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Found 30 results

  1. My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse .i still believed that my husband loved me I can't let go of the feeling of love towards him My husband is Amritdhaari Sikh and he is divorcing me after domestic violence and abuse and making false criminal charges on me just after 6 months of our marriage.. I was married here and came from India and was confined at home for 6 months..there were many daily instances of differential treatment with me and of abuse with me daily..i still believed that my husband loved me but after he put me through the most horrible situation, i still can't let go fo the feeling fo love towards him..everyone is saying I am saved by Waheguru but why do i still want to be with..i still want to talk to him once..i was thrown out of their house in a demeaning way and still i have feelings for him..why? What should i do...he has applied for divorce too and i dont want to divorce him..i love him truly and i have no one to go back to..my parents are not alive..am homeless in a foreign country..why did he do this to me after all this sikhi talk at his home and i was to take Amrit with him on this Baisakhi..why is this happening?
  2. I did post this yesterday however I am not sure whether it didn’t come through or the admins thought it was a joke or someone being silly and did not allow it. However I can assure you that albeit it sounds quite silly and quite yucky I am genuine asking this question to the cyber sangat for advise as I don’t know whether this scenario requires to be brought for peshi or not. There is two parts to this: I know this sounds silly and a little yucky but I tend to pick my nose regular as I get a build up (possibly because I have a lot of nostril hair) and many times when I pick my nose some nostril hair gets picked out with it. Is this wrong? Should I be more careful? Are there other amritdharis in my situation? Also I now have a regular tendency of keeping scraping my finger in the side of my nostril and feeling the long hairs inside the nostril and slowly keep doing this and this many times this ends up pulling out the nostril hair. Its become a habit whilst I’m watching a program; previously I used to twirl my moustache when watching a program however now I am doing this. I end up feeling bad. I don’t know whether sub-consciously I am aware of what I am doing, part of me thinks I do, part of me thinks this has become such a bad habit its become second nature. Do you think I need to go pesh? I am really confused but its really playing on my mind. I know the above may sound really silly and most probably laughable to some but I genuinely need some advice on this issue. Thank you.
  3. Dear Admins, Twice I have sent a post here in regards whether I need to go pesh, yes I agree it was little discriptive however I am posting in the gupt section to get some advice. Please can you tell me your reasons for not posting. I thought this was the whole point of a gupt section. I am thinking about this regular whether I have done something wrong or not and need some guidance because asking this guidance face to face is quite embarrassing. Thank you
  4. So a rishti wali had given my mother a potential match for me to go a visit, the girl ticks all the boxes in what we are looking for, she is tall, pretty, educated and her family are quite well off. I went to meet her and the family along with my mother, father and two sisters and we thought the family came across nice, the mother of the daughter was a little over bearing but we just put it down to nerves, I had some "alone" time with the girl in the front room and I got to chat a little with her, she seems down to earth and is even more pretty in real life than on the photo, I must admit i do fancy her abit. after the meet up my mother told the girls mum that we will let them know in a few days time but before that will be doing some check, the girl mum looked abit taken aback that we wanted to do checks but agreed. anyway long story short, my mother has found out that the girl has an older sister that we were not told about and this sister has been gone from the family for over 10 years now. Apparently she has ran away from home and is own with a Muslim guy. The family hasn't seen her since but I'm not sure if this rishta is right? i do like the girl but it's strange that her sister ran off, why did she run off, what if the girl is like her sister, I find it worrying that the family of the girl didn't tell us about there other daughter when we asked how many siblings the girl had, they never mentioned the oldest sister. should we decline the rishta or should I give it the benefit of the doubt and go ahead with the rishta?
