Hunkaar Vs Sikhi

[Guest Guest]

How do u distinguish between hunkaar and sikhi? For example, i was recently in conflict with a member of my family where I said that as per sikhi, we should be trying to go to gurdwara as often as possible and they told me that as gursikhs, we have to perfect in everything (not just spiritually), so if i was not the best at studies or at work, then I wasnt a gursikh! When I tried to explain my point of view, I got told that I was displaying hunkaar and that because they were older than me, they were definately correct!!

I have had other conflicts with this person and because from my understanding of sikhi, their point of view doesn't seem to be in line with my understanding of bani, I get told that I am displaying hunkaar - and that until I am perfect, I should just listen to them because they have a better understanding of bani. They are very well versed in bani, but I feel that they are taking certain tuks out of context (and they say that it is me taking the tuks out of context!) I am willing to "agree to disagree", but they are adament that I am wrong, and because they are older than me, I have to listen to them and end up just doing what they say even tho i don't really agree

What is the best way to resolve situations like this?

[singh_sandhu]

I dont kno if this will help but try to ignore it, dont take the comments to heart and concentrate on Naam Simran more.

Try to make them aware that not everyone is perfect and adults can make great mistakes too, maybe u are younger but this does not me that youngers havent got knowledge even youngers can have more knowledge than their elders at time.

[Guest ITS MEEE !!!]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh !

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?showtopic=12569

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh !!!

[Guest Guest]

well telling the person they are wrong is not the way to do it, you should make clear that you have respect for his interpretation but in your view this is whatit means, dont mean you think he is wrong, and tell him that because you have also read bani he should reaspect your views as well.

have u made it clear to him that u r willing to agree to disagree?

I once got into a short convo abt sants and I was insisting that his view was fine but I had a right to mine but he would not let it go until I kept on standing my ground and arguing back and then the reply i got was ''anyways what else is happening''. sometimes ppl dont reealise it but they try to force their views on other ppl and wont let it go.

Im not saying ur that but maybe ur coming across as that.

As for bein the best in everyhting, u can certainly try ur best but for some ppl it is not important to be the best in their education or job but to concentrate on a few things and be excellent in those. I do not believe that the definition of g'sikh is ''be the best in everything''.

Being older so correct is hunkar lol a lot of ppl read bani and think they.

but I think maybe he/she thinks u have hankar because u r saying if this is not this then it is not that, in other words if u dont be good at this then u aint a gursikh, get me? ur putting ur view a bit harshly, ive had someone do that to me and I just wanted them to stop their convo which no offence sounded like they had a lot of hankar, and to be honest the more i knew this person the more his hankar came out and because we are sikh and go to the Gurdwara Sahib we sometimes think what we say is correct but we do ourselves have hankar. I lot of us have a lot of hankar and mate im talking abt ppl that do a lot of sewa as well.

maybe both of u have hankar lol? cant judge as i dont know u but im trying to point out possibilites.

sorry if it sounds offensive

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

khY kbIru pUrn jg soeI ] (330-19, gauVI Aqy soriT, Bgq kbIr jI)

kahai kabeer pooran jag so-ee.

Says Kabeer, he alone is perfect in this world,

jw ky ihrdY Avru n hoeI ]5]38] (330-19, gauVI Aqy soriT, Bgq kbIr jI)

jaa kay hirdai avar na ho-ee. ||5||38||

in whose heart there is none other than the Lord. ||5||38||

Perfection comes from having waaheguru in your heart. You should study hard and try your best in everything but in the end only waaheguru's Naam will be your support.