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Wjkk Wjkf everyone, I married a girl from India and sponsored her to Canada. A year and a half later her sister is getting married. They want to give all sorts of things to the groom's family for marriage. To me this smells too much of dowry and I am not a fan of it. The groom is not requesting anything, but my wife's sister and family want to give a ton of things anyway including Sofa's, bedset, TV, washing machine and maybe more. I'm not really familiar with marriage customs in India, so I need help. Everyone is an amridhari sikh. I am 100% against dowry, and thought my wife's family was too. When I asked my wife she said we only want to help my sister as much as possible. Make her life easy over there. And that this is not dowry, simply helping. I'm confused. Is this dowry? It seems to me they are giving all these gifts just to make the grooms family happy. Or are they just innocently making the brides after-marriage life easier? Please respond asap.Thanks
A video has emerged of a beating of a woman by a Sikh and his Hindu friend allegedly for dowry and giving birth to a girl. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4701172/Indian-woman-brutally-beaten-hockey-sticks-family.html Video: http://video.dailymail.co.uk/video/mol/2017/07/16/7931081988975183920/1024x576_MP4_7931081988975183920.mp4 http://www.hindustantimes.com/punjab/viral-video-woman-assaulted-by-in-laws-over-dowry-demand-in-patiala/story-eMCGE7VI3uF3Q53lNl4fPN.html I was a bit confused to see that the beater was what looked like a Sikh man, which is strange since the woman's name is Meena Kashyap. Kashyaps were one of the original eight gots of Brahmins. So why would a Sikh man be beating this Brahmini? And then I realized this must have been a "love" marriage. Love marriage for the win!! The HT article says she was beaten by her brother-in-law Kamaljeet Singh and his friend Gaurav in Patiala, Punjab. If you view the video, it's clear that one man has a beard and is wearing a blue round turban. The other man is wearing a black cap. They are beating the woman with sticks or bats. The camera is held by someone standing on a staircase looking down on a garage where the beating happens. Also in the video is a man on the stairs with a red pointy turban and his beard Fixo'd. This might be the woman's husband Daljit Singh. I would like to acknowledge that there are plenty of false dowry accusations by women who are trying to "get back" at their husbands or in-laws for some reason. But regardless of the base allegations being true or not, the beating subsequent to her filing charges speaks for itself. Also, this video demolished at least two myths regarding undesirable behavior around marriage and dowry: 1) that such things only happen in arranged marriages, and 2) such things only happen in villages. Wake up, people, don't deny social evils. Also, don't think that "love" marriage solves anything. The Daily Mail article has a surprisingly apt description of dowry and its problems: When a girl gets married, she can't break off a part of her father's house and take it with her, so people generally give something else to her (money, car, etc.) The abuse is the in-laws grabbing that stuff for themselves. Yes, I realize 8000 dowry deaths happen in India every year, and that's all across India, not just Punjab. But there's no reason that even one dowry death (or beating) needs to occur among Sikhs. ਹੋਰਿ ਮਨਮੁਖ ਦਾਜੁ ਜਿ ਰਖਿ ਦਿਖਾਲਹਿ ਸੁ ਕੂੜੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਕਚੁ ਪਾਜੋ ॥ Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display. ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ (ਮਃ ੪) ਛੰਤ (੧) ੪:੫ - ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੭੯
Benti - stop both expecting and offering dowry. Dowry is the root cause of female infanticide - which I'd say is the biggest ghallughara (progorm) of our times. Sikhs should strive to form a new society based on gurmat principles and we should break free from our ugly punjabiyat culture. "Har Prabh mere babula har devo daan meh daajo " Also like here in west - Parents should be responsibility of both sons and daughters Also sikh weddings should happen without regard to dowry , janam patri and caste and they should be simple affairs - without the extravagance and waste that we see these days.