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  1. Kaam help

    So I'm at 17 year old male amritdhar, so I've abstained from porn and masutrbation for about 4 months but lately my old habits of masutrbation and watching porn are coming back and i feel so devestated after watching porn and masutrbating, I know it's wrong but sometime I can't seem to controll, I do japji sahib path and ardass after each time I do masturbate and watch porn. How can I stop myself from feeling devestated and stop myself from this bad habit?
  2. Kids I Hide I Kaam

    WJKK WJKF Sadh sangat ji. My quaestion is how you deal kaam or sex thoughts with your children. today scenario is completely change. Today kids and children talk about sex with each other. like for example : - talk about sex etc etc because now days its very difficult to control over there because of facebook, whatsapp and youtube. but my quastion is how you people or parent teach your child according to gursikh amritdhari and khalsa need your help. regards, Gur sangat kini khalsa
  3. ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫਤਿਹ ਜੀ I'd like to receive amrit but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I feel like I've been delaying it long enough out of fear that I may trip up, mess up. Sangatji do things change after amrit? Are the 5 vikar just as hard to subdue or does it become easier after amrit? I have a bit of an issue with krodh but it's not something I can't overcome. Lobh and moh are OK. Hankar isn't too bad either. But kaam... Jesus. That one has a solid grip on me. I won't go into detail but I honestly have no control over this vice... I've let it get out of hand and now I'm It's the only thing holding me back from giving my head. I'm not married. I'm 26 and really can't see myself ever getting married. I realise that marriage would be a good place to practice and control kaam but marriage just isn't for me. Please advise. What do I do? Do I just give my head and then deal with my issues after or sort my issues first and then go to amrit sanchar? I don't want to lose out on amrit. I really do want it. Bhul chuka maaf karni ji.
  4. I have a few questions which I would like to ask 1. Did you feel anything when the panj pyare gave you the naam 2. I have lots of ego and kaam, I try not to brag about things but sometimes they (i.e, I also do paath) just come out and if im not praised by someone when I do something, (I am really smart and really good in music but when I dont get praised when I feel like I should, I get this feeling which is hard to describe but I sort of feel hurt). 3. I also feel like I should do bani secretly so I don't get praised but sometimes I just feel like telling people, (just so they praise me), I have tried hard not to tell and have succeeded but then people find out other ways, for example my parents sometimes tell people that I am doing paath....... or if people are coming to my house and ask, why didn't you open the door, I have no excuse but to tell that I am doing paath.... (if I say im in the toilet, sometimes they say they need to go there and I say ok, but when they go, they say "you went into the toilet and took a ****, but theirs no smell, and I cant see any fragrance bottle"(or what ever it is called), and I have no excuse but to say I was doing paath 4. I do ardas everything saying, kaam, krodh lobh, moh,anhkar tau bachakai riknaa, but feel like that it only works sometimes 5. Should I wait a few years and see if the ego goes down, then take amrit 6. If I do seva people start praising me for doing seva, so in order to combat this I do naam simran but then THEY START PRAISING ME/TALK BEHIND MY BACK AND SAY "he is doing simran and seva he must be a true gursikh...... EVEN THOUGH I DONT DO MUCH PAATH/AM NOT A TRUE GURSIKH, like only 4 of the 5 paaths you should do in the morning. 