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Saw an advert for matrimonial website "Lavaan" on instagram. Is any one using it? First time I'd heard of it.

Its been couple of years since my marriage. In this few years I have blessed by guru sahib with a cute lil son . With my not-so-much salary , and my mom a housewife , and an old weakened father on the brink of retirement , I am seriously beginning to wonder what to do ahead. My wife has completed her B.A (bachelor in arts), a degree traditionally believed to be of little value lol. It doesn't seem she's interested in pursuing higher education. She used to work in a shop before marriage as she hails from a rural , poor family. But she's passionate about one thing . Hairstyling and cosmetics . Infact, before she turned pregnant, she had a short training at local parlor , and from what I heard from her, even the owner lady of the parlor was very happy with her work, and often asking her to do more . However my concern is Is hair-styling/salon a respectable job. I have my reservations against it, because it kind of intermingles or on boundaries with other lesser respectable and shady areas like SPA (heard sex rackets happening there with 'special massage' lol ?) or bollywood celebrity make ups. yes the rotten t's into illicit sex and drugs. I being a closeted guy , and my wife not knowing about my sexuality, am deeply concerned about her spoiling if she started going out. I don't know how justified my fears are, but considering I live in mumbai which is like london of UK (my approx analogy). Its like right now I feel I want my wife to earn and be my support or atleast be independent woman on her own. I asked her don't give me your salary, keep it to yourself ,just want her to be independent, but at the same time I fear her being spoiled or someone locally who thinks I am gay spoiling her intentionally. you never know. Please advice

Hi, Is anyone able to recommend sikhi matrimonial sites/apps as i'm struggling currently. Looking for Sehajdhari/Amritdhari women. I know Shaadi.com is taken the mick out of but has anyone used or would recommend? Thanks for any replies in advance.

Wjkk wjkf Need some advice, I am NRI female in my 30s. After years of looking for Gursikh matches without success, my family and I decided to get ardaas done with keshdari Sikh. I didn’t know much bout him but figured him keeping his Kesh in Mona household reflected some level of respect and courage of sikhi. Planning our marriage, I have come to know more about him and how different our Sikh values really are (including knowing the fundamentals of basic Gurmukhi and gurbani). Question is how can couples grow together if they have differences in appetite to attain Gursikh jeevan? Is there a way to create a respectful harmony or am I dreaming? This is not a new issue I know, but would appreciate tips and learning from the couples on how they can bridge the gap to build a healthy relationship and hopefully align and merge on a Gursikh path? wjkk wjkf

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji Ki Fateh I am a 20 year old girl living in Canada with my parents. A few years ago, we went to visit family back in India where I met my childhood bestfriend who I grew up playing with (they were our neighbors). When I came back to Canada, we started talking and became really close. When my parents found out I talk to him, they got extremely mad, threatened to kick me out of the house, and said I was gonna ruin their “izzat” in society. I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. I only lived in India for a few years of my life so how is this wrong? My dad says that everyone in same pind are siblings... but we are not related in any way, I am pretty sure my grandparents moved to this pind when they were younger from another place. I have been talking to him for 2 years now and we are each other’s happy place. I don’t know how I get my parents to understand, I have no one to talk to about this. Don’t know what to do. Just found this page, someone please help :(

There doesn't appear to be any decent platforms for meeting people these days and no one seems willing to suggest people. Where are we supposed to begin?

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh I am an amritdhari singh and I got married to an amritdhari dumala tying girl just 6 months ago. I consider myself a beginner in terms of sikhism and I got baptised just a year ago and still trying to adapt. However, I am always trying to be better sikh. Anyways, coming back to my marriage, first couple of months were great. However, after that, I got to know about my wife's previous relationship which ended few years ago as she said the guy was abusive and did not trust her. At that time, she was not baptised and the guy was a hindu. But the fact that she did not talked about this before our marriage has really left an impact on me. Even after she getting baptised, she used to talk <banned word filter activated> with some guys, although she says she was never with anyone physically after that relationship. This whole incident has affected me badly and now I am going through anxiety and depression. Every few days, I find a reason or go back in past and have arguments. It gets so bad that I keep thinking about ending my life. The fact that I married an amritdhari girl and then I learn about all this really makes me wonder what god has planned for me and what should I believe in anymore. Just yesterday, she was listening to some punjabi song that had alcohol reference and I told her to not listen to such songs but she said she can't change herself because of me and that if I wanted to control, I should have married someone else. Having said that, we both love each other very much, at least when I am not having anxiety attacks. But I don't know what to do now. It seems like we have different ideologies when it comes to sikhism even though we are both amritdhari. I can't get out of depression and keep going back in past and this is ruining my life and my marriage. No matter how much I try to live in present, somehow I end up in same painful spot. I don't want to be bad sikh, but I am really struggling and don't know what to do. I don't want to disclose her past to anyone in the family, so can't even talk to anyone. That's why I am here. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you so much.

