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  1. I’ve been amritdhari since I was 16 ,now 23. Wherever I go ,people seem to pull my leg and get in my way of learning sikhi, no matter how hard I try to block them out. I Know my 5 bania off by heart but haven’t got good santhyia. I use too have a good santhiya teacher from Taksal and was having private lessons from him GUPT. A group of Singhs found out I was learning from him and done everything in their power to stop these sessions. After that I’ve never seen my Ustad , they took him away. All I wanted is to pronounce bani correctly. Ive never hurt anyway, never will. I DON’T KNOW WHY OTHER SINGHS HURT ME , ARE BROTHERS MENT TO DO THIS. Ive got very bad dyslexia, takes me a long time to learn things. I HATE BEING DYSLEXIC IVE BEGGED WAHEGUROOO TO REMOVE THIS DYSLEXIA EVERYDAY, IT HASN’T GONE My relatives always say sooo much hurtful things to me, like im never going to get a wife , no1 going to marry me because of my dyslexia. Ive failed my GSCES, A LEVELS, CANT GET A JOB Im surrounded by so much hurtful,negative people. NO1 GIVES ME LOVE I done 40 day sukhmani sahib, hoping everything to get better.IT DIDN’T Im know at the point of life where i don’t care about myself no more,I JUST WANT TO DIE I do ardas everyday to Waheguroo to kill me and kill my soul, im abomination. IT HASN’T HAPPENED On the verge of killing myself , I cant escape these people(PEOPLE WHO MENT TO BE MY BROTHERS & SISTERS), IVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT THEM, WHY THEY HURTING MY LIKE IM THEIR ENEMEY A Sikh wouldn’t kill them self like this, THAT’S WHY IM LEAVING PLEASE FORGIVE ME GURU GOBIND SINGH MAHAARAJ, IVE FAILED U WAHEGUROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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