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Wjkk wjkf about 4 years ago I realised the reason behind my habit of getting into relationships, letting men take advantage of me and cheating to get attention. I didn't get the love from my cousins/relatives and mom. The only person who stood by was my dad and my relatives never cared about me, their behaviour towards me just proved that they believed me to be the "extra" child since I was a daughter. I am currently 22, with Guru ji's kirpa I took choola at 9, amrit 15. Somehow guru ji has been waking me during amrit vela since 14, but I couldn't those habits. It sometimes comes as a shock that I am still virgin since I was made to think that sexual contact means care and love and most of these boys just took advantage of me. The change came when I was 18, guru ji pulled me back and I can't describe all he and mata Sahib kaur ji have done to this messed up daughter. But I fear this past of mine won't allow me to get married to a chardikala wala singh, who has a jeevan and keeps his rehit. Would you as a Singh accept such a wife? Would anyone do it tbh. It's a fear that comes across seldom yet makes me think of myself as unworthy.
tuhintuhin posted a topic in Book ClubBhai Guriqbal Singh Ji answering the concerns of people on spiritual journey. The book is in the form of questions and answers. Jeevan Sedhan.pdf.pdf
http://babagurbachandasunawale.blogspot.co.uk/ Sant Gurbachan Daas Una Sahibwale were a sanyasi saint belonging to the Sikh religion. They were born into the Sikh jatt caste late 18th century or early 19th century AD in village Sandhawa, Pharalla, Jalandhar, Punjab, India. They had two children named Sohan Singh and Darshan Singh. Sant Ji were born named as Jagat Singh and even till today there lineage in his home village are known as "bhagata ke" i.e,of saints lineage. Jagat Singh had one brother who's name was Hazara Singh. Later when Jagat Singh joined other saints of the sanyasi order he was named as Gurbachan Dass. Little is known about who there spiritual Guru was but it is believed that they had stayed with great spiritually enlightened persons at the time such as Sant Baba Hari Singh Kaharpurvale and Sant Baba Javala Singh Harkovalvale. Through oral tradition from his home village of Sandhawa, people learnt how Gurbachan Das foretold of the upcoming death of his young wife and that she would give birth to two sons. After the demise of his partner, the saint began spending more and more time in deep meditation. Some of the villagers built a small hut for him on some nearby farmland. His brother was entrusted with looking after his two small children. Baba Gurbachan Daas would spend the nights standing in water up to his knees practicing Hath Yog (meditation through physical discipline). From this period very little is known about his life except that he used to visit his birthplace infrequently. He became a wandering sanyasi saint and would stay with sant mandalis (groups). It is believed that Sant Hari Singh of Kaharpur used to send them to his home village to beg for alms as a test to see whether he falls back into the attachment of leaving his children behind. Baba Ji used to also go to the Kumbh Mela. It is widely believed that Saint Ji had received spiritual enlightment, through continous and immense spiritual practice and discipline. Many people have had the chance to meet them. It is believed that Gurbachan Daas blessed many people that came and seeked his blessings. Some have said that they have achieved material wealth and financial success by blessing. Towards the later stage of their life they stayed at Una Sahib near Anandpur Sahib where they used to live in mountainous area. There they found a cave and also developed the cave further to make a room from it, where they stayed for the remainder of there lifetime. Oral tradition states that tigers used to come and sit by him whilst he would continue his repetition of mantras and reading of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy scriptures. Baba Ji used to go down the hill to the villagers from where they used to beg for alms. Today a beautiful Sikh Temple has been built close to this cave by a single wealthy person. It is believed that this unknown person had some prayer answered and in return he had the temple built in remembrance of this great sadhu. Baba Gurbachan Daas lived to the age of 90 though this is unconformed. He died out of old age and it is believed that he did not suffer from any serious health problems.