Sat sri akal ji I am a sikh boy from punjab and now studying in germany. I have haircut. My only question is can I marry a nihang singhni ji. Please forgive me if I asked anything wrong. I really love our religion and want to marry a complete sikh girl and in future I will also become complete sikh but not now as I am a student rite now and can’t follow sikhism fully. Please advice me

I am married to a man who takes all his emotions out on me, he is always hostile and angry. When I met him he told me his family were the problem, but now I have realised it is him, he treats me how he treated them, just always being rude, not a supportive bone in his body. He doesn’t want to change and never feels guilty for me always crying. He loves to drink again doesn’t want to stop even if that makes him more moody too. I wish I never married him, I feel so alone and stuck as I also have children. Everyone thinks he is really nice because I’m the emotional punchbag but no one sees this outside. I met him on a birthday party at a bar and dated him and I think to myself did I bring this upon myself and was I meant to go down a different path and marry someone else who would have lived a more Gursikh lifestyle. Marrying him has been the biggest regret, he has brought my sikhi down, now I am trying to not let him get in the way of it again even though he will complain when I get up for Amrit vela etc. If I didnt have kids I would have divorced him a long time. I just feel so stuck. It’s either stick with it or be a single parent.

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I a hindu (sindhi) man want to marry my fiance who is a sikh,in a Gurudwara is it possible?

Hi, So there's a possibility of marrying a girl from India but i'm not sure entirely. Has anyone been through this recently? How much savings do you need? How long would it take for the girl to come over etc.. If anyone has any info it would be appreciated. Thanks in advance

Nri Punjabi marries a dalit slum dweller.

I am 23 and i want to get married but the problem is that I can't find the type women I am looking for here. I want a girl who dresses modestly isn't into partying one who enjoys books helping her mother etc the girls in my area are not like this and are all into parties and functions and being all show offy. Does anybody here have similar problwms?

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji i am 26 n a half year old and my parents are looking forward to my marriage.. it has been 3 years they have been looking but i am looking forward to amritdhari boy, my parents are not much supportive of this. I met couple of boys in the past but no one was ready, i also have this fear that what if i marry to someone having completely different lifestyle than me because i am keen to move forward in sikhi and not step back.. i am non amritdhari but want to go forward in sikhi, recently i came across one family they said that you can take amrit but after 6 months or a year. Boy isn't recently ready but he says that maybe by seeing me he will too get into this but that would require quite a time. what should i do ji it seem very difficult to decide ?

Hi, I am a 27-year-old guy from Delhi. I am Hindu by birth. I have been following and practising Sikhism since long. I love going to Kirtan Samagams and very much into AKJ Kirtans. I love baani. I have this wish to marry a Sikh girl someday so that we can go to Kirtan Smagams together, practise Sewa and Simran and so on. I don't think that will be possible if I marry someone who does not know what baani is. Is this fine? Can I marry a Sikh girl being a Hindu?

I am from a Sikh family and he is from a Punjabi Hindu family. We are both doctors working in New Zealand and have been together for 4 years. His family is supportive whereas my dad is extremely angry and wants us to break up. He says he will never approve. Me and my partner are both very open minded, easy going, believe in god and have immense respect for our faiths. I have no idea what to do. The stress is taking a toll. Any help would be appreciated

SSA everyone, I am looking for a company/professional matchmaker. Looking for someone either in Canada or India. I work about 6 months a year and do travel on and off within those 6 months., hence the choice of 2 locations.

In our faith or in Sikh culture is there a structure in the household? Is man/husband the head of the house? During the lavaan/phere the man walks at front and leads the way. In kalki avtaar, when guru ji is describing how humanity will fall and go wrong, guru ji says men will stop respecting their parents and will come under their womans control. In most Punjabi houses the female/wife is the head of the house these days (probably why everything is going wrong, men have forgotten their responsibilities) What does Sikhi say about this? is the man supposed to be the head of the house?

