Dastaar

[Guest Guest]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

i have recently started thinking about starting to wear a dastaar. my amritvela has been regular for about a year now, and hopefully with GuruJis blessing i will take amrit in the near future.

but i have a problem with my family

last week a whole load of thm came down for sum1’s akhand paath, and we got into a discussion about sikhi.

it turns out my relatives are against girls wearing the dastaar. a friend of mine started explaining to them why a dastaar is worn etc, and how its important not just for singhs but for kaurs. he was wearing his dumalla and everyone kept looking at it n saying ive never seen a girl wearing that style pagh etc.

then i just blurted out that i wanted to wear a dastaar, n everyone kinda flipped. They started blaming my friend for his influence on me etc started complaining how no ones gonna marry me n stuff, n its hard enough for girls anyway.

thats a load of bull as we all know, im not bothered about marriage.

I knw theyre gonna hate me but that doesn’t matter.

I don’t think I should have said that im gonaa start wearing a dastaar

I tried getting bhaji to explain but they don’t listen, n tried explaining myself. I don’t want my family to hate me, so how should I go about it?

I know this post is really messed up so sorry if its hard 2 understand.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

[Lion(LK)King]

It's very nice to hear you want to start wearing Dastar. Very inspiring!

At the same time as you need to think of pleasing yor Guru, to a certain extent you will have to listen to your family's sentiments. I can understand that it's extremely hard, yet not imagen how hard of a situation you must be in.

My advice -

Take it easy. Life isn't logical or rational. No matter how many things they tell you - don't let it discourage you. Keep that flow and flame inside . I suggest you begin by telling them that you want to start covering your kes, i.e. tying a little patka or "bandana" over your hair.... (a lot of Bibiya do that). When your around with your Sangat, ask your friends to tie dastar on you, so you can have a test - a feel of that power that comes with it . So whilst your around friends where it, then go back to Bandana when you're at home. After a few weeks start wearing a dastaar to Gurdwara (once a week or how often you go to Gurdwarey)... And then from then on..

I think the problem is that you surprised them completly, and the human being (all of us) being illogical, and using our primitive brain parts during suprises acted like a typical human being - chaos.

Thus my advice is, take it slowly slowly... Start covering your kes at home, then outside, then ask friends to tie dastar on you while you're with them, and then start going to Gurdware with Dastaar...

Let us know how it goes!

But be very careful. Whenever an argument is about to erupt (I know i shouldn't be the one sayign this, but -) DO NOT RESPOND. Let them flip and give u baseless arguments - that's human nature, by responding you'll make everything worse. Starting thinking of the Shabad that touched you the most <_<

Hope this helps.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest Guest]

do NOT wear a bandana. its really good you want to wear a dastaar, a bandana has no significance a dastaar is part of a khalsas uniform. you should wear one, you should follow gurmat, not the mat of ur parents, guru ji required us 2 wear a dastaar so we should obey that hukam. if u feel ur ready tie one, keep ur amrit vela up, read extra bania and with guru jis kirpa u may receive amrit and enter a new life.

if ur parents flip, oh well, dont argue with them bak or shout at them, be as nice as you can to them, but dont go against sikhi for them

[singhni84]

Bhain Jee, my experience with wearing a dastaar started off the same as yours with my mother disapproving, etc. Even some of my friends made fun of me. But I wanted to wear a dastaar very badly, so despite all the ridicule etc, I resolved to wear one no matter what. The first time I wore a dastaar, I went to a ransubhaaee and made a grand appearance so that I'd be less likely to back out later on. If you're determined to wear a dastaar and you're committed to remaining steadfast regardless of what people/your family say, then just do it! Your family may still argue with you and try to make you change your mind, but stay strong! Eventually they should come to realise that you've made this decision for yourself and that you're not going to back down. Who knows...you may even influence their thinking and some day they too will don Guru Sahib's crown.