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  1. Im posting this just to get some generic sikh views on how to deal with difficult members of the family What do you do when you have a 'black sheep' in the family who throughout their life has hurt you and others members of your family and continues to do so? Its gone past the point of talking to them - we are at the point where we have just come to accept that this is their character, but how should we be with this person? Ive seen alot of families just disown certain members but this is hard to do when you still care for them. From a sikh perspective though, can anyone suggest how our attitude or way of thinking should be so we are not hurt? Or will we just have to live and accept being hurt by them? Ive deliberately kept the scenario brief because im looking for a more generalised answer Appreciate any opinions on this...
  2. WJKK WJKF, Sangat ji, I’m seeking guidance regarding marital planning. Sangat ji, please don’t mind this, but I’m a sehajdhari (cut hair) asking for advice. With all due respect, ‘No dating’ doesn’t apply to me. I’m from gta/Toronto, in my late 20s. I didn’t have brown neighbours/classmates growing up. Fast forward to today, I still live where I never see Punjabis. I just need to know how I should go about meeting a man. How do people like me, in the late 20s, find a suitable Punjabi match these days? I even went through matrimonial sections of newspapers my mom got for me. (All the men look for “a traditional, family-oriented woman”, & the men never describe themselves as family-oriented, but that’s a topic for another day.) I broke off an engagement because my partner became agnostic. Although I’m just a sehajdhari moni (cut hair) & seldom drink, I’m still spiritual and I wish God pairs me up with a man who will value what I value, like being vegetarian, being humble, being outdoors, and doing seva at the Gurdwara.. But these points (except vegetarian part) aren’t listed in the mens’ matrimonial entries. My mom suggested I do sevaa at the Gurdwara to pick out a respectable man there, but that shouldn’t be my focus at the Gurdwara. I guess my question is.. How should I go about meeting Punjabi sikhs/sehajdhari with marriage as the goal? I’d rather not read anymore sexist matrimonial entries lol. I’m open to everyone’s respectable suggestions. My fellow Toronto folk, let me know. * [Sehajdhari -meaning I accept Sikhi as my dharam but just don’t have kes (kept hair).] Thanks for your patience. WJJK WJKF
  3. Santhia in Panjab

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh... I was comtemplating with the idea of going Panjab for a few months (maybe 3) and wanting to learn santhia. Any ideas where the best place to learn would be and how one would arrange this? Thanks
  4. Wet Dreams