7. Should I go to the saints and tell them my problems and tell them that can you free me from the panj chor, if you do free me, make sure I am free forever(i.e not ever effected by them), if so could you guys tell me some mahapursh/saint which is in india,uk, austriala or nz (i prefer nz as its a lot easier for me to go there) or an saint/mahapursh, im saying this because ive heard from someone doing katha, in which there was a person which did lots of seva, (basically set up everything in the gurudwara and did lots of seva), there was also saint there I think. So one day he went to him and handed him everything of the gurudwara that he owned, (i.e the keys to do doors, etc), and he said that "i cannot do more seva" the saint asked why and then the other person said that he is being effected by the panj chor, (i.e he wants money, wants to make a better life for his kids, etc), so the saint said "is there any way in which you would stay and do seva, you have done seva for so long". the person said "if you burn the panj chor in me and make sure they dont come back" the saint say ok and then put his hand on his head, after a while he said "go back to seva you are free from the panj chor, i have burnt them and they will never come back". 8. What oil is good for your hair, (lol Ik random question) 9. What time should I sleep in order to wake up at 2:30 for amrit vela, what time do you guys wake up 10. help pls
  5. All who read the title may be thinking playing with yourself in a sexual manner. But let's understand kaam a little bit more in advance. Sangat jio, I can be an unsatisfied man at times! If I have gone with my friends to a high classified restaurant we all agree on one thing afterwards... "Next time we have to try another restaurant." Any guesses what we say next time after finding that another dine out?? "Next time we have to go for another restaurant!" Basically we can eat out in EVERY SINGLE restaurants across the whole wide world in our life time. Any guesses what will happen when ALL restaurants are dined out on? Will we be SANTOKH!? BACK TO POINT OF KAAM! Two words that I REALLY hate put together, is "Sexually unsatisfied." Two couples get married, they finally make love, then make love again... and again... NOTHING wrong there. However, once one spouse decides "I am not satisfied! I wanted more. My partner's not fulfilling all my desires I developed as a teen, My partner's sexual organs ain't big as I hoped..." THIS IS KAAM PLUS NOT BEING SANTOKH KICKING IN!" If you're unhappy with your spouse's body you are not likely to find happiness in a stranger's body (one out of many why partner's cheat on husband/ wife). Think about it. So Gurbani states to be santokhi and NOT to cheat on your partner. By being santokh half the life's problems will automatically be solved, BUT if your both lives are going by great and dandy, all love and happiness YOU'RE EVEN MOTHER AND FATHER! but never been happy with sex means the mind can become kaami, like "I wish their was another partner in my life, I wish I could cheat..." I guess we must be happy with what we have. You're a mum/ dad to 2 kids GREAT! It's a sign you made love and everything worked out well, if that didn't satisfy you, then what makes us think that another person could satisfy us?? (Just like new restaurants cannot satisfy us).
  6. Kaam?

