Alcohol On Side

[Guest Guest]

ITS RECENTLY BEEN BOUGHT 2 MY ATTENTION THAT MY MASSAR MIGHT BE CONSUMING ALCOHOL

HE IS AMRITDHARI

HE HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM IN THE PAST

HE WAS CAUGHT BUYING BEER CANS IN A SHOP BY MY OTHER COUSIN

ALSO EMPTY BEER CANS WERE FOUND UNDER HIS BED BY HIS SON

ALSO IT HAS BEEN NOTED THAT YOU CAN SMELL IT ON HIM

I DONT KNOW HOW I SHOULD CONFRONT HIM

IM AMRITDHARI AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD AND ANGRY THAT SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY CAN DO BEADBI LIKE THIS OF MY FATHER AND HIS PRECIOUS GIFT OF AMRIT

ALSO I DONT HAV EVIDENCE MYSELF IM JUST GOING BY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD

I DON'T CARE IF IT CAUSES AGGRO BETWEEN OUR FAMILIES BECAUSE DISRESPECT OF MY KHALSA FAMILY MEANS SO MUCH MORE

I KNOW MY MASSI'S FAMILY WILL FROWN UPON ME AND SAY "COME OFF OF YOUR HIGH HORSE" ETC AND ALL THE USUAL LIKE "SHE WAS BORN YESTERDAY AND IS NOW GIVING US ORDERS"

I WAS THINKING OF TELLING MY DAD AND ASKING HIM TO CONFRONT HIM?

[Guest _gupt_]

don't ''confront'' him, just ''talk'' to him, be polite for the first few days and see if u hear anything else after that and then u can 'confrotn' him lol.

but shouting wont be a good idea at the start because to make him see sense be nice to him, tell him he can get help from some place to stop drinking because what he is doing is so wrong and disresect to Guru Ji is not going to do him any good , ofcourse put it in better words than I have.

if he still doesnt stop then yeah maybe u need to point it out publicly. but defintiely say something, he cant just go on

[Kizza Kaur]

i know this may seem like a stupid question, but what is ur motive for exposing ur masser? why do u feel that it is ur job to expose his beadbi? i can understand that u may be feeling hurt, for urself and for the khalsa, cos i have been in a similar situation myself, but instead of exposing him, shudn u be encouraging him bak onto the right path? he will pay for what he has done wen his tym comes.

[Guest Guest]

NO YOU HAVE GOT ME WRONG

I NEVER SAID I WISH TO EXPOSE HIM!

WHAT I MEAN IS IF IT COMES TO THE POINT WHERE HE GETS ANGRY ETC AND STARTS PRETENDING NOTHING IS GOING ON AND BRINGS IT TO THE ATTENTION OF HIS FAMILY THAT THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING THENNNNN I WOULD NOT CARE IF THEY NEVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME AGAIN ETC

AS FOR THE CONFRONTATION I SHOULD HAVE PHRASED MYSELF BETTER

WHAT I MEAN IS IN WHAT MANNER DO I APPROACH HIM HOW DO I BRING THE SUBJECT UP

WHEN IS THE RIGHT MOMENT? THAT KINDA THING

THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER COMING FROM AN "ELDER" I.E. MY DAD

IN MY MASSAR'S EYES I AM JUST A KID WHO KNOWS NO BETTER

[SSM]

u cud pretend u know nothing abt the drinking business and talk generally abt amritdhari u know who u suspect is doing this and how it is pathetic cos......

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

[baljitk_grewal]

didi, if your family and your massar's family will gather together sometimes , then start this conversation there, like making a joke to your massar , say , oh someone saw you buying some drink (beer) someday, (smile when you say), act like you are not gonna teach him a lesson, but tell him you guys know what he is doing.

and if other members in your family doesn't know about this they will start the topic themselves, like OH REALLY? DID U ?? and when everyone is starting their lecture, you can start yours haha you can say i can't believe what is happening , like how much we respect our babaji and what people (dont say YOU) are doing (beadbi). and say if you think you are not suitable for being a amritdari then better give up and not to put paap on your family members also. and on the other hand say that i dont think there is anything which can stop you from not being an amritdari, you can be the great son of our guru which not everyone can be.

didi , i think you will get this chance to say all this, but u know dear, afterall we can really do nothing to stop anyone doing anything, u know what i mean? at least if u say all this, you have already tried to stop him and let him know he is wrong and that you guys know he is doing something wrong, if u dont mention this to him he might be thinking that there is no one know he is drinking. but if he dont stop then let him go ahead drink or give up sikhi, cause babaji will do all the rest. to keep him or to leave him. right? the most important is those who are pure stay pure forever. but dear i dont really understand how can people do this, really, if you can't keep amrit dont take it right? by the way i am not amritdari yet. (not qualified to be one yet) haha . i hope i did not offend anyone .

[Kizza Kaur]

NO YOU HAVE GOT ME WRONG

I NEVER SAID I WISH TO EXPOSE HIM!

WHAT I MEAN IS IF IT COMES TO THE POINT WHERE HE GETS ANGRY ETC AND STARTS PRETENDING NOTHING IS GOING ON AND BRINGS IT TO THE ATTENTION OF HIS FAMILY THAT THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING THENNNNN I WOULD NOT CARE IF THEY NEVER WANTED TO TALK TO ME AGAIN ETC

AS FOR THE CONFRONTATION I SHOULD HAVE PHRASED MYSELF BETTER

WHAT I MEAN IS IN WHAT MANNER DO I APPROACH HIM HOW DO I BRING THE SUBJECT UP

WHEN IS THE RIGHT MOMENT? THAT KINDA THING

THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER COMING FROM AN "ELDER" I.E. MY DAD

IN MY MASSAR'S EYES I AM JUST A KID WHO KNOWS NO BETTER

oh right!! ma bad!! well u say that ur amritdhari, so u can use that as an excuse to start chattin bout what bein amritdhari means to u. u can then go onto tings like drinking, smoking etc, and then u can ask him his veiws on the matter. if mayb u can get him talking about drinking and being amritdhari, but make it sound like he is 'teaching' u by giving his opinions, then ther is no need to bring in someone else to sort him out. if he talks about it to u, then u mite b able to understand why he drinks, and then u mite b able to find out how u can help him.

itz like itz beta to seem like u wana no his opinions on drinking, than to make him think that ur preaching to him. but stay calm, i understand that u mite wana get all angry wiv him (especially if he starts getting all hypocritical), but the key is to stay calm.

all the best.

[Heera Singh]

ITS RECENTLY BEEN BOUGHT 2 MY ATTENTION THAT MY MASSAR MIGHT BE CONSUMING ALCOHOL

HE IS AMRITDHARI

HE HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM IN THE PAST

HE WAS CAUGHT BUYING BEER CANS IN A SHOP BY MY OTHER COUSIN

ALSO EMPTY BEER CANS WERE FOUND UNDER HIS BED BY HIS SON

ALSO IT HAS BEEN NOTED THAT YOU CAN SMELL IT ON HIM

................

116608[/snapback]

well obviously if he's drinking, he's not amritdhari .... the second the first drop of alcohol touched his lips he broke his amrit... so u gotta tell him straight up...

"listen old man, u either gotta stop drinkin, or take ur kirpaan off .... 'cause ju are of the fake.. not to mention u gotta do pesh.."... :wub:

[proud_to_be_singhni]

good one :TH:

[Sikh_Kuri]

"listen old man, u either gotta stop drinkin, or take ur kirpaan off .... 'cause ju are of the fake.. not to mention u gotta do pesh.."... :wub:

116759[/snapback]

lolz brilliant way ov solving it ! :TH: lol