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Found 10 results

  1. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Often times I hear people say "SGGSJ doesnt say (insert topic) so it must be ok", and in the case of pre-marital sexual relations a dear friend of mine has made the same argument. My friend (non khalsa) argues that Bani specifically condemns rape, adultery, and polygamy, however isnt against sex outside of marriage, provided that both are not married to anyone, and have given consent. My friend likes to disregard anything outside SGGSJ. He brings up tuks from Gurbani that specifically mention "others wives" to support the argument that its specifically about adultery, however I would argue, the English translation is very shallow, and in the context of Bani, "others wives" is also talking about anyone who isnt your wife, and isnt limited to adultery, but also anyone who isnt married. Example 1: Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 274 ਪਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਅ ਰੂਪੁ ਨ ਪੇਖੈ ਨੇਤ੍ਰ ॥ Par Thria Roop N Paekhai Naethr || ਪਰ means other ਤ੍ਰਿਅ means wife Example 2: Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1013 ਇਸਤ੍ਰੀ ਤਜਿ ਕਰਿ ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਚਿਤੁ ਲਾਇਆ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ॥ Abandoning his own wife, he is engrossed in sexual desire; his thoughts are on the wives of others. Context: Its not just talking just about adultery, the English translations are limiting, generally the concept is to not covet another wife, in the context of Bani, doesn't mean you can have sexual relations with women who are not married. Our rehat and history make it clear that one cannot have any sexual relations outside of marriage. There is a specific reason the Guru had 10 forms over 200 years, it was to show Sikhs how to live and practically apply Bani, otherwise the SGGSJ would have been all compiled by Guru Nanak and there would be no long history of the Guru in his many forms. The SGGSJ isnt a rule book, and isnt going to specifically ban everything that we know is immoral. Where in SGGS Ji does it say that Sri Guru Har Rai Sahib Ji was the 7th Guru Sahib after Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji? Why would a primary Sikh text not name him? In terms of Gurbani, when taken into context, and even compared to rehat and our history, its clear that sexual relations outside of marriage are discouraged. Do you agree with my argument? These are just a few tuks I decided to bring up, if anyone has any more, please feel free to share!
  2. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Lets suppose that I am a "transgender Sikh" who was originally biologically male but now identify as a female. Lets assume that I receive "Khand Di Phaul", which is the official initiation into the Khalsa Panth. Would I then call myself a Singh or a Kaur? What does Gurbani or Rehat have to say on this?
  3. Husband Wife relation

    WJKK WJKF Dear sadh sangat jeo. my husband and i have been married for 4 years and have 3 beautiful children. we are both gursikhs and absorb into gurbani simran sewa as much as we can. i personally dont always get to do my nitnem as our children are so young but i try to repeat as much bani during the day as possible. anyway i wanted to ask. my husband and i have a very active sex life EDITED.. we havent done a kuret have we? we are a very simple down to earth humble family and just dont want to go off the wrong path. we love each other very much and love sikhi very much. we just humbly ask the sadh sangat to direct us. if we have comitted a kuret we will most definately go pesh at the next opportunity. if it is not a kuret is it ok to enjoy such 2 actions as husband and wife? humbly with folded hands WJKK WJKF
  4. Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh I have done a horrible mistake and wish to take amrit. I have not had sex but me and another amritdhari individual engaged in mutual manual sex (hand jobs, fingering...). My punjabi is not too good and I am SO ridiculously ashamed. Please someone help me and explain to me how I would word this in Punjabi to the Panj Pyare - what do I have to say? How in the world do I say this?
