I Neet Some Advice Plz Sangat Ji

[Guest _gupt_]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh !!

im writin this on behalf on a reeli good mate of mine............

well, firstly, ma mate, she is gettin engaged very soon, thing is her parents are very traditonal and so its an arranged marriage wer she wnt get to speak to the guy, she is rely worried because she is reeeli into her sikhi and well this family dnt seem into it as much, she cnt say no she has to go along with the marriage.....also on top of the ma mate got this illnes were she gta take a pill everyday, now her parents dnt wna tell her inlaws.........she jus worried wts gna happend wen it evetually does come out about the illness.....

on a separate issue her cousin is suffering from cancer......and they have just found out that it nt very likely that her cousin will live.....she doesnt no how to deal with this she jus feels rely numb.......please sangat ji cud u offer some advice?

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh !! :doh:

[Pheena]

Her parents need to be given a reality pill. Their traditional ways are going to create more problems then they will care to acknowledge. I guess it si pointless for me to go on about what her parents should do. They are going to go on about the marriage regardles, but your mate needs to be (conservatively) open with her new-husband. If the guy is open minded, she needs to talk to him about what is important to her, ie: sikhi. A line of communication must be made between the 2. Compromises must be madeo n both sides. Tell her to continue talking to him, hopefully she will breakthru to him and he will realize that me must also give into what she is expecting from her husband. But that is very difficult to judge as 2 complete strangers are about to be tied into a marriage. I just hope for both of their sakes that they undesrtand the importance of compromise in an arrange marriage.

About the situation with your mate taking a pill. If this is something that she is going to be doing for the rest of her life, then its better not to cover this issue as it is most likely to cause bigger problems later on because it was deliberatly hidden by the parents. Knowing how Mother-In laws and if her is 'that' kind, i just hope your mate is strong. If not then, i guess it can wait until after marriage.

About her cousin, one must question whether it is I that is rowing the boat of this life. Am I the one who controlls what happens to other or is someone else? We tend to belive that those who are around us will always be around us and that is the biggest lie that we can live with. Who/What causes for such illness to fall upon those we have 'moh' of? We tend to forget that someone else is driving us. The things that happen to us or our relatives in this lifetime happen for a purpose that is beyond our ability to comprehend. Because we cannot understand it, we become sad, depressed, angry as the will of another is taking somethign away from us that we do not wish to let go. Will death not come to me? Am I going to be spared by death? It arrives upon everyone without prejudice. When and How it arrives is hidden from us for whatever reason and im sure it must be a good reason. As we grow spritiually his will is partially revealed to us and we begin to understand the laws that govern our lives along with the knowledge that we can transcend these laws. Tell your mate to read Gurbani, on whom really dies when death happens? Does the flesh and bones die or is it you the image of Akaal himself die?

[hardykaur]

Gosh this aint no arranged marriage it's forced!!!!

All people in my family have had an arranged marriage but they have before hand met the person an spoken once before agreeing whether they want to marry.

what your friends parents are doing is wrong . We are sikhs an forced is not right.

An she should herself anyway poss tell her future husband about the pills because if the inlaws find out they will not punish the parents but your friend.

An really if the family are not into sikhi as much as your freind your friend should not stop.

Really your friend needs to sit down with her parents and talk all this through with them now rather than later when it will be too late

[Sinner]

WJKK WJKF

Penji, marriage is such a sensitive issue; this can be solved through the family.

You have to tell your parents how you feel about this dude before you do get married. You have to put your foot down, because what if it doesn’t work out? This may well end in divorce - and that will smother your families’ reputation, and we all know how much our parents value status.

About your cousin, this is definitely a sensitive issue. Ill tell you how I coped when me gran past away, and maybe you'll find strength in there.

I think I was about 12 or so, and I walked into the hospital, and walked into her room that she was in, and I saw all my cousins there as well. I didn’t realize why everyone was so sad, I mean, I was thinking "wow all my cousins are here, it’s gonna be fun!"

Until I actually saw her, I felt the real blow. I started to cry, but me mom held me back.

When we came home, me mom told me that “you shouldn’t cry, if you cry you’re stopping her from crossing the bridge towards Sachkhand, the more you cry, the more she'll be held back". "So, stop crying, and do paath, do alot of simran, and help her to cross that bridge". After she said that, she said, "Don’t hold her back".

So, my advice is, talk to your parents, don’t leave it, pick up the courage, be the princess you are.

About your sister, don’t hold her back.

You can talk to me about this if u want, just PM me first, it'll make ADMIN happy lol.

God bless u, I hope you find your strength :TH:

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