    *edited* - Please search forum "Kaam" and you will find tons of discussions.
  7. Kaam help

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh I am not an amritdhari sikh and recently i made a promise to sachepashaji to quit masturbating. I broke after a few days abd now I am wondering if I have to pesh.
  8. Help

    wjkkwjkf I am 15 years old boy and its been a year since iv gotton into sikhi. I stoped cutting my hair, try to do as much simran as i can, read gurbani and try to understand it. I have a masturbation problem and no matter what i do, i cannot control it and please dont say it is normal. I want to finish this addiction and never do it again. Since iv gotten into sikhi i feel iv been going through a cycle of getting into sikhi, connecting with guru je and then losing it all to kaam. In more detail of the cycle: i dont masturbate for 1-5 days and feel i am getting closer to guru je. Next 1-2 days My mind gets distracted on my phone and go on youtube for hours. I see something the creates a urge for the kaam i was holding back to spill out. Then i feel lots if guilt. Then in 2-5 days i get motivated again and say i wont do it this time matter what,but i still do it. The cycle restarts. Sometimes i feel like killing myself because I think i am going to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of this life and no matter what i do i cannot stop it. I do lots of aardas to guru je and guru je has been very kind to me. Each time i fall, guru je gives me his hand to lift me up. This addiction is something i feel i need to conquer this myself because guru je has shown me the path, but i cannot expect guru je to put on my shoes for the trip. Please please please help me i cannt live like this, after i masturbate i feel like killing myself because i lost all the simran i did and feel i am losing precious breaths i could have used to connect with out beloved. And so i come to this fourm asking for help, tips, personal experience, etc. Like this
  9. Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsaa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!! Sadh sangat ji, I am looking for some direction/advice. I took Amrit at a young age but ended up doing kuraits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and cocaine at one stage. It was a tough time I was going through but no excuse as I still had love for Sikhi. Whilst doing this I never slaughtered my Kes in any way. I always had a deep feeling of guilt whilst doing the above and hid it from everyone (the activities and guilt). Later I met someone also Amritdaari and she had done a kurait as well. I did not disclose my kuraits although she as aware that I was 'Amritdaari' and had taken my Sri Sahib off but kept all other four kakkars. We become a couple and one thing led to another. Anyway, we are no longer together as she passed away in a fatal accident when she was in India. I have upped my Gurbani and Simran so much with Maharaaj's kirpa since. I went to do pesh 2 years ago and took Amrit again. I wasn't able to fully explain all the kuraits I had done as one of the Panj Piyaaray just began shouting at me for the first thing I explained which is fair enough but I still feel my pesh was not complete becuase I didn't get a chance to have a word again due to the amount of praani's taking Amrit that day. Since then I have been in touch with someone and we are really close. Problem is she is married and not happy. Kaam has always been a BIG weakness of mine although I have only been with one person. I have failed again Sangat ji. Having so much knowledge of Gurbani and doing so much Simran and Seva I have still fallen. I want to sort myself out again but need to wait until I can really keep on track and get my avasta to that level. Amrit is priceless and I still remember the Panj Piyaara saying "amrit baar baar nee mildha". I would like to know if anyone has been or is in the same situation or how many times people have been to pesh and taken Amrit? Sorry for the long story but I thought I would explain the situation(s). Thank you very any answers, feedback and guidance in advance.
  10. Wjkk wjkf. I am a 17 year old amritdhari sikh and i had the urge for a couple of months to indulge in kaam. After really hard trying to fight it i gave in *edited*. I feel very guilty as maharaj said that you should look at the opposite sex as mother sister daughters etc. So please tell me if this is a bajjar kurehit and i have to do a peshi in front of the 5 pyare, or should i do ardas and ask maharaj for kirpa and forgiveness.
  11. Masturbation I need help

    I'm an amritdhari 14 year old and I have masturbated 5 time.i really hate my self for it but in the moment my mind gives in. It somehow relieves me of my lust but I don't want to do it my mind gives in and im also forced by my mind to do it. I want to stop. Please help me pyare sangat
  12. do i need to go pesh

    so i downloaded a app and i thought it was a cool app and i click it and it turned out as a porn website and then i watched it for 3mins and then i realized i am a amritdhari {i didnt do anything bad} should i go pesh or not?
  13. feeling less Kaam

    hello i posted couple weeks back about reading bani from shri dasam granth. iv been reading Jaap sahib. last few weeks iv felt like im becoming a lot more closer to Sikhi. it might sound weird but i feel close to guru gobind singh ji! dont know how to explain, but like i go gurdwara nearly everyday and when i do matha tekh i always ask guru ji to make me closer to him and to make me a better sikh and give me opportunities to do seva. i have mp3 simran and jaap sahib and shastar naam mala on my phone and listen to it when i go out and about. i also have Nagara playing at hazoor sahib with aarti happening at the back on my phone to and listen to that on repeat. i also have stuck guru gobind singh ji's paintings everywhere in my room. since all this iv noticed iv been feeling kaam lust less. before all this i use to masturbate everyday! sometimes several times a day! though iv never had sex i use to think its ok to sleep around. i had been asked for casual sex several times my colleges etc but made excuses and refused because im of a shy nature and had anxiety. but now i cant remember the last time iv masturbated! if a wrong thought comes to my mind i imagine guru ji's image or start doing waheguru in my head and it goes away. i mean i dont even feel that interested in all that anymore! yeah i do get thoughts now and then but i dont act on it. is this normal? does this happen? i even sometimes use to do matha tekh and ask guru ji to help me with kaam. since then iv also gained an interest in nihangs, hazoor sahib and guru ji's shastars and childhood stories. i use to have serious anxiety problems and take anti depressant pills but last few weeks iv been feeling so confident! i have developed these strong feelings towards guru ji. because im confident now whenever i see anyone struggling on the street i always ask them if they need help. i just have been feeling very different. im not amritdhari but i dont eat meat anymore and i dont drink anymore either. iv just been feeling so confident and different recently, my anxiety is gone and i truly feel its my trust in guru ji that has helped a lot.
  14. Need Help With Lust