  5. Hello all, wjkk wjkf I am 27 years old and male. I would like to discuss about a new phenomenon/orientation that not a lot of people are aware about.... but is completely natural. I want to talk about asexuality. Its an orientation where people do not have any sexual desires towards any gender. Some of them masturbate, others dont. Some are romantic but want to stay away from physical relationships. As a matter of fact I found a sikh girl on AVEN forums (Asexuality forums) as well. Ever since I was in my late teens, I stopped being sexually attracted to women in real world. I am interested in them, but the idea of marriage and/or sex intimidates me. Especially in India nowadays, feminism and women power is being abused tremendously. Marriage in itself honestly is a business transaction. Men get married coz they want either sex, or hopefully a servant, or a child, or because marriage is a symbol of maturity. Women want to get married coz log kya kahenge, to get 'freedom', children etc etc. Girls parents literally 'sell' her daughter to the highest salaried person. I have not found one woman I can respect in a loving way. Moreover, almost all indians get married and have tons of kids. We are not dinosaurs who will become extinct. I hate my surroundings and how dirty it is. I dont want to bring my child into this depressed corrupt environment. I was on singhstreetstyle facebook page and made a few comments against 'marriage'. It doesnt mean that I hate married people. Are there any seekh or quotes that suggest that one should get married as a rule? I couldnt find one. I am a virgin and want to stay that way. I see almost every 11 year old having 'banda' and 'bandi' and kissing. I just cant imagine being in that state.
  6. i am a boy who has been blessed with amrit. bt last night i had a chnce going with an amritdhari girl to some place and we were forced to stay in a room. we are not married. bt we started touching each other and all went wrong. we didnt had intercourse bt oral. I am having a guilt of getting amrit khandan. plz hlp me out for this. wht should i do.
  7. first of all , this is NO joke thread or any topix like thread. This is a serious. Well I have to admit that I am a bad Sikh - I watched porn and was somehow addicted for more than 4 years now.. I know there is nothing to be proud of and I feel ashamed . But due to Maharaj I managed now to stay away from all these "lustful" things in this society. I hate this society - every where is sex - from little you are forced to see such things.. really . I guess if there werent such things - I would never fall into this "addiction" . Anyway.... Now I am clean for about 1Month - and trust me it was REALLY hard. I did everything to avoid lustful thoughts and things and seeing woman in wrong way ( its hard cause most of them even attract us guys with short pants etc.. but thats not the topic) Well now I must say I feel very strong and clean - I keep saying myself "Mann jithe jagg Jeet" and it works - but I start to notice "physical problems" , like my intestinal making trouble and my testicles are feel "heavy" , like they are full or smth - there is such a pressure and I have cramps.. I dont know why! I didnt touched myself since 1 month , why all of this is happening now??!? I thought I have overcome that shitty Kaam... and I thought i can control it ( I know i cant kill it , because its a part of human being - but I want to control it) The Problem why I am posting this here as gupt is - that I dont want to go to a doctor. The reasons: 1. I feel ashamed of me 2. Maybe there is a woman dr. and it all will go worse - I dont want that - I still not feel that i conquer that. the battle goes on you know.. 3. I would NEVER tell my parents even if I die ( punjabi ... you know) I try to handle it myself .. have you guys ANY tips? I googled alot and searched the internet but there is nothing ABOUT abstinence only about SEX.. people are mad ... they say you have to "realease " the pressure etc- but I dont want to! This is a fight between me and my Paapi mann - I am trying to get the control over FULLY. So can you guys please help me? Or any dr.. here? Thank you..
