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Found 10 results

  1. The storm at the horizon I see coming

    I knew it would come one day or the other, but I had little option other than putting my faith in the lord and let the life take its course as the lord directs it. Finally my parents have started upping the pressure on me to get married. I had told them 2 yrs back I am not interested in girls and I don't feel for them the way other guys do . And instead I have those same romantic / sexual feelings for young men instead. But my parents ignored me and went in denial. They suggested I see a doctor for some "deficiency". My dad thought I had low libido. I know the doctors know abt homosexuality but will still see me as a sheep to be sheared (money) . So I rather asked my mom dad to take me to a gay-friendly popular psychiatrist who is also treating my mom for anxiety and depression. He talked to me privately and sympathized with my circumstances but said he would still suggest some tests and prescribe a few meds just to satisfy my parents, lest they take me to quacks instead. My blood - Testosterone etc were pretty much normal. The episode ended back then. Now its resurfaced . My mom dad had fight with my nephew (taaye da munda) in punjab because his wife and himself is quite rude and ungrateful for all my dad has done for them. So now marrying me is also seen by my parents as a way of "slapping" the relatives in punjab , and if don't get married, then it would be "slap" on my parents face instead and my parents become a subject of ridicule among relatives. So my mom dad are taking me to gurudwara marriage bureaus and asking every person on planet to find me a girl for rishta. Everyday they're talking of my marriage and its very stressful for me. I am obviously in a very tough state . But I know I am not alone. My satguru is always by my side . "Sagal dwaar ko chhad ke , gaheyo tuharo dwar". I went to guru sahib , put my plea in ardas and ask him to bless me with a gurvaak, When i lifted the rumala sahib and randomly opened the angs , I got ang 637 ਸੋਰਠਿ ਮਹਲਾ ੩ ਘਰੁ ੧ ਤਿਤੁਕੀ Sorat'h, Third Mehl, First House, Ti-Tukas: ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥ One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru: ਭਗਤਾ ਦੀ ਸਦਾ ਤੂ ਰਖਦਾ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਧੁਰਿ ਤੂ ਰਖਦਾ ਆਇਆ ॥ You always preserve the honor of Your devotees, O Dear Lord; You have protected them from the very beginning of time. ਪ੍ਰਹਿਲਾਦ ਜਨ ਤੁਧੁ ਰਾਖਿ ਲਏ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਹਰਣਾਖਸੁ ਮਾਰਿ ਪਚਾਇਆ ॥ You protected Your servant Prahlaad, O Dear Lord, and annihilated Harnaakhash. ਗੁਰਮੁਖਾ ਨੋ ਪਰਤੀਤਿ ਹੈ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਇਆ ॥੧॥ The Gurmukhs place their faith in the Dear Lord, but the self-willed manmukhs are deluded by doubt. ||1|| ਹਰਿ ਜੀ ਏਹ ਤੇਰੀ ਵਡਿਆਈ ॥ O Dear Lord, this is Your Glory. ਭਗਤਾ ਕੀ ਪੈਜ ਰਖੁ ਤੂ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਭਗਤ ਤੇਰੀ ਸਰਣਾਈ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ You preserve the honor of Your devotees, O Lord Master; Your devotees seek Your Sanctuary. ||Pause|| Yesterday my parents forced took me to a gurudwara 2 miles away , because of marriage bureau there, I again did ardas at that gurudwara itself and lifted the rumala sahib, I again got the same shabad as above. I don't know how things will turn in my favor. Right now I am utterly clueless , but I do know he's the causes of causes. Thats my blind faith in him. Its the only thing I have.
  2. I have often at times wondered why I am the way I am , but I also remember 101% that I didn't have a choice in it. If something makes me happy and I do have many such things in life thanks to god, then I often think its not just gurprasad but I earned it by some noble deeds in past lives. As Guru Nanak dev ji says in Japji sahib "Jeti sirath upaai vekha, vin karma ke miley layi" (As vast the world I see with all things in it, without good karma what can I receive and get ). The world is full of food, yet millions go hungry, world is full of clothes , yet millions go naked, so much of land is there on earth and yet homelessness . Because without karmas, we can't get even though world is full , as Japji sahib indicates. So , if homosexuality is a handicap (as it is usually due to social unacceptance) , did I do something horrible in my past life to deserve it ? Since sikhi has nothing to say on this topic, I read on other eastern religions. Buddhism for instance says homosexuality is a predicament due to previous life (joon) misconduct and that homosexuals should follow the dharmic way to attain salvation, because in the end "this too shall pass".
  3. From my posts here you probably know I struggled (and still do) with my orientation which puts me at odds with social orders and prevents me from living a normal life (marriage, kids,..) , something I always wanted to do. However, I also feel apprehensive of where I am now and the path I pick from here on, because whichever path I chose will land me at that destination. Not only I feel fearful but regretful as well. I am right now 27 and it will be another 11 months before I turn 28. My parents every other day keep insisting I get married . I told them I am gay 2 yrs back , I never felt any love for any woman, I am blind to what love to a woman even feels like because I have never felt it . How on earth then is it possible for someone in their right sense of mind to marry someone whom one doesn't love?!! but my parents went in denial. and considering marriage is for lifetime . Before you accuse me of basing marriage on lust, like I was accused so in another thread, let me ask you "Would you marry , or expect any heterosexual to