Lust?

[Guest _sumone_]

i am a bibi who has been suffering a constant emotional struggle for years. the problem is boys you know how guys are usually given the image of constantly thinking about girls and stuff well i think the same goes for many girls because i am one of them. i have never dated or done anything like that in my life but not a day has gone by without having someone on my mind. i used to think it was pathetic stuff like a simple "crush" and that i'll eventually get over it but as i grow older and get more into sikhi i feel filthy. when i attend ransbayees or simran programs and get really into the bani some guy will pop up into my mind and ill feel so guilty for thinking about them but i cant stop. i read in a previous post that it has to do with your past karma and because of your bad deeds you have these type of thoughts. i want out! i am sick and tired of this "infatuation" ive done ardaas for Guru Ji to help me overcome these thoughts i get wherever i go. its also a quarter of the reason i am hesitant to get amrit because i feel i am doing such a big paap by thinking this way and am afraid that one day it'll make me take a wrong step if i don't control my emotions. can anyone please help me find a way to just stop all of this? ive tried meditation .. the feelings just come back

i hope ive not offended anyone in any way..

Admin Note: We discussed this topic several times but we are allowing this topic as the "Search Option" is not working yet for the non-members.

[singh_comradz]

none of us are perfect nor can we get rid of our vices. the key is to control it.

while meditating loads of thoughts cross our minds, and most of them we're not even aware of..advice is keep treading on the path of gurmat despite your thoughts and Guru ji will do kirpa

[Guest Guest]

If you are serious about gaining Mukti and gathering Naam Kamai in this life you will recognise that Kaam destroys your Bhagti and will stop you getting anywhere with your Sikhi.

It is good that you have recognised you have a problem; many have this problem but do nothing to rectify it. You have said you have "tried" meditation or Simran but you forget the most basic component of Sikhi is Simran. We should be aiming to Jaap Naam 24/7 so this should become an important component of your lifestyle.

You should cut down your interaction with the opposite sex and avoid unneccesary chit chat which is often just subconscious flirting. You should keep a strict Amritvela routine as this is what purifies the mind at the start of the day, and you should keep the Rehat of Panj Kakkars (including Dastar) to remind yourself that you are going to be Guru Ji's Proud Princess, not a westernised girl with no Sharam who lusts over other people even in Sangat.

The overall message is have pride in yourself and hold your head high above these types of things. You will only combat it through Gurmat means (not chatting/flirting with the boys, keeping strict Rehat and doing Simran).

[msjskb]

Always remember death. Its getting closer.

Bhagat Kabir Ji:

Day by day, hour by hour, life runs its course, and the body withers away. Death, like a hunter, a butcher, is on the prowl; tell me, what can we do? || 1 || That day is rapidly approaching. Mother, father, siblings, children and spouse tell me, who belongs to whom? || 1 || Pause || As long as the light remains in the body, the beast does not understand himself. He acts in greed to maintain his life and status, and sees nothing with his eyes. || 2 || Says Kabeer, listen, O mortal: Renounce the doubts of your mind. Chant only the One Naam, the Name of the Lord, O mortal, and seek the Sanctuary of the One Lord. || 3 || 2 ||

Ang 692

[Heera Singh]

If you are serious about gaining Mukti and gathering Naam Kamai in this life you will recognise that Kaam destroys your Bhagti and will stop you getting anywhere with your Sikhi.

It is good that you have recognised you have a problem; many have this problem but do nothing to rectify it. You have said you have "tried" meditation or Simran but you forget the most basic component of Sikhi is Simran. We should be aiming to Jaap Naam 24/7 so this should become an important component of your lifestyle.

You should cut down your interaction with the opposite sex and avoid unneccesary chit chat which is often just subconscious flirting. You should keep a strict Amritvela routine as this is what purifies the mind at the start of the day, and you should keep the Rehat of Panj Kakkars (including Dastar) to remind yourself that you are going to be Guru Ji's Proud Princess, not a westernised girl with no Sharam who lusts over other people even in Sangat.

The overall message is have pride in yourself and hold your head high above these types of things. You will only combat it through Gurmat means (not chatting/flirting with the boys, keeping strict Rehat and doing Simran).