    I was blessed with amrit roughly a month ago but two to three afterwards, I started indulging in lust again. I am about 16 now and started indulging in lust at around 10 to 11.
  15. Waheguru Jee Ka Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh I have done a horrible mistake and wish to take amrit. I have not had sex but me and another amritdhari individual engaged in mutual manual sex (hand jobs, fingering...). My punjabi is not too good and I am SO ridiculously ashamed. Please someone help me and explain to me how I would word this in Punjabi to the Panj Pyare - what do I have to say? How in the world do I say this?
  16. Feeling Down Due To Kaam

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh How do control my kaam ? Recently I've been getting afflicted by kaam a lot its making me lazier and depressed. My mind just wants me to do bad stuff, sometimes I slip and start falling to kaam, but Guru Ji kirpa sometimes i realise what im doing and stop. But I still feel guilty, and sometimes I can't sleep sleep properly because I feel like i betrayed Guru Ji. Its getting kind of depressing now, I shouldn't be falling weak all the time. So i was looking for advice on how to avoid following my mind. bul chuck mafee
  17. Its Eating Me Alive

    So i been pesh before for m@turbting n singhs said keep strong but its eating me alive, every girl i see i have lustful thoughts too bad karam im literally dying its so surperessed what should i do just let it out pls some1 tell me b4 i do something stupid. Is it ok to do it n get rid of these thoughts its really eatijg me up. What to do im such a papi pls help
  18. I'd like to start of by saying I AM NOT YET AMRITDHARI. But I was aiming to take Amrit at my closest Amrit Sanchar in Malton, Ontario Canada Gurdwara in 2016. I would have loved to have taken Amrit at the Amrit Sanchar before this one,this year, but I waned to get in control of my Kaam Problem first. Sadly, instead of controlling it, it is only getting worse day by day. I'm losing control of the problem, and to top it off, I've stopped doing Bani and Jaap. I live in a whitetown far away from Malton so getting Sangat is quite difficult. My parents like Sikhi, but think that Sangat is pointless, and a waste of time, and that I should focus on my studies. Whenever I do get Sangat, I feel like I'm getting some strength, but it is very temporary, and after a few days I go back to my s***** self. Please give me any tips you can and thank you Khalsey Jeeo!
  19. Peshi Or No?

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh sangatoo, Daas want to share something regarding my friend. so he told me that he almost did bujjer kurehit. He was on the bed with another woman. He touched her like huggs and stuff but guru sahib did kirpa and it stopped. Nothing happened after. Now he is in a doubt of if he should pesh or noo??
  20. First of all let me express my agreement with all those who are likely to tell me so, that 'Kaam', or lust, is a bad thing. Where my own thoughts probably diverge from many other brothers and sisters in this matter is in my understanding of what 'Kaam' is. I consider a lustful person to be one whose thoughts are overwhelmingly predicated on sex, who struggles to control his (or her) desires which then go on to exert a detrimental influence on his (or her, though much more rarely it would seem) well being . A lot of other Sikhs conflate any and all varieties of sexual attraction, irrespective of their magnitude, with lust, and consequently consider it something that is dirty and should be guarded against. How can something which is necessary for the continuation of the species possibly be sinful? Everyone who is on this forum right now was conceived in a moment of sexual attraction. How could a bloke get an erection without feeling attracted to the woman with whom he is having intercourse? I do not believe 'lust' equals sexual attraction. I do not believe the attraction between a man and wife is sinful or something they should feel guilty about. I'd be interested to hear the views of the Sangat on this matter, and would welcome the advice of those better versed in Gurbani than I am.
  21. Thought it would be nice to start a thread where we share tips and practices that we use to combat the 5 thieves. Obviously gurbani and rehit are going to help, but what are some other extra techniques you guys use? For me whenever I come under attack I became mool mantar jaap or simran until it goes away. What do ya do?
  22. Kaam A Diff Perspective