  5. You may find this strange and a little funny but just wanted some genuine guidance from mature cyber sangat. I at times pick my nose (I know sorry for yucky detail) and withit my nose hairs get pulled out - is this seen wrong for an amritdhari? Should I be more careful? What do others do or feel about this situation. My main issue is that before as a habit whilst watching something I would twearl my moustache, however for sometime I have been keep putting my finger in my nose and scraping the side of the nostril and thinking to pick my nose which then turns to feeling the long hairs inside my nostril and keep doing this and which at times end up the nostril hair gets pulled out. It's become a habit and now It would seem part of my sub conscience knows what I'm doing but it's like second nature and a habit that I forget I'm doing this. Do I need to go pesh for this, it has confused me, is nostril hair also included? thanks
  6. My 'friend' started questioning my beliefs and it did annoy me. She is a strong Christian and is homophobic and doesn't like muslims because she said it says in the Quran that Muslims are told to kill Christians, anyway my other Sikh friend said that we believe that there is one god and there are different paths. She said "how can you believe that if there are different religions and one God, We believe in one god and thats Jesus" that really annoyed me because I am already doubting religion and she is making matters worse, please help me..I don't even know what I asking but its been disturbing me the whole time and has made me even more confused Sorry for my mistakes
  7. Need help guyssssss! So i've been with this girl for about a year, im a baptised Sikh, she is not of Sikh faith. We;ve never physically had sex with each other or physically kissed each other on the lips etc. however we have hugged, felt each other etc. She understood that we would never cross the line of sex and kissing because it would be a bujjer kureit and would ultimately affect my Baptism. I want to know from you all whats the best way of staying away from these situations? I do feel bad that i get in these situations where it nearly leads to intercourse but we decide to stop because we dont want to mess up. This has happened twice now and i dont want it to happen for a 3rd time because i know ill end up breaking my rehat which is the last thing i want. The first time it happened i did sukhmani sahib and japji sahib and felt a lot better. However whenever im with her the situation gets out of hand which i dont want to carry on. i really need your help. Thank you
  8. I've heard time and time again that's its wrong for Sikhs to take pride in something we've done or achieved since its all "given from God." But then how can we be punished for our sins? How can we take responsibility for our sins but not our good deeds?
  9. I keep making same mistakes the hair mistakes incidents are in no order and did not post all the incidents as there too many I AM lost and sorry I dont ever want my hair cut bu my mind becomes lazy sometimes and this happens READ......................................1st incident there was a pimple on my nose and I took out the pimple and afterward thought did I just break a hair and I saw on my finger there was a broken hair....................... 2nd incident I was getting clothes out of my laundry and was bent down and saw a pulling of my hair I told to my self its ok and kept trying to find the clothing and later on saw a hair pulled in my kachera after that situation. ..................3rd one is where I was closing a window and I was using one hand and saw blinds hitting my arm hair i didnt care if my arm hair was pulled off............ I also make sure to tie my joora perfectly where I comb all the hair straight and if I while tying move a hair or grab a hair I restart the process and keep combing my hair till I get it perfect ..........another one is are you aloud to push your pagh kapra like less say if your dumalaa on your forhead is sticking out too much like the clothing part and you push wit your hanwid like a slap but not untill the cloth is stuck to your haead or moving your bunga back with your hand like pushing it are you allowed to do this or not. ARe you allowed to squeeze your joora when joora is done and tap from top of the joora so it goes down and doesnt look like a big and long........anotha one is me playing basketball having a knee brace when I run the hair on my leg might get pulled is that ok or when having a bar on my back for squats and you know the hair on your neck might get pulled is that ok...............PLease heLP ARE THESES BAJJAR KUREHITS I am so lost if I go pesh for these things then same mistakes are going to happen as sometimes your mind becomes lazy as you saw from my incidents and it doesnt care does that mean I have to keep peshing again and again please HELP
  10. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh This probably seems like a stupid question but it got me feeling really guilty. At uni we have coursework, some include take home pieces and online quizzes. For the online quizzes/tests and some coursework's we are meant to do them on our own. But me and my friends we usually do it as a group and help each other. This makes me feel really guilty, and makes me feel if i done something really bad. I know this is a stupid question, but its really annoying me and disturbing me. Everyone at in my class does this, am I doing something wrong ? But then i think, if some asks me for help then i would help them.