    Hello sangat ji, I need your help if anyone can help. It has been 6 years, since grade 9 I have been having nocturnal emissions. I do not do any of those things that people think are related to this. I am clean guy, try to follow Gurbani, want to take Amrit soon person. i don't know how to stop his from this from happening ! I have been doing ardaas, to stop his from happening, but it does not. Is this normal !! Are there any Sikhs here going with the same problem or is this only me ! Am I destined to hell. I can't take this anymore Is this due to stress, not being emotionally stable, diet , is this linked to anything ? please help , don't know how to get help around this Also I don't remember having lustful images in my head. In the morning I just wake up and see the results of the emission
  5. Hi, I just need some advice. When I was a kid I used to swim, and then I stopped . I am 20 and I want to start swimming, but its my body that does not let me swim. You see swimmers all shave, and don't see hair on their body. I know as a sikh its all wrong, but I don't know if I should start to swim again . You dont see swimmers with hair and beard. It will be so weird. Swimmer shave their armpit hair and their body, and as a guy as a sikh who trys to follows its priniples, what should I do ?
  6. Vaheguroo Jee Kaa Khalsaa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!! Sadh sangat ji, I am looking for some direction/advice. I took Amrit at a young age but ended up doing kuraits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and cocaine at one stage. It was a tough time I was going through but no excuse as I still had love for Sikhi. Whilst doing this I never slaughtered my Kes in any way. I always had a deep feeling of guilt whilst doing the above and hid it from everyone (the activities and guilt). Later I met someone also Amritdaari and she had done a kurait as well. I did not disclose my kuraits although she as aware that I was 'Amritdaari' and had taken my Sri Sahib off but kept all other four kakkars. We become a couple and one thing led to another. Anyway, we are no longer together as she passed away in a fatal accident when she was in India. I have upped my Gurbani and Simran so much with Maharaaj's kirpa since. I went to do pesh 2 years ago and took Amrit again. I wasn't able to fully explain all the kuraits I had done as one of the Panj Piyaaray just began shouting at me for the first thing I explained which is fair enough but I still feel my pesh was not complete becuase I didn't get a chance to have a word again due to the amount of praani's taking Amrit that day. Since then I have been in touch with someone and we are really close. Problem is she is married and not happy. Kaam has always been a BIG weakness of mine although I have only been with one person. I have failed again Sangat ji. Having so much knowledge of Gurbani and doing so much Simran and Seva I have still fallen. I want to sort myself out again but need to wait until I can really keep on track and get my avasta to that level. Amrit is priceless and I still remember the Panj Piyaara saying "amrit baar baar nee mildha". I would like to know if anyone has been or is in the same situation or how many times people have been to pesh and taken Amrit? Sorry for the long story but I thought I would explain the situation(s). Thank you very any answers, feedback and guidance in advance.
  7. Sikh Sangat Ji, Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ke Fateh! I shall try my best to put into the smallest amount of words what I am looking for and why. As a person, I had never been in touch with my emotions, nor did I ever consider this an omission in my life. With Guru's Kirpa, I was given the ability to really understand my emotions, and I began to develop, in all directions. This was an unimaginable experience for me, but at the time, of course, I didn't stop to think of how incredible I felt, because it felt so natural and real. This probably lasted for a month or two. And that may sound short, well, it indeed does, but I was in chardikala! Time wasn't on my mind! Unfortunately everything went downhill, and I experienced the worst period of my life yet. I went from having 15 years of an average life, to a month of amazing realisations, to the worst year possible. I could write pages about all of this but that is pointless right now. It has been over a year now and I've only improved a bit in that I am not as numb and negative about life, but a bit, means a bit. I am amritdhari and as far as I can remember I haven't enjoyed myself at the Gurdwara, or willingly gone, in months. I haven't done any paath in months, probably over a year, except the rare occasion. I just can't bring myself to do anything, really. Being stuck in this limbo phase is something unimaginable, just like the time I was enjoying my life. Having experienced such chardikala (of which I am sure was just the beginning) I am gutted that I can't seem to get back there. For over a year now I don't understand how I will ever get back there. Everything has just worsened. Additionally, I am not close to any of my family nor do I have Sikh friends. I have a couple of close-ish friends, although I have realised that as I've been trying to 'get back up' I have basically just been letting myself get influenced by them and their thoughts; things that I would never ask myself or things that I would say "Why waste your time thinking about or doing that when you could be practising Kirtan, doing paath, practising Gurbani Santhiya! Writing this now I barely feel a thing. Thinking about the good times has definitely improved my mood, but it isn't enough. Pleaseeeeeeee please please, just write any of your thoughts. Your advice, opinions, experience, anything. Please. I am ready to get back up, slowly and steadily. I don't mean to offend anyone or come across as dramatic but I am quite all over the place so please don't pick at everything I say. Bhul chuk maaf
  8. Need Help With Lust

    I was blessed with amrit roughly a month ago but two to three afterwards, I started indulging in lust again. I am about 16 now and started indulging in lust at around 10 to 11.
  9. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Kee Fateh! Please forgive my ignorance in advance as I am just seeking advice and not really promoting something. Daas became vegetarian 8 years ago due to having issuing with some personal family matter. During this path for 8 years daas has been very healthy but due to busyness (babies and work) of my life daas was not able to follow daily workout routine which was okay as daas remained healthy until the last few years. Daas felt very tired, low, depressed and lazy. Even though I tried to workout but no luck so after family pushing to go to the doctors to get checked, daas was diagnosed with very low b12 levels, I mean very low levels, now daas need to get b12 shots every month, but those dont help either, and if missed daas gets very low with everything in life causing fmaily members stress due to worry. Did some research on lack of b12 and what could happen in the future: https://chriskresser.com/b12-deficiency-a-silent-epidemic-with-serious-consequences/ Doctor agreed as well and said my current diet is not sufficient have to take shots. Daas is not amritdhari but is shejdhari, on a path to be amritdhari in the future, so daas approached a close friend who happens to be a Nihang Singh (very blessed) who suggested to eat eggs and doctor said it would help as well, Not sure if this is the right move but after reseraching this forum daas ran into this thread as well: http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/69134-eating-eggs-in-sikhism/ Any advice can help, thanks Sorry again if daas said anything to upset anyone. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Kee Fateh!
  10. Intercaste Relations