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ke Fateh! Hi its the first time im using this forum i usually try and get answers from elsewhere but no luck to my question. What I wanted to ask was about sex before marriage. I am a bit confused about the concept of kaam is it acceptable or not? obviously the answer seems like a no, but then why does Gurbani say 'dharma artha kama moksha ka data...' meaning God is the giver off all of the mentioned. Also the Guru's all had children.. some had more some had less... I don't understand and please no answers like its ok but after marriage only, because when a Sikh gets married its laavan the paat which is read, i dont know why this is because thats about marriage to Waheguru. but then I know Gubani also says they are not husband and wife who simply sit together they are husband and wife who have one soul and two bodies, But i believe this applies to us individually and the relation between us and God/ as im assuming we are all the soul brides and this is telling us we have not completed our journey by simply sitting with Waheguru's in Nij Ghar etc, but that we as soul brides need to merge completely into the Shabad while yet alive to become true soul brides. I make this assumptions as Gurbani is a guide for the soul and as the mind is always portrayed as a soul bride and not our body. So this brings me to the questions is kaam acceptable after or even before marriage, and well if we define between kaam and love thats a different story. because one can easily say the have sex through love and not kaam. but bearing in mind and correct me if im wrong but Guru Sahib's also had children after they took Jyoti jot forward from previous Gurus? I am not using this as a gateway i am just asking if it is right before marriage or even after marriage. cz someone once said if u are not thinking of God because of a sexual desire or a ice cream cone it dont matter because the love for that moment aint there because of u have left the thought of Waheguru. BULL CHUK MAAF. please help
  23. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh I know there are a lot of kaam related topics but I couldn't find one similar to this situation so I'm hoping the admin will allow this topic.
  24. WJKK WJKF I'm 16 and this's a question I struggle with. Becoming an amritdhari is the first step in Sikhi and everyone says you don't have to be perfect to take that first step. I really want to give my head to the Guru and be committed. I do nitnem, kirtan, Simran daily, I follow everything I'm supposed to and I'm always trying improve as a Sikh. Kaam is my only problem, I'm trying so hard to get rid of my habits, but they've been going on for a few years. Although, in the past few months I've significantly reduced my kaami actions. At this point it's minimal but it still hits me now and then. Will it be ok for me to take khande bate di paul? If not, any tips to help get rid of this addiction?
  25. first of all , this is NO joke thread or any topix like thread. This is a serious. Well I have to admit that I am a bad Sikh - I watched porn and was somehow addicted for more than 4 years now.. I know there is nothing to be proud of and I feel ashamed . But due to Maharaj I managed now to stay away from all these "lustful" things in this society. I hate this society - every where is sex - from little you are forced to see such things.. really . I guess if there werent such things - I would never fall into this "addiction" . Anyway.... Now I am clean for about 1Month - and trust me it was REALLY hard. I did everything to avoid lustful thoughts and things and seeing woman in wrong way ( its hard cause most of them even attract us guys with short pants etc.. but thats not the topic) Well now I must say I feel very strong and clean - I keep saying myself "Mann jithe jagg Jeet" and it works - but I start to notice "physical problems" , like my intestinal making trouble and my testicles are feel "heavy" , like they are full or smth - there is such a pressure and I have cramps.. I dont know why! I didnt touched myself since 1 month , why all of this is happening now??!? I thought I have overcome that shitty Kaam... and I thought i can control it ( I know i cant kill it , because its a part of human being - but I want to control it) The Problem why I am posting this here as gupt is - that I dont want to go to a doctor. The reasons: 1. I feel ashamed of me 2. Maybe there is a woman dr. and it all will go worse - I dont want that - I still not feel that i conquer that. the battle goes on you know.. 3. I would NEVER tell my parents even if I die ( punjabi ... you know) I try to handle it myself .. have you guys ANY tips? I googled alot and searched the internet but there is nothing ABOUT abstinence only about SEX.. people are mad ... they say you have to "realease " the pressure etc- but I dont want to! This is a fight between me and my Paapi mann - I am trying to get the control over FULLY. So can you guys please help me? Or any dr.. here? Thank you..