150820[/snapback]

very good reply.... especially bout Keeping STRICT Amrit vela... i used to have a VERY hard time dealing with kaam... mostly because my relationship with a female that i had for a long time, before i took amrit... keeping a strict amrit vela really helps you to start controlling ur vices... it helps keep ur mind at ease... and as the above post said, it helps purify the soul...

also.. as per the above reply... limit interactions with the opposite gender... that REALLY helped myself out a lot...

main thing... keep prem and sharda of Guru Jee... its nothing thats gonna happen overnite... it would be very good for u to keep positive sangat around urself.. and Simran is KEY... u'd be surprised HOW beneficial doin simran throught the day is (i.e... in the shower... sittin at home... walkin to school/work... in between classes... while eating... etc.... )

i'm sure there's plenty of bhenji's on this forum who would be able to help you in this ordeal... keeping sangat of gursikhs helps a great deal... i have experienced this myself first hand!..

Rab Rakha..

Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Jee Kee Fateh!

[randip singh]

i am a bibi who has been suffering a constant emotional struggle for years. the problem is boys :lol: you know how guys are usually given the image of constantly thinking about girls and stuff well i think the same goes for many girls because i am one of them. i have never dated or done anything like that in my life but not a day has gone by without having someone on my mind. i used to think it was pathetic stuff like a simple "crush" and that i'll eventually get over it but as i grow older and get more into sikhi i feel filthy. when i attend ransbayees or simran programs and get really into the bani some guy will pop up into my mind and ill feel so guilty for thinking about them but i cant stop. i read in a previous post that it has to do with your past karma and because of your bad deeds you have these type of thoughts. i want out! i am sick and tired of this "infatuation" ive done ardaas for Guru Ji to help me overcome these thoughts i get wherever i go. its also a quarter of the reason i am hesitant to get amrit because i feel i am doing such a big paap by thinking this way and am afraid that one day it'll make me take a wrong step if i don't control my emotions. can anyone please help me find a way to just stop all of this? ive tried meditation .. the feelings just come back

i hope ive not offended anyone in any way..

Admin Note: We discussed this topic several times but we are allowing this topic as the "Search Option" is not working yet for the non-members.

150751[/snapback]

Admin are correct we had a long discussion about this.

The conclusion agreed broadly was that Kaam = Lust = OBSESSION with sex.

i.e. people who are obsessed with getting meaningless sexual gratification.

Now sister, to have a thought in your mind about someone you may find attractive is nothing to be ashamed about. We all go through phases when we have crushes etc. The way God has made us is to be attracted to one another so we can procreate. Thats natural.

With some people however, it is beyond just the attraction and is a complete obsession. These people will do anything to get sexual gratification. They do not have Waheguru in their mind at all.

It sounds to me you are not obsessed with sex at all. It seems to me that the odd thought of someone you may find attractive coming into your mind is something you seem to be beating yourself up about. DON'T, as it is something perfectly natural. Especially during the teenage years when your whole system is all over the place with hormones and alike.

[japmans]

thing is randip singh ji, she's saying it's been happening for a while..which possibly suggests she's not just a teenager anymore... she thoguht with age it'd go away, but such an occurrence hasn't happened.

I think she's just saying it's a huge distraction for her... someone else brought the issue of kaam into it, not her... but it's related because this bhanji is worried that these random thoughts will LEAD to kaam one day, and that's what she's trying so hard to avoid..that's why the replies of kaam are warranted.

keep ardassing!

[Guest Guest]

no randip ur rong im afraid

mithia netr pekhat par tria roopaad

lust dnt have 2 b obsession, eg. if u watch dodgey films, id call tht kaam wether u have obsession or not

fancying some1 is kaam, u like em bcos of ur attraction to them.

dnt try and make sikhi more simple to allow u enjoy worldy pleasures

[MiZz SherneE]

wow..u sho r goin thru a struggle sis..i agree wif randip singh..as teens we all go thru da stage o 'crushin' etc. maself included..bu i continuously do ardaas to Guru Ji to help me ovacum dese temporary emotionz cuz dey gona sidetrack u i all aspects- marks nd most importantly Sikhi..dn be too hard on yoself nd dn lose yo faith eitha..be strong nd u gotz to hav de spirit dat "im beta den da" das wuh i do..always memba wuh msjskb said bout Bhagat Kabir Ji nd ull feel li u wastin yo precious time on wack shie..wrkd fo me :TH: nd PLZ dn wrk yoself up ba finkin o de future li dat if u strong on a day to day basis u won hav fear fo de future cuz uz no Guru Ji gona do kirpa nd always gona b ba yo side :lol:

bhul chuk maaf

PEACE

[Guest Guest]

Get Married.