    Hi guys, just looking for some advice on an awkward situation. :unsure2: I've been 'suffering' from depression for several years now alone, and recently found someone who was willing to listen to my concerns and help me through what was a very very hard time recently, which consisted of anxiety attack after anxiety attack, breakdowns and feeling very low and even considering suicide at times. It wasn't a pretty sight haha. I'm 18 and a Jatt, and he is 18 but Tarkhan. Obviously this raised a huge problem among my family when they realised of his existence. They got into contact with his family making threats etc. which was the wrong way to go about it in my eyes. My relationship with my family has not been very good for several years now, and I often isolate myself from them so it's been comforting to be able to talk to this boy, and his family are very understanding of the whole situation. I fear that cutting contact would have some drastic consequences on my mental function. Just wondering what I could possibly do? Appreciate your help
  11. Question About Rehit

    waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh sangat ji please help. my husband is not amirthdhari. i did take khande di pahul after my marriage, without telling him. Now i am asking my husband to take khande de pahul. if he wants to keep relationship with me he always started argue with me whenever i ask him, should i go pesh or still wait for him gurfateh ji
  12. I was born in a Christian family, but ever since I started learning about Christianity I couldn't help but disagree with a lot of Christian viewpoints. Since I did/do believe in God, but just didn't agree with Christianity, I started reading about other religions. When I came across Sikhism, I concluded: This is the right religion for me, it has the same opinions about life and God as I. Since some time I've been reading and learning as much as possible about Sikhism. I am trying to live like a Sikh should, and I am planning on taken Amrit when I feel ready for it. However I still have some questions: 1. Is there a good way to learn Punjabi online?(I can read Gurmukhi already, so just the language) 2. Would it be okay to translate the Guru Granth Sahib into my native language(dutch)? 3. At what age should one start doing Sewa? 4. There is no Gurdwara near my home, is this going to be a big problem? 5. Today in Biology class we did a small practicum on flies, we had to count and describe them. Afterwards we were told to kill the flies by giving them an overdose of Ether(a narcotic), or our instructors would throw the anesthetic flies in oil for them to drown. I chose to kill the flies(49) by giving them an overdose of the narcotic, which I thought would be less painful than drowning. However, I don't know if I made the right choice, should I have done something else? Thanks in Advance
  13. Hi all, I need some pagh material advice. I need a really thin, light weight, stretchy, breathable pagh material. I wear a pagh for 24hours sometimes (due to work commitments) and so it needs to be light and breathable to let sweat escape in hot working environment. My length is usually about 3m, black colour. Can anyone please give advice on which website and which material name/number is best in this case? Thank you
  14. Non-Punjabi Sikhs

    I have a question, how are white Sikh converts received in Sikh community at large?
  15. No Sangat

    got good sangat at gurdwara, knew them for over 10 years but parents suddenly stopped us going reason is known.. it is my behavior, apparently its bad, but i dont think so, i helpat home,,, dont talk back etc... and my school friends at school are all muslim, no sangat at the moment haven't been gurdwara in 2 months still reading as much bani as possible teen need my sangat back, but how?
  16. A Secret I Have To Keep

    I'm a male, 17yrs old. I don't know what to do - I live with a secret and it makes me feel terrible. I know I can't tell anyone but at the same time I'm worried and I really stopped enjoying my life recently So the story is: My really good friend (not sikh) is constalntly cheating on his girlfriend - a beautiful, honest, wise, godfearing sikh women. I promised him not to tell anyone but my heart just breaks every time I look at them together - she seems so in love yet he is such a bad person... I told him that he has to stop but he says he won't... And now I don't know what to do. I consider him as a friend but she doesn't deserve that
  17. WJKK WJKF Okay let me explain quite a long time ago i was sexually touched up by someone i knew. it really did mess with my head in so many different ways. i cant seem to stop getting bad thoughts in my head and i think you can kind of gather which thoughts they are, i have a very big problem with constatly daydreaming, i know this sounds crazy but i daydrream all the time and it is really bad! i do have anxiety and depression but its not a thing where it has been diasgnosed. im finding it very difficult to feel normal and im so afraid hat one day i will just explode or somthing bad will happen. my head does not feel right at all. has anyone else been through something like this? becuase im feeling really lonley right now i dont even have alot going on in my life right now... Please help Serious answers please. Thanks in advance
  18. Sexuality Life...advice?