  8. WJKK WJKF I am a Sikh guy from Delhi. I want to ask a question about Sikh girls, virginity and sex before marriage. But first, I want to tell you about what has driven me to come here and ask this question. I used to like a girl in the final year of my school. She used to like me too. We used to blush a lot while talking to each other and We used to talk to each other a lot. We told each other about our feelings and felt good about it. Later we went to different colleges. One day there was a cultural event in her college, I came to know of it from my friends in that college, and thought I should surprise her. I went there with my friends and saw her with some other guy, dancing, laughing and having her fun. I felt awkard and bad seeing that but I tried to ignore having seen what I had seen. When I asked my friends about that guy, they said he was her guy, and they had seen them making out quite a few times. I couldnt believe it. She used to say she liked me, loved me, wanted to be with me. I was heart broken. I spoke to her about it and she confessed to it. I stopped talking to her. That teenage love ended then and there. I was depressed for a very long period of time. After 1.5 years I came across a girl through a mutual friend. She was amritdhari, looked kinda cute and had approached me herself. I started to like her company. She was studying at a college in Gurgaon. After some time of our friendship we both felt attracted towards each other. But she had bad company, had ONLY guy friends, used to go with em to hookah bars, pubs and all other kinda wrong places. I myself am an amritdhari and i personally do not like going to any such places as I feel that Sikhs must not go to these kinda places. (Kutha, hukkah, charas, tambaku, ganja , topi, taadi, khaaku.. inki ore na kabahuu dekhai rehetvand so sikh bisekhai) ... also came to know about her alleged physical relationships with many of her friends. So, we broke up. And I was shaken up again. After another year of staying depressed and aloof, I came across one extremely amazing girl. She looked very decent and adorable and belonged to an amrirdhari family. Her mom ties dastar, her dad is a great man and knows a lot about gurbani and sends amazing vibes whenever you look at him. But she has had a past too and has been with 2 guys, both of them were hindus and "bihari" and i came to know from a friend who was there in her college that she has done "it" many a times with her guys and there were several pics of her floating around. Now, By the Guru's grace, I am a Six feet tall, somewhat buffy, fair, pochviin pagg tying, amritdhari Sikh guy and I get plenty of compliments and attention from the opposite sex. I have completed 5 years of my college life at two of the most happening colleges in delhi and have had plenty of chances myself to be 'up, close and personal' with the most adored girls in my colleges. But I have made sure to not to commit any of the four 'kurehits' all these years. I consider any kind of physical intimacy as something sacred which must occur between two people who are life partners and not a mere source of pleasure which can be done with anybody. Thus, I am still a virgin. Yes, 24, male and still a virgin. And yes, I will get married sooner or later. As anybody would, I too want a Sikh girl of good morals and a high character to be my life partner, Someone who knows Sikhi values to the core, hasnt fooled around with guys and of course has her virginity intact. But seeing the current state of Sikh girls (encountering those 3 in my life, seeing Sikh girls in my college and hearing about them from my friends), Seeing all this, I have developed a negative image for girls in my mind and i do not even feel comfortable talking to them. I dont think there are many left who still stay virgin till they get married. Sometimes when sad and depressed, I feel like I should get even and feel like falling for the advances of girls around me. But when I get back to my senses I feel bad for even thinking that ways and I do not want to defy my Guru. I want a decent girl to be my life partner, bit it now seems a rare possibility. I am utterly disappointed and worried. Please help me out. I would like people who are married or in relationships and especially bibiyaan, matawan, bhainaa to please understand my problem and help me come out of it. WJKK WJKF
  9. Sadi sangat ji. I hav been having almost daily hour long calls wit a friend suffering 2much. B4 you accuse and abuse . I wil explain. He is interested in her 4purposes of marriage. She too after many years of bad luci on relationss and sleeping around. He is madly in lov but cannot overcome this issue of sleeping around so much. . . So is she on him i think. Wo sikhi advice can i giv to the brother, shud he 4giv? Look elsewher? .thanks in the advancing
  10. Hi, i live in the uk and my parents want me to have an arranged marriage in india (i have no problem with this) but I dont really know much about punjabi girls, the girl is from a village in punjab and theres so many questions that Im not sure who can answer or who I should ask, such as what if we dont feel in love after we get married? how intimate can you be with each other? is it like relationships in the western world where you kiss each other all the time when youre alone, would they have sex for fun/get closer to each other or would they see it as simply for reproduction? I think id find it hard to ask those kinds of questions to my prospective wife before marriage. Neither of us are amritdharis. Any info on the way punjabi girls are brought up, and what marriage means to them in regards to being close to each other would be great.
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