  11. Hi! I am 21 year old girl and I want to move out from my house. The reasons are my mom had a second marriage and my step-dad (never seen or know anything about my real father) raped me since the age of 7 I was not able to understand till the age of 12 what was happening all I knew was that I didn’t want him to hurt me further. Since my mom did night shifts but when she quit work one day I mustered up the courage to tell her what was happening, around the age of 11. She told me to keep quiet and the same happened again when she returned back to work. But it was worse because since I had told my mom about it and she literally did nothing other than scream at him once. So he continued his abuse openly now and then every week he would kick my mom out of bed and take me from my room and rape me once, twice, or thrice a week as he pleased. My mom would just sleep beside my little sister and watch it all happen in the same room. Somedays it hurt so bad I would get up naked walk in the house and look for ways to kill myself. I am the only child from the first marriage the other two children belong to him even they hate their father for all he has done to me. At the age of 18 when I thought I had hope to go off to university and get far from this horror he didn’t let that happen every time I had an exam in grade 12 he would wake me up and beat me make sure I wouldn’t sleep. I still somehow managed to get a good gpa but he didn’t let that happen. Said there were financial problems so I couldn’t go to university and neither did he let me save up or do any job. I wasn’t allowed to have more than one female friend or even stay after school 5 mins extra for help not allowed to socialize with any family. He isn’t worth calling a monster he has done way more beyond that I was staying in the house so maybe I can could encourage my mom but she isn’t willing to move on. One day it got soo out of hand my brother called the cops while he was beating and I reported him for domestic violence and then he broke that prohibition entered the house and beat my mom with my step-aunt. All this happened just in begining of 2015. I thought this would make my mom realize she isn’t weak she can be independent but all she does is chase him and thinks he will change or has changed I know he hasn’t. He will be able to enter the house in February again all my mother is after is money and what people will say. I cant take these suffocations further I don’t care how he made up fake stories about me wanting to live alone so I can be a <banned word filter activated> that’s what he calls me. I really don’t care if no indian will want to marry me. I just want to have happiness and live a normal life, I know it’ll be hard but I’m willing to work two jobs just to get away from this pain. The only thing is my guilt conscious of leaving my mother but if she doesn’t want help, how can I help her? Knowing she will push me into the same hole. Will God still punish me for leaving my mother or am I too selfish??
  12. who is this girl from dragons den is she sikh?
  13. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh I am a young, 19 year old amritdharee female. I am born and raised in a typical punjabi family, however, we all do paath and are well into learning about Sikhi. I am the only daughter in the family, I used to be the girl who was into her, makeup, hair styling(i've never cut my hair) and basically all the usual girly stuff a typical girl is interested in. From a young age I have been attending gurdwara, sikhi classes and doing kirtan on the vaja. In 2013, we had our annual dastar day, where I tied the dastar for the first time and I fell in love with it. When I told my parents that I was considering wearing the dastar full time, they weren't against the idea (both my brothers have worn a keski since birth but aren't amritdharee) but objected by saying it was just a phase I was going through and I would change my mind. I few months later, in January 2014, we had a jatha come for a week and on the last day they were holding an amrit sanchar. During the second last divan, something in what they were saying me touched me so much that, almost 12 hours before the amrit sanchar I decided to take amrit. I am someone who never in my life even considered the idea of taking amrit but I don't know why, but I just felt that I was ready and had to take the leap of faith. I felt sitting in the darbar sahib that night, it was either take it now or never. So next day, I take amrit. I AM THE ONLY AMRITDHAREE IN MY FAMILY AND EXTENDED FAMILY. Now almost year and a half on, I do my paath (timing is an issue - but something that can be worked on), follow my rehat, wear a dastar etc. The first full year, I was convinced fully, and also told others who asked me, that me taking amrit suddenly was the best decision ever and I would never look back, I feel so blessed to be on this path. HOWEVER, for the past few months my confidence has shattered. I can't stop my mind from falling weak to think that maybe I have made a quick decision- one which perhaps I should have thought about more carefully. I do my paath - I love doing paath, kirtan... I wouldn't be able to live without it... sikhi is my identity and one I'm so proud to be a part of BUT! My appearance.... I love my dastar but for the past few months I really miss the old me... the girl who was free spirited, carefree, girly,.. I MISS MY HAIR.. I MISS LETTING IT DOWN .. I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY HAIR!!! (I've never touched alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and I'm a strict vegetarian and have never entered a club apart from wedding functions with my family). I feel so weak when I say that I go to bed crying most nights these days because I feel so guilty that Mahraj knows what I'm wishing for.... to be free. I see other girls who are like the old me, who like to dance, wear makeup, style their hair etc but still keep intact with their sikhi, do their paath, learn about their dharam etc but aren't amrithdaree... I wish I took time to think about it and maybe today I wouldn't be sitting here crying whilst typing this up. My family and friends and my community are so proud of me for the step I took a year and a half ago but what do I do now??? I literally feel that I have no one to pour my heart out to that would understand what I am going through.... I talk to Mahraj about this but I feel like I'm trapped... no matter what I do I'll only bring badness... If i continue the way I am, I'll never be a good gursikh, and if i go back to the old me, I'll dishonour and bring shame to my family- HOW WOULD I FACE THE WORLD... I have never done anything wrong up till date and don't intend to. But when I look at my family, my sisters, my cousins, I see the old me in them- The happy me! I really need someone to advise me, I can no longer sit here with all this bottled inside me... I don't want to be depressed any more... PLEASE someone help me! Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji K Fateh!