    Im not here to discuss what Sikhi or anyone has to say regarding homosexuality. I just want some honest advice, less of the preaching. So I am in a relationship with a guy. I also happen to be kesdhari. A decision of my own, not forced upon by parents etc. Long story short, I was on a path, decided being gay was "curable" or "forgettable", decided to keep my kesh and then i met my partner and now im stuck. Erm basically i have come to accept who and what i am. And the way i see it, my actions, my consequences. "Ohdi o jane, minu apni tohr niba lehn de". But...as a kesdhari guy i also represent millions. And though i dont see being gay as a bad or wrong thing, i just dont want any related stigma being linked to sikhi. For example, "hey your gay and sikh, so its allowed in sikhism...etc". I dont want that. Sikhi has and always will be an integral part of me. I can and will not let people associate my actions with those of sikhi. Similar to a kesdhari drinking or smoking or hanging out in brothels etc. I would never do that. So i guess what im asking is, what should i do? Please dont give me quotes and preaching etc sorry but its no use trying to talk me out of my sexuality. Try not being straight. Live and let live. Thank you.
  19. I was a Singh for about 3/4 years and had been blessed enough to take amrit, it was hard but I managed for a year or so.. but suddenly everything changed, how I thought about things, the things I done. I was smoking, drinking, having sex. I thought I didn't believe anymore, i thought long and hard for 5/6 months and so Like a pappu I cut my kes. my Singh friends pushed me away but afew are still close but I can't even look at them without feeling bad. It's been 2/3 years since and iv always had this feeling deep down inside that I cannot explain. I look back and think what a TW@T, what have I done. I think about what I have done and cry. I left everything that was good and now I'm here.. I haven't felt the same since. I can't keep hiding my emotions anymore I need help and adivce. I was a son of a guru ji and now I'm nothing. I feel like i want to become a singh again but i just cant do it without knowing if im 100% i dont know what i would do if i done something like this again, I don't even know what to say anymore. Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense, it's been hard for me to explain. Thnx Vaheguru ji ki Khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh
  20. Advice Needed Quickly

    What is the best way to control kaam ie the m word? Help this sinner pls
  21. Help For A Writer

    Hello everyone, I'm a writer looking for some help on Sikh names for a forthcoming short story. This forum looks like a friendly place with lots of helpful people, so I thought it'd be a good place to post my question! My story is a science fiction tale set in the far future, and a lot of the characters in it are descendants of Sikh heritage. The hero of my story is a scholar of ancient texts - both holy and historical - and the people of his city come to him for help when no-one else will help them. I need a name that kind of sums up his character. He's learned and quick-thinking. He's not brave like a warrior, but his curiosity to learn more about the unknown, and his devout faith, mean that he does things that others perceive as very brave indeed. Imagine him almost like a Sikh Sherlock Holmes - always thinking, always alert and always ready to use his wits to battle evil and corruption. Any suggestions for a good name for him? Either first name or surname. Thanks in advance, Mark PS. As this is a religious forum, I would like to point out that I have the greatest respect for all world religions, and the story will not portray any religion or religious group in a poor light. It's purely a work of fantasy.
  22. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh This will sound quite petty to most people but I'm sure some kaurs can relate. I'm nineteen years old, I took amrit when I was fourteen and I tie a dastar and have always been strict with my rehat. However, I've begun to struggle. While I still religiously get up to do my nitnem and am strict on what I consume, what music I listen to etc., I'm struggling with bana. I love my dastar, but I'm falling back into my old ways of wanting to wear quirky jewellery and accessories and nail polish. I'm an artist so I am heavily pulled towards self expression, and the people I spend time with encourage me to do this, and I can't stop spending time with them because I'm at uni with them. This sounds petty, but for those of you who have been strict with your rehit and bana, you'll understand how desperately I want to keep my rehat, but I also want to express myself outwardly, not just as a sikh, but as myself, unique. I would very much appreciate any ideas, words of wisdom or little faith boosting comments from any sisters. Sorry if this sounds petty, but I want to feel expressive, unique, happy and free without giving up my rehat.
  23. Punjab holiday

