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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh I am in my mid 20's and I do a lot of Paath and don't drink smoke no meat etc but i have been distrubed by kaam also at the same time. Iwant to take amrit and be a Gursikh but i am waiting for jobwise career to be better first. Well every time i am on my laptop i get cravings to look .........edited........... i feel really bad afterwoods and feel like a big paapi. I do ardas and go to Gurdwara and do metha tak and say i will never do it again but i end up failing and in the same trap again. Another thing that has been with me is that I have been a Virgin all my life never had a girlfriend or kiss. But I sometimes just wanna pay a blonde escort for a one time session and then it would be out of my system. However i worry by doing this i feel develop a addication like drugs smoking. i know it is wrong what i am writting and but i keep telling myself that this wrong. Ever since i remember is that i have a had a liking towards blondes but i don't want to marry one cos i act like a Gursikh and i get respect from friends about it. But i feel like this unfulfilled sexual desire is destroying me from time to time. Everytime i am outside i see a blonde girl i get exicted but i also tell myself that is wrong according to Gurbani Sangat Ji what should i do ? I know it is wrong to have sex before marriage and its a sin but i can't help thinking about it and viewing this flith online. Any advice and tips would be very very helpful Thanks