  14. Really Sorry for engine this topic up! I am 17 years old. I took amrit at the age of 12 because I felt very connected with the guru at the time and i knew and I still know that the main objective in this life is to become jot Vich jot with waheguru, and the first step to doing so is Amrit for a Sikh, that's why I took it at an early age because I felt like I didn't want to waste my time as we don't know we are gonna die, anyway..it was going well till I was about 14/15, at 14/15 puberty hit and I felt more prone to 5 evils, I got involved with the wrong crowd, and The effect of this was I stopped doing my nitnem and Simran and alot of things...I pretty much gave up being an Amrit dhari for a while and then this girl came into the picture... loads of guys liked this girl and the fact that she wanted me over them was crazy for me at the time because I'd never experienced that before, at first I thought I was getting way ahead of myself because at te end of the day I was still an Amrit dhari and a sikh of the guru and as I hadn't done anything to break it apart from stopped doing my nitnem for a while I didn't want to risk doing something that bad, but then I got encouraged by my friends to go for it and well I did it and I gave into lust after that I got depressed becoz I knew what I did was wrong, but I felt shameful so I resisted going to the gurdwara and stuff and took of my kirpan n stuff of because I didnt feel worthy to wear em and I didn't know how to face guru ji, I spent about half a year being shameful and depressed and then I started to fix up after that and start praying and everyday since then I ask guru ji for forgiveness even till nw, I got rid of my old friends and made new ones, good ones and I focus on school more, since that girl didnt go to my school I never had to face her again and from there I just started trying to become religious again, everyday I wake up at 6 and do my 5 bani's and I ask mahraj for forgiveness for being so foolish. I know I'll never do something like that again but I don't know what do now, do I beed to take Amrit again? My patens don't know anything about this, how do I tell them I need to take Amrit again? What would I say to the punj piare? I'm so confused ... Has any1 ever been thru something like this? I can't tell me parents because I just can't, they won't be able to take it.. I'm truly sorry for bring up this topic but I need help I dont know how to feel or what to do!? Wjkk wjkf
  15. I almost have a six pack now but I am now thinking what was the point all this time? To impress the females? I am a bit confused now...
  16. How come there are 79 guests online and I have to login to view the forum? Am I under any moderation or anything please let me know ADMIN. Thank you ji
  17. I just need some guidance please. I'm a manmukh Sikh. I do Simran etc often though (every day). Lately I kept having dreams with the Hindu Goddess Durga in them. I spoke to my Hindu friend about it and she said it usually means its warning you of something to do with fertility or death...she was correct...I found out a few weeks later. Now I'm having dreams with her again and I feel my attention going to her ... even though I still do Simran and turn to our Gurus all the time (many times throughout the day). But I cant get her out of my mind. Whats going on?! I feel like I need to start incoporating her when im doing my ardas/simran everyday. Is this bad? What should I do? I'm not into Hinduism at all so this is confusing me! There is no way I would turn my back to Sikhi as I hope to become a Guru's Sikh one day.
