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Sangat ji, Generally, for the last 2 years I have been dealing with my depression. There have been ups and downs, but I have completely lost any faith I ever had. I was blessed with Amrit 3 years ago, but when my depression started to really get me down, my Paath gradually decreased, and now I can't remember the last time I sat down to read and paath, or to recite simran or listen to kirtan. I have many distractions of which I can't escape from, and I do feel like of all times, now is that hardest for me to try to get back up. But this needs to happen now, I am now at a point where I am so numb when I am talking about all of this - I don't feel like I want to get back into Sikhi, but of course, I know I should, I know it's the only thing that can help. I really don't want to offend anyone, so if you do feel offended, I apologise, but please realise you can't understand everyone's situations and lives. Before anyone says call so and so, talk to so and so; I have talked to a therapist, and although it is helpful in certain aspects, it doesn't help me get closer to feeling less numb, or get closer to Sikhi. I have surpassed that stage of suicidal thoughts and whatnot so please don't tell me to call sikh helpline, etc. Everything is nothing now, I feel so weak physically and mentally. Please don't say anything about family or friends because I have no one to depend on, and this is an extremely personal journey. I don't think I have much time left before I really distance myself from Sikhi. Please advise me on what to do? I am so sorry for such a bad attitude towards such a precious life, please forgive my mistakes, and don't take what I have said to heart.