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Found 7 results

  1. From my posts here you probably know I struggled (and still do) with my orientation which puts me at odds with social orders and prevents me from living a normal life (marriage, kids,..) , something I always wanted to do. However, I also feel apprehensive of where I am now and the path I pick from here on, because whichever path I chose will land me at that destination. Not only I feel fearful but regretful as well. I am right now 27 and it will be another 11 months before I turn 28. My parents every other day keep insisting I get married . I told them I am gay 2 yrs back , I never felt any love for any woman, I am blind to what love to a woman even feels like because I have never felt it . How on earth then is it possible for someone in their right sense of mind to marry someone whom one doesn't love?!! but my parents went in denial. and considering marriage is for lifetime . Before you accuse me of basing marriage on lust, like I was accused so in another thread, let me ask you "Would you marry , or expect any heterosexual to marry someone blindly, just for sake of reproducing? Do you call a young person lustful when they seek good partners for marriage ?" ANYWAYS, my agenda is not of debate, its of seeking an answer to not just my orientation but something far more lasting and of larger consequences. I feel pity on myself sometimes, and other times anger because I realize this sorrow too is my own earned, a fruit of some karma of past life. This forces me to be wary of what I do NOW and my soul warns me only to do good deeds , charitable, compassionate,... And perhaps praying to guru sahib about this also won't make me magically heterosexual because karmas can't be exhausted until expended. So, I fear that I will have to live with it until the day I die . Will have to cry those tears as much as I made someone else cry, although now I remember it not. Seeing the world and life for what it is , sometimes I have felt strongly to attempt to put an end to this "aava gavan" and seek liberation from cycle of life. In this life I am gay and miserable, what if all the charity of this lifetime give me birth as kid in some billionaire's mansion in another life. A life of luxury ! as exciting as it may seem, it still is a mirage ! because if this misery of today wouldn't last, neither will the riches of tomorrow ! No sukh or dukh is permanent, and yet here I cry . I wonder why we live a life of such contradictions. However this is part of my mind and thought process, which encourages I try to look beyond the current scenarios of sorrow and try to cross over this bhavsagar by taking amrit, doing nitnem, giving dasvand and living a dharmic life committed to guru ji and not dunia. My life might perhaps be blissful if there were no other part of my mind. However, there is another one as well, the one that tells me that it does take seriously the aforementioned raised spiritual concerns, but at the same time is fearful that it may lose the youth of 20's by being gyaani. So it tells me we can do sadhna and live a gursikhi lifestyle later , right now we can party (in a non-alcoholic, non-smoking, non-drug fashion) , enjoy sex and other joys this world has to offer, although tainted . Because what if I am in my 40s , look back and regret all I missed ? I did went to a gay party last night, I didn't drink a drop of alcohol though, and the tobacco smoke was choking me . I hate smoking / alcohol and even meat, but I just went there to see things. It tells me cut your hair (something I wanted to do since 10 yrs back but couldn't dare to do it till now) , make your body, go on dates , go places, enjoy life to a tee. And we can return to guru sahib's sikhi , take amrit when we have crossed mid 30's . I am literally torn in between these 2 voices in my mind. I don't know what should I do . While others are partying in their 20s and are excited about marriage, I die everyday in my thoughts . The soul swan cries unto its lord for help , and sometimes finds temporary refuge and solace in baani of SGGS. EDIT : I wanted to add that some 6-7 yrs back I slowly started sliding into agnosticism . However, In June 2015, miraculous intervention occured when I was seeking job happlessly. I heard a voice from my heart say "you do sewa of 11 sundays, u will be blessed with a job". And it happened ! I got a better job profile and a better paying one than I dreamed of and wanted ! I currently work at same place and I love it . Waheguru did save me before. In this case of sexuality too, he's my only hope. I hope he will save me miraculously again in terms of my sexual orientation. Other than him , I have no hope
  2. How does karma effect the pain we will go through in our lifetimes? If one experiences a lot of physical pain and emotional pain in their lives does that mean that they have a lot of bad karma?
  3. SSA everybody! I just have 1 question..whenever I want to do something good the first thing that pops in my mind is that I'm doing this for good karma! Is that any way to go about life and do u think I should change the way I think? Am I being selfish even if I'm doing something good for someone else? Thanks in advance ☺
  4. Dear friends, Firstly, I do feel blessed that we have been gifted with a son with autism. But it is difficult. He is a happy boy and very loving - but cannot speak, has independence issues, cognitive disabilities and social challenges. I'll be honest - we do worry about his future and his complex care does add stress to our lives. Our lives are not following the "normal" path.. whatever "normal" is. But I stay steadfast and am a very positive person at the core. I'm starting to rediscover Sikhi and the power of Naam. It does help me stay centred and on course. But I do question, why us? Why him? How can his soul find Waheguru? What was in his or our karma that led to this? What can Waheguru do to protect and bless him? This not to offend anyone.. but just some questions I've always had. Forever seeking. OneZ
  5. WJKK WJKF My wife and I were discussing this the other day and would like the Sangats views please. If a parent does bad Karma or owes someone money and dies still owing that money for example, would that Karam move to the child? I have heard that this will move to the child, but then I though of simple logic of its not the childs karma its the parents, and for example if you commit a murder, you go to jail not your child. This make sense? Phul Chuff Maff
  6. I'm confused, someone said people have no free will. Do we have free will? Or does God do everything? So do we make a decision to Jap Naam, or does waheguru make certain people jap naam? If wahguru does make everything happen then why do we get good or bad karam? We did not choose to do something, waheguru made us do it. So why are we rewarded or punished for that deed? Or did that guy get it completely wrong?
  7. WJKK WJKF I have had a question arise and would like to share with the Sadh Sangat. When we see someone with high Avasta, in good Sangat, following Sikhi, we say they must have done good Karams in a previous life. The same if someone has bad luck or things aren't going from them in this life we say the opposite. So where does this leave the materialistically wealthy but not spiritual? An example is a movie/ sports star. On the face you see that they are wealthy can buy anything they want, physically attractive, friends, fame etc, but not on a spiritual path. Would you say that they had good karma from their past lives to achieve a status of material wealth, or bad due to no Sikhi/spiritualism. If it is bad then why do they have worldy happiness, if it was good, then why no Sikhi for them, and why are they seem to be getting pushed away from God (focusing on worldly) rather than closer to God for having good Karam? Your thoughts please WJKK WJKF