marry someone blindly, just for sake of reproducing? Do you call a young person lustful when they seek good partners for marriage ?" ANYWAYS, my agenda is not of debate, its of seeking an answer to not just my orientation but something far more lasting and of larger consequences. I feel pity on myself sometimes, and other times anger because I realize this sorrow too is my own earned, a fruit of some karma of past life. This forces me to be wary of what I do NOW and my soul warns me only to do good deeds , charitable, compassionate,... And perhaps praying to guru sahib about this also won't make me magically heterosexual because karmas can't be exhausted until expended. So, I fear that I will have to live with it until the day I die . Will have to cry those tears as much as I made someone else cry, although now I remember it not. Seeing the world and life for what it is , sometimes I have felt strongly to attempt to put an end to this "aava gavan" and seek liberation from cycle of life. In this life I am gay and miserable, what if all the charity of this lifetime give me birth as kid in some billionaire's mansion in another life. A life of luxury ! as exciting as it may seem, it still is a mirage ! because if this misery of today wouldn't last, neither will the riches of tomorrow ! No sukh or dukh is permanent, and yet here I cry . I wonder why we live a life of such contradictions. However this is part of my mind and thought process, which encourages I try to look beyond the current scenarios of sorrow and try to cross over this bhavsagar by taking amrit, doing nitnem, giving dasvand and living a dharmic life committed to guru ji and not dunia. My life might perhaps be blissful if there were no other part of my mind. However, there is another one as well, the one that tells me that it does take seriously the aforementioned raised spiritual concerns, but at the same time is fearful that it may lose the youth of 20's by being gyaani. So it tells me we can do sadhna and live a gursikhi lifestyle later , right now we can party (in a non-alcoholic, non-smoking, non-drug fashion) , enjoy sex and other joys this world has to offer, although tainted . Because what if I am in my 40s , look back and regret all I missed ? I did went to a gay party last night, I didn't drink a drop of alcohol though, and the tobacco smoke was choking me . I hate smoking / alcohol and even meat, but I just went there to see things. It tells me cut your hair (something I wanted to do since 10 yrs back but couldn't dare to do it till now) , make your body, go on dates , go places, enjoy life to a tee. And we can return to guru sahib's sikhi , take amrit when we have crossed mid 30's . I am literally torn in between these 2 voices in my mind. I don't know what should I do . While others are partying in their 20s and are excited about marriage, I die everyday in my thoughts . The soul swan cries unto its lord for help , and sometimes finds temporary refuge and solace in baani of SGGS. EDIT : I wanted to add that some 6-7 yrs back I slowly started sliding into agnosticism . However, In June 2015, miraculous intervention occured when I was seeking job happlessly. I heard a voice from my heart say "you do sewa of 11 sundays, u will be blessed with a job". And it happened ! I got a better job profile and a better paying one than I dreamed of and wanted ! I currently work at same place and I love it . Waheguru did save me before. In this case of sexuality too, he's my only hope. I hope he will save me miraculously again in terms of my sexual orientation. Other than him , I have no hope
  4. Hi I know of an amritdhari Singh who will be getting married for the third time next year. He was married here once and the marriage broke down, he then went to Punjab to get married and again marriage broke down, he will now be getting married for a third time in Punjab next year. He has admitted in the past he is gay but not told his whole family openly. His parents just presume the other women haven't been good enough. I don't know him really well in person, just from afar, I also don't have any details of the girl he will be marrying. What advise can the sangat share?
  5. Im confused about how i should feel with the current events surroinding the LGBT community as a sikh. I accept that you cant be gay and be sikh or you can but you have to remain celbate for life, there is no mention of beging gay in gurbani and it is deemed un natural and lustful and part of kaljug and kaam, but does this mean we should be against it? surely sikhi would be against discrimination and inequality, and me being someone who has experienced discrimination bc of being sikh and a minority like many of us probably have its hard to be against it as we feel emepthetic, but, does this mean therefore that we should support it ? im really confused on the opinion i should have tbh lol, and p.s i'm not gay aha, it just something that people have asked me about and what the sikh opinion on it is and i cant really give a difinitive answer on it because i dont know enough, my opinion right now is leaning on the side that we should be nuetral and hence support it as everyone should be free to pursue their happiness and choose their life freely but at the same time understand that a sikh has responsibilities to live in the footsteps of our gurus. and if you are sikh you cannot do things that may be accepted by the rest of the world as 'okay' and normal, like smoking or drinking thats only my take on it tho, i look forward to reading others views and making a solid opinion fromt that and gurbani.
  6. Sooo I was on youtube and this was the first thing I seen. Is this form lack of knowledge or what??
  7. Sexuality Life...advice?

