Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'back home'.
Found 1 result
Hi all. I just want to ask how comman is this thinking in Punjabi communities or is it just a mindset my own family and extended has. basically everyone in my family and extended family have a mindset that Punjabi/ Sikh girls that are from UK are somewhat not marriages material and it's best to avoid getting there sons married to Sikh girls from UK and instead invest £££ in a girl from india! last year I had an argument with my mum regarding this topic, my eldest sister is happily married to a mona Punjabi guy who is uk born and they have been happily married for 3 years no problem. Last year my mum wanted my brother to get married, she insisted that she only wants a girl from India for her beloved son as U.K born girls are not worthy of marriage (regardless of the fact my mum has me and my sister as daughters!) my brother also holds the same views, I objected and said it would be much easer to marry a girl from uk as she can:- 1)understand the cultur better, she has lived here all her life she knows the rules, ways of life. A girl from India will need time to settle and ajust/adapt, she will have problems understanding things and be dependent on my brother. 2) a U.K. Born girl has been educated here, would most likely have a job in place and has a right to drive. She would have no money issues and would not be dependent on her hubby, however a girl from India will be dependent, may take years to find a decent job, would have to learn to drive from scratch, would not be established here. 3) a girl born here would have more in comman with my brother than a girl from India. after giving my points and views in why I want my brother to marry a girl from here my mum took my brother to see some rishtsa from uk, however I think my mum purposely took my brother to see girls that my brother would not like. me and my sister have been raised very strict, we never went out, never wore revealing clothes, were escorted to and from school/ high school/ collage and never had mobile phones or internet connection! thes girls my mum was showing my brother were the opposite of how me and my sister are, I'm sure there are plenty of well brought up uk Punjabi girls yet my mum found the worst types!! anyway, my mum got her way and my brother is married to a Punjabi girl from India. After declaring income and all the procedures and money being thrown at her to come here she is finally here, she seems confused and home sick. My mum treats her a bit like a maid and my brother is at the moment in the honeymoon stage, she is all ji ji and hanji for now. My question is, why do Punjabi people think uk born girls are not good engough? Why is it worth being a girl from back home? Is it for controll?