    maybe going holiday to punjab soon, jalandhar phagwara area, but very worried about going as i have health problems, and not sure wat to expect once i get there, although will be staying with family but worried. could somebody plz answer my worries and queries? 1. where can i get dried food like in uk, eg: cereals, bread etc? groceries, jalandhar phagwara area? 2. is the bottled water okay to drink there, as heard some stories even that is tampered with. 3. When going to gurdwaras i guess its okay to have langar? As i will be eating mostly at home and try not to eat from outside. 4. When going to Harmandir Sahibji any facilities for people with disabilities or reduced mobility? 5. How would i go about booking a room at Harmandir Sahib ji, how long in advance or better to book once i get there, and wat is provided with the room, eg: washing facilities? bed? 6. is the milk okay to drink or any special instructions? 7. Any further info for when travelling to Hazoor Sahib ji, not sure if going yet, but if i do will be with a sevadar from there, so accomodation may not be a problem, but any other info will be appreciated. 8. Anything else I may need to know during my stay there? 9. Anything precautions i would need to take when going there, or things i should not do to respect th places i will be visiting. dependin on time would like to go to Baba Budhaji's gurdwara and wherever Waheguru allows me to go, and depends on who will take me and time and my health, and length of journey. 10. Any Sikhi-related places worth visiting near jalandhar phagwara area that i may not know of? Any advise would be gratefully appreciated, also going after long time so very nervous. Thankuji Sangat ji...
  24. Some members of the sikhsangat.com may already be aware of this. HM Prison Ford (informally known as Ford Open Prison) is a Category D men's prison, located in West Sussex, England. Within the prison is a Chaplaincy which is used by all faith groups. Within the prison chaplaincy is a section where the permanent parkash of Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj is kept. The section is set up with a tabya, cushions, rummala, canopy as you would expect. However, the sewa only takes place once a week on Thursdays, when the actual parkash of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji’s Saroop is carried out. The rest of the week Maharaj’s saroop is in Sukhasan. It is evident to many of us that there are massive concerns of Satkaar around this whole set up, not just around the issue of weekly parkash, but whether Maharaj’s saroop needs to actually be there. The Sikh Chaplaincy Service (SCS) part of the NSO (http://www.nsouk.co.uk/members.htm) do a great seva in ensuring the UK Prison service have Sikh support across the country. HM Prison Ford is just one of the many prisons SCS provide Chaplin seva to. The Granthi Singh comes from Gurdwara Nanaksar in Portsmouth every Thursday to the prison to carry out the weekly Sikh service during when prakash of Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaj is carried out. The issue here is about whether it is acceptable or unacceptable to have Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj’s Saroop in UK prisons, particularly around the issue of Satkaar. Firstly, we are not sure on the consumption of meat, alcohol, tobacco, drugs on the complex. Secondly, the parkash sewa is not carried out on a daily basis, so the question arises whether Maharaj’s saroop needs to be there. The number of Sikh inmates in Ford prison is not clear. The above issue has been known to many members of the sangat for over a month now, but the issue has received mixed opinions to the extent that it now seems to have become a “non-issue”. There have been a number of formal dialogues between different members of the Sangat (including Satkaar Campaign) with Sikh Chaplaincy Service, the Granthi, prominent Sikhs, various Prabhandaks around the country, Sikh Council UK and even the Governor of the Prison. But nothing has really materialised. Now it’s time to ask the aam Sangat of what their opinion is? To many of us the set up does not seem right and it feels a beadbi is taking place. However to others, particularly some “influential” Sikhs, there seems to be no issue or the issue is too high profile to tackle as it involves the HM Prison Service and Lord Inderjit Singh, Chairman of the NSO (who run the Sikh Chaplaincy Service). What’s the Sangat’s opinion? Please give some input as the elders and jathebhandis aren’t really providing any direct guidance? Below are some exerts from SGPC Rehit Maryada and other Akal Takht directives: Aadesh from Sri Akal Takth Sahib on protocol from Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji, letter reference 3/12/3609 dated 24th January 2012: “…The Guru Granth Sahib should be opened, read and closed ceremonially with reverence in in order to prevent any disrespect…” Sikh Rehit Maryada, Section Three, Chapter IV, Article V. “.... The place where it is installed should be absolutely clean. An awning should be erected above. The Guru Granth Sahib should be placed on a cot measuring up to its size and overlaid with absolutely clean mattress and sheets. For proper installation and opening of the Guru Granth Sahib , there should be cushions/pillows appropriate kind etc. and, for covering it, romalas (sheet covers of appropriate size). When the Guru Granth Sahib is not being read, it should remain covered with a romala. A whisk too, should be there…” Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji must not be taken into any environment where alcohol, meat and tobacco will be consumed or served. This Hukamnama Religious Order) was issued in 1998 and specifically states: “...This Hukamanama instructs that Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji (Sikh Holy Scriptures treated as the living Guru) must not be taken to a hotel, banqueting suite, club, pub, bar etc as this is direct abuse to Sikh Principles. Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji must not be present where alcohol, meat or tobacco is served or consumed…”