Hi, i have been married for 8 years, we are both gursikhs- amrit dhari with two lovely boys. We just don’t seem to get along. My husband is a very good man but somehow believes money is maya, maya =bad. I am ambitious and want a good lifestyle- big house etc. Every time I bring it up he calls me money minded and greedy and occasionally jealous. Is there any paath/shabad I can recite to have more understanding between us. Something I can maybe do on the go with the boys? Looking forward to some advice. Also please don’t tell me to divorce etc as this is my second marriage and I want it to work as I do love my husband very much but somehow our thinking dosnt seem to match anymore. Any shabad I can do to improve our relationship would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

VJKK, VJKF! With Waheguru Ji's kirpa I have been blessed with Amrit recently. I am getting used to the change in my life so far and it's been a great journey, however, I am starting to feel the pressures of marriage. I just turned 25 years old and my family is saying I should start looking now before it's too late, but whenever someone from Sangat introduces me to another Singh, the topic of kes comes up. They want me to break my rehat and shave before marriage. This is something I am not willing to do and never will do, but the pressures of marriage and finding the right life partner is becoming hard. My whole family is not devoted to Sikhi, just a few of us, so it's even more difficult. Another challenge is education. Everyone wants me to find someone with a degree, job and living at home in Canada. Any advice anyone can give would be great.

VJKK, VJKF! With Waheguru Ji's kirpa I have been blessed with Amrit recently. I am getting used to the change in my life so far and it's been a great journey, however, I am starting to feel the pressures of marriage. I just turned 25 years old and my family is saying I should start looking now before it's too late, but whenever someone from Sangat introduces me to another Singh, the topic of kes comes up. They want me to break my rehat and shave before marriage. This is something I am not willing to do and never will do, but the pressures of marriage and finding the right life partner is becoming hard. My whole family is not devoted to Sikhi, just a few of us, so it's even more difficult. Another challenge is education. Everyone wants me to find someone with a degree, job and living at home in Canada. Any advice anyone can give would be great.

Would you marry someone who has already had s3x with other people ? I wouldn't because I have never had sex before and will wait for marriage. It's also gurus hukkam to only have physical relations within marriage MODS don't delete this thread.

I wanted to ask what if someone is in love with their love of their life. Then she gets married to someone else and cheats after the marriage many times with the affair. Does Waheguru forgive such a sin? Can it be forgiven when the human is in deep regret and suffers from their mistake daily (she gets depression) and prays daily, visits the gurdwara, and also wants to take amrit. Will this sin vanish then? Will Waheguru love this human still? Or should she forget to be a sikh and prepare herself to go to hell?

Sorry long post but please read!!!!!!! Bit of a background of my cousin: He’s 23 and just qualified as a solicitor, he took Amrit when he was younger (19) he went to hazur sahib and came back as a Singh, never told us what really changed him he kept it gupt. I must admit we were all shocked as before that he was always going out late partying and getting into trouble. He is a very smart Singh - Him and his father have gone to our grandmother (her mother was a gori lol) and they are very fair skinned with hazel eyes, basically look Greek as they have that facial structure/ jawline as well. I was very shocked when he told me about his to be fiancé as he was very religious and ties a gol dastar. Now to the point Through the duration of uni and on insta I saw him with girls and when I confronted him he said they were just friends and I believed him. Now it turns out the latest girl I saw him with (he’s only been with 2 I know of through uni) he’s about to get engaged to her!!! she’s not amrit nor sehajdhari she doesn’t cover her hair and wears make up. Imagine this, when he showed the family her pic they were all very happy and said she was very pretty all ignoring the fact that she’s not amritdhari. Our family isn’t reallly religious only 4 women including me are amritdhari (his mum and dad aren’t amritdhari), she may be very pretty but I’m sure this goes against rehat. I talked to my mum about this and she said that it don’t matter as there are couples where only one partner is amritdhari and the other isn’t and they still last. She said that she’s very pretty and he’s very good looking as well and they look good together, I told her that there are pretty amritdhari girls out there as well and I said LOOKS ARENT EVERYTHING she then got angry and told me to drop it as I’m going to cause trouble in the family - classic desi answer to shut someone up. My dad basically said the same thing - linking it to Jagmeet Singh saying they got married so what’s wrong with it. Is this going against rehat - I’m so confused I always thought it was. She’s coming down next week to meet his mum and dad so it looks serious, I don’t want to look like a trouble causer please help! I want to confront him with facts so please give me points I can say. The looks point everyone in my family is making is so stupid, basically saying that good looking people can sin and get away with it it’s so annoying!!!!!!