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Its been weeks and i cant find any strength do paath any more. I've literally been in bed all day on my phone watching movies etc and not doing anything spirutual. I became so lazy. I even did ardas so many times to give me strength to stay on the path of sikhi and not fall off. I dont know what happened. All of a sudden i lost all motivation. At school i never ate anything because I wanted to find some sort of motivation to make me do my paath again. I use to find a way to force my self to do it. Pain etc, but not even that worked. Obviously you need love and stuff and some kind of connection with Gurbani to be able to do this. Maybe its cuz of my past life or something. Thats why im not blessed to be able to do these kind of things. I know so much about the spiritual side of sikhi, but find it so hard to do it and apply it to my life anymore. I use to do satnam waheguru jaap and mool mantar everwhere i went. Walking to school, at break, when ever i had free time etc. I did japji sahib all the time in my mind when i was at school because of my panic attacks etc. I know im a bad person and have a HUGE EGO (haumai). I dont know how to lose my lazyness. What do I do?? I never had any sikh friends in my life so i got no one to give advice or anything. I've never met any practicing sikh my age in my life who can relate and none of my family or anything practice it even though they are amritdhari and they know nothing about sikhi, they can't even name all the gurus. I dont know what to do. Should i just leave spirituality and sikhi? No one else around me is doing it and when i talk about these kind of things around other people, i get laughed at and they say "what the hell are you talking about, stop speaking this nonesense".