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I feel so disinterested with life not depressed or sad just no interest and not laziness. I only want to do simran in my remaining month of summer break for some 18 hours a day, however I am not in the situation to do so. For example 1 Family and relatives all come over so we have to give time to them and dont leave until end of summer. I am glad they came but at the same time I wish they would leave. 2. I dont have a fixed room where I can be undisturbed for 18 hours a day without someone calling me to eat or someone coming into my room to get something, as I share my room with my brother and there is no other space to do simran except the room with maharajs saroop, but I cant keep a lock on guru sahibs door as I am not guru sahibs only sikh who needs help. P.S there is a shed outside with tools, I was thinking of cleaning the place very well before doing any simran there 3. I dont know what or how to tell my parents or how they may react I just kind of wish to move out in a small home by myself just to do simran but by that age and time where I will be able to do those things I will be crammed with other busy life things like school or lifethen even after that marriage and having a family. I feel like the world just doesnt want me to do the one thing I love. But then again it is kalyjug. I know your supposed to live in grishti jeevan but I want to do some work which I can be by myself for long hours with not much concentration and earn some money. Something like truck driving (something my parents would never agree to) and they want me to be a doctor, spending most of your youth studying. But you have to concentrate as a doctor at work obviously. I just need help. I cant take a personal hukamnama since we have 2 parts of guru granth sahib and I need do karah prashaad which I dont know how to do. And I cant do it at the gurduwara without parents knowledge. Can someone plse. Take hukamnama for me and give me advice