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Found 5 results

  1. Wjkk wjkf Im having a really difficult time at the moment and has been like this for maybe 3/4 of a year. Maharaj kirpa, i was blessed with amrit just over a year ago and in the start it was an unexplainable experience, however slowly i feel like i began to fall in my sikhi. I would look at all people and think with innocence that god resides in each person, but now i just seem to judge everyone and think bad about them. Vikaars have gone really bad and causes me much depression, to the point where i feel like suicide would be better than this suffering. I am a true believer that maharaj works through his gursikhs, and whenever i seem to go to the gurdwara i always seem to get dirty stares and looks from kamaii wale gursikhs and i just know that im not welcome, which causes me even more depression and stops me from going to the gurughar. I try so hard, although i think about doing some of the old things i used to do before amrit (like smoking weed) i have been able to control myself enough to not commit any bujjer kurehit. For some reason i feel like i am being punished or i just dont feel the love from waheguru ji anymore, i try to boost my sharda by looking upto guru sahibaan but my mind even becomes to thing bad about our gurus 😖 my parents had a breakup not long ago and that seems to have made things worse recently as i just cannot focus on bani and simran, also because of the situation, i had to backup my mom and maybe maharaj isnt happy that we chose for my dad to leave. Im so confused sangat ji, dont know where to go, what to do. I do ardaas that maharaj blesses me with gurmat and gursikhi but im finding it difficult. The reason im writing this is because just today i spent most of the day reading bani, doing simran and it was really nice, and then the moment i sit down to do my university revision im just hit with depression from nowhere and this is an onwards cycle every single time, its so frustrating. Sorry this was so long, I do benti in ur charan sangat ji that you give me your support and help me get through this. Im honestly so stuck and confused i dont see the point of living life without the pyaar for maharaj. wjkk wjkf
  2. Help Please

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh :D This is not really gupt but I need help, I am starting University soon and really want to wear dastar. I am looking for Voile and Rubia material for my dastar. I am going india soon and hoping to buy it there but how do you say voile and rubia in punjabi? ??? I know, a really stupid question lol but please help! Need to know what they are called in punjabi ? I even tried google translater, but useless LOL Please don't close this topic Help :D GUPT SINGHNI :D
  3. Help If You Can....

    I have recently become amritdahri last yr, I have a very busy scheduled lifestyle... I work at many different places and look after my nephew too. although this may sound funny to many people but it is a problem for me, as In the mornings I have to spend roughly an 1hr/2hrs on nitnem I've lost the extra time I could spend in the bath, so in the mornings I just have a very quick 5 min bath and brush my teeth etc.... I also have to be at work very early so everything is very tightly scheduled... so getting to the point, I feel like the 'mael'/dirt of my body isn't coming off very well due to the short amount of time I have in the bath I don't have enough time to rub and scrub, even in the evenings I have to look after my nephew and then back off to work ... my face is ok but my arms especially feel like they look darker than before, i'm worried because I like my skin as it is.... can anyone help me out with what I can use to do so that I can feel fresh and clean and still stick to my timetable....
  4. wjkk wjkf PLEASE DONT DELETE POST MODS CANT FIND ANYTHING LIKE THIS so, i went pest like 2 months ago for 'kaam de galti in which i said i saw and did bad things' i.e. the m word. But i changed after that and was buzzing until recently. I had a lot of wet dreams in this time and then it nearly happened. Kaam overtook me, i looked and searched for pics of swimwea [CUT], [CUT] I kno it sounds stupid but I've been feeling a lot of guilt and i think that i don't need to go pesh because i did not commit a bujjer kehrat and i did not even do the m word when the kaam came over i feel that i beat it as i did feel aroused but then i thought that it is not worth it and started singing shabads, but i feel guilt for coming so close. Anyways, i hope a singh who has done sega in the panj can guide me and i thought that doing 101 japji sahibs with ardaas should be fine. Will maharaja forgive me for nearly coming so close and looking at bad things as i was plundered with kaam?? is 101 jap ji sahib path enough for forgiveness, maharaja blessed with a hukamnama of papa is destroyed by naam shortly after aswell. i kno some might laugh at this post but i just want sangats clarification and hopefully someone with panj singh seva background can help me, but i just want to keep going forward again and not backwards. thanks. pls forgive me wjkk wjkf
  5. I was a Singh for about 3/4 years and had been blessed enough to take amrit, it was hard but I managed for a year or so.. but suddenly everything changed, how I thought about things, the things I done. I was smoking, drinking, having sex. I thought I didn't believe anymore, i thought long and hard for 5/6 months and so Like a pappu I cut my kes. my Singh friends pushed me away but afew are still close but I can't even look at them without feeling bad. It's been 2/3 years since and iv always had this feeling deep down inside that I cannot explain. I look back and think what a TW@T, what have I done. I think about what I have done and cry. I left everything that was good and now I'm here.. I haven't felt the same since. I can't keep hiding my emotions anymore I need help and adivce. I was a son of a guru ji and now I'm nothing. I feel like i want to become a singh again but i just cant do it without knowing if im 100% i dont know what i would do if i done something like this again, I don't even know what to say anymore. Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense, it's been hard for me to explain. Thnx Vaheguru ji ki Khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh
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