyan who may wish to come towards amrit in the generations to come....as a bibi i am always told how there are so few bibyan coming towards amrit and there are so many singhs, im always told how as a bibi it is my duty to encourage more bibiyan towards amrit....however what alot of people do not realise is that girls have no issues with other girls accepting them...there issue is that guys dont accept them....and this is an issue because though we see everyone as our brothers...we will have to get married one day...and if our brothers rip us for things such as facial hair etc...or not even rip us but simply have prefrences...then what chance do we have finding a partner.

personally im not as stressed over these issues as of yet as i am not looking to get married anytime soon....however one thing that has helpt me recently with my confidence is that the singhs that i now not only dont judge on appearence but they openly talk to me about these issues and tell me how they wish they could help....well guys if you do wanna see bibiyan stop commiting kureht becasue of these issues than you need to show the female race that you accept them as gursikhs...because it is your NON-acceptance that they are scared of....it may be an insecurity but you can help fix this insecurity...alot of guys would ask why do we have to say it we beleve it isnt that enough...the thing is bibiyan cant read your mind....for someone thats paranoid that no-one will marry her because of her facial hair....those few words would mean the world....

i realise we shouldnt be insecure or paranoid and im not saying every bibi is....but i can see how this can affect you...and id hate to see bibyan commit kurehat because of such issues...

i would like to say to all guys and girls think carefully what reasons u turn down resteh for...as that reason could have drastic effects on the opposite person and his or her rehat...be sensible...remember looks dont last forever...

i apoligise for sounded one sided on this issue...im sure guys have there issues too and if bibiyan can help at all then just say....however i could only give a girls persective here as i am a girl.

may maharaj help everyone especially myself become better gursikhs

i apologise if i have affended anyone or said anything wrong or out of order...

vaheguru

guruji kee fateh

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:cool: @ wooow..wat athort provokin issue...penji u r right... they shudn't b lukin @ appearance anyway, it shud b the inner beauty that counts,ur jyot, ur jeevan .....i can see y ur sooo frustrated!!!

man y r guys lyk this??/ okk u myt wna real fit wife, but wa if she turns out 2 b th bigges B!*@$ eva?! ...dont men (not all guys, sum of u r okkk!) want a nice chungi kuri wiv morals, n faith? a wife that wil help their husbands faith 2 gro stronger??

but hang on in there, ur kismet has already been written by Vaheguru Ji & wat is destined 2 happen WILL happen (im sure its a gud married life He's got planned 4 juuu!)

i mean if things aren't gettin any better, y don't u try the getin 2 no mr singh???u say ur parents r quite liberal & so hopefully they may not hav a problem wiv this...n atleast the guy will then hopefully judge u on ur personality huna, cuz u seem like a rllly nice girl, without takin luks in2 account- which don't matter anyway cuz sikhi teaches tha the body is EXTERNAL!!i dunno mayb it'll giv him a chance 2 go on sumfin other than ur luks & u may even b surprised 2 find that he's not a FAKE,MATERIALISTIC,MAYA LUVIN PUNK!!!

& i no ur concerned about goin down the hole bf gf route, but it duzn necessarily hav 2 go down tha path if u dun wanit 2...if the guys a gud RESPECTFUL SINGH he'l understand...thers nuffin 2 lose :@

don't giv up hope, always hav faith in Vaheguru, tek care & i hope evryfin works out 4 uuuuuuuuuu :wub: u will b in my prayers this evenin n all my other sisters hu share ur plight. let us no how u get on ye? x x x

ermmm pray.gif plz dun shout at me tongue.gif : i no ur angry LOl, sorry if i'v annoyed u even mor.sorry

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sorri i forgot to add

the bibi that has started this topic thankyou so much for starting it....im sure it has created much needed awareness...also im sorri that you have had to go through these issues....but as everyone keeps saying(i no easier said than done)never loose faith in maharaj....whatever he does is for the best....

also to everyone just my opinion...avoid using photoes as in resteh...go straight into meeting the person....photoes just encourages people to judge you on appearence and says nothing for the beautiful characters that you all are....

bhul cuk maaf

vaheguru ji

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