    Im not here to discuss what Sikhi or anyone has to say regarding homosexuality. I just want some honest advice, less of the preaching. So I am in a relationship with a guy. I also happen to be kesdhari. A decision of my own, not forced upon by parents etc. Long story short, I was on a path, decided being gay was "curable" or "forgettable", decided to keep my kesh and then i met my partner and now im stuck. Erm basically i have come to accept who and what i am. And the way i see it, my actions, my consequences. "Ohdi o jane, minu apni tohr niba lehn de". But...as a kesdhari guy i also represent millions. And though i dont see being gay as a bad or wrong thing, i just dont want any related stigma being linked to sikhi. For example, "hey your gay and sikh, so its allowed in sikhism...etc". I dont want that. Sikhi has and always will be an integral part of me. I can and will not let people associate my actions with those of sikhi. Similar to a kesdhari drinking or smoking or hanging out in brothels etc. I would never do that. So i guess what im asking is, what should i do? Please dont give me quotes and preaching etc sorry but its no use trying to talk me out of my sexuality. Try not being straight. Live and let live. Thank you.
  8. http://jezebel.com/sikh-temples-in-england-advised-to-beware-of-same-sex-u-857167306
  9. What Is Gay Spirtually?

    Is gay not a manifestation of kaam, since marriage is supposed to be for procreation? Does this not mean baba ramdev when he says he can cure gay with yoga (not agreeing with yoga) is correct? What is it otherwise but manmat??
  10. Homosexuality And Sikhism

    Hello All, Before I get to my question, I'd like to give some background as to where it's coming from. I am a western born and raised proud Sikh male. I am not amritdhari, as I don't believe I will be able to follow the strict "rules" constructed by society and applied to those who choose that path. I am also gay and therein lies the issue. From my research, I have come to understand that the Gurbani is silent on the issue of homosexuality. However, the Akal Takth has taken a heavy stance against it (I find this ironic since Sikhi is a religion founded on the basis of acceptance and equality. Telling people there's no such thing as homosexuals and they don't deserve the support of the community is the last thing I would expect from a leader of the faith.) Recently, I have been contemplating telling my friends and family of my sexuality. I understand this will cause them much pain, but it is who I am and people deserve to know the "real" me, and I also deserve to be proud of who I am (by hiding it, I'm making it out as something to be ashamed of; which I don't believe it is). Also, the idea of marriage is becoming a larger issue in my life, and there is only so much time that I will be able to manage to put it off. I have 3 questions which I'd like opinions about: 1) How would you react to the knowledge that someone you were close to was gay? 2) What are your thoughts on the consequences of the combination of my sexuality and religion? 3) What are your thoughts on the Akal Takth's stance against gay marriage and homosexuality? Now before people ask: Yes, I have tried "not to be gay", but it's not a choice. Trying is akin to pretending; which is lying; which is wrong. Also, have you "tried" not to be straight?
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