  18. I've recently begun question my faith in Sikhi. I cannot think straight since having these doubts. We believe that god created the Universe and Earth and that he is everywhere. We also believe in reincarnation and that the soul is reborn many times until it is liberated. Why did it take so long for humans to arrive on Earth if we are the highest life form? What was the point of the dinosaurs etc. Did our souls live as dinosaurs? That was hundreds of millions of years ago, was the soul going through all of those life forms until we became humans? Who is to say that we won't further evolve into a higher being? When did humans first start to think of god? I'm sure the first cavemen had no idea of god. Why is India/Middle East such poor places with many social problems and inequality? These are the places where most of the worlds religions formed yet they are highly corrupt and having shocking human rights records. Northern Europe in contrast is quite a tolerant place, is wealthy, has more equality and is less corrupt. Most people there are atheists. Compare this with Southern Europe where people are more devout and corruption and racism is more rampant. How do we know that the gurus didn't just make Sikhi up? If god wants us to worship him, then why not just tell us? I don't want to offend anyone I just want some answers.
  19. hi me and my friend were randomly talking about punjab and than conversation switched to bhindrawale/khalistan movement. He is telling me that sant ji was a congress agent sent by indra gandhi to go against the akali's but than he turned on her thus leading to 1984 is this true?? He also said that uneducated pendu's supported bhindrawale and no one in the cities did and he also said everyone in india knows he was a congress agent??
  20. Well I grew my hair for 17 years.. and I feel like cutting it. I grew it long because of my mum and dad and cos they don't want me doing fashion or anything .. my dad cuts his hair, my mum grew her hair but because of age its not as long as mine. I cant paint my nails, do makeup, wear dresses/skirts. when I was young I could but as I grew up.. in yr6 things changed. I don't care about dresses or skirts or makeup. I feel like cutting my hair as its too long and cos im not religious im confused. my siblings had long hair but my bro and sis cut theres cos my bro couldn't handle his so my dad and mum allowed it and my sis cut it on the sly although she got told off. I feel like doing a fringe and cutting it back length..cos its longgggggggg like dragging. I cant do fashion hairstyles either. :Lol. I cant ask cos im scared. -.-aha what do you think?? I feel like painting my nails but like light colours not to daring as my mum and dad always have sed.. ur single so u shouldn't do much as people would look and blah blah.. I will be getting an arranged marriage. btw if u love someone..and they love u but there an diff caste how do u go on about it.. like I said arranged.
  21. Im a westerner..but im a proud Punjabi Sikh! the thing is I don't know alot of Punjabi and I would love to learn and speak it. mum and dad were born in the uk, they sent me Punjabi school but I got kicked out -.- are there websites that teach you or whatever?? would really help..i don't wanna go Punjabi skool again.
  22. When is it acceptable to read SGGSJ of my phone,, there are some apps which allow u to read guru ji on it but i dont know if its right or wrong to use them, because having our guru on our phones kind of lowers the respect we should be showing to guru ji because we are treating it just as we would with any other app etc, but at the same time i dont have acess to do sahej paat in gurdwara's and the apps have the meaning of what is being said, i can gain so much knowlage from then so it would feel like a shame not to use it, im double minded on this topic Also when is it acceptable to listen to shabad kirtan offmy phone, i usually just put my headphones on whenever i can and listen to it while im doing my daily tasks n going to school and stuff, is that fine or do i need to be more strict with that aswell, what do u guys think about this?! Thanks Wjkk wjkf
  23. wjkk wjkf im 16 and im looking for a summer job, im going to go and hand some of my cv's out to shops around my area. one of my skills is that i can work the till because i already do that at the place im vaulenteering at right now ( a chirty shop) so im scared to apply for places which sell alcahol because then i might have to work the till and sell alcahol, what shall i do? is selling alcahol against rehet or is it fine? wjkk wjkf
  24. Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.. Here is this youtube channel named . :smile2: It talks about SIkhi and the fundamentals... A real nice effort.. . If it is already shared, excuse me for being redundant :stupidme: . If not do check it out.. A heads up, the videos are mostly in english and deal with the roots of sikhi... Bhul chuk maaf. Rab rakha :khalsa: