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Everything posted by Big_Tera

  1. How common is it to break of an engagement? To cut a long story short. I am in India currently I rushed into a marriage. at the time I was 100% certain of the marriage. But looking back I did not take enough time when considering the marriage. I also did not even speak to the girl. Anyways I have found out she might have skin problem on her hands. What should I do. I am in the usual situation. Of letting everyone down again. If I break it off. But wont it be a bigger tging If I break it off after the marriage. I am being pressured into it. Help Currently I have gone through with the Shagun. The marriage is tommorow. All preparations are in place for the marriage tommorow. I made it quite clear I do not wanna go through. But was given the usual black mail treatment. Of making the girls side angry. And causing big problems. Ie I just feel it will better if I break it off now. As it will be 100 times worse if I break it off after the wedding. I am not sure how the engagement system worka out in india. I have heard some say that its common to break of the marriage after the engagment(shagun) if you find out that ypu dont like the family or if you find something out you dont like. Obviously being from the uk and marrying someone from I India. I have to be 100% sure. At the moment everyone seems so happy. I think the only way of dealing with this. Is doing a runner and not turning up at the marriage. I dont want to destroy this girls life. I mean its going cause problems for everyone if I break it off at this stage.
  2. Divorce in Sikhism

    With the divorce rate ever increasing. What does Sikhism say about divorce? Also how many divorced women end up marrying non Sikhs? I have heard of many stories of how women from our community say they have been mistreated by 'Sikh' husbands and their families. So then turn to non Sikhs. Also is divorce a problem of modern society.
  3. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    So you think this is jokem Shows the age of your brain. Which is probably still in single units.
  4. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    Go <banned word filter activated> your mum. you son of a <banned word filter activated>.
  5. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    going back to the main question. Is breaking off marriage after the shagun(engagement) common in india?
  6. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    There more to it then the skin problem. I did not even get a chance to speak to the girl. I just went on family recommendation. Hence now I think I made a mistake. I have taken a gamble on something. Why should I risk everything just to please everyone else. I have seen people who divorce which is alot worse.
  7. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    So you think its best to not pick up a girl from india. And end the marriage. thus destroying the girls life. instead of ending it at the engagement stage?
  8. How important is height

    how is important is height in terms of finding a marriage partner. I have seen some ristas. One of them I was happy with. The only thing was the height factor. She was exactly 5 feet tall. Not only that she had a slight build and was very thin. I am average height 5.10. I have always been encouraged to find a tall girl for marriage. But is that very important? My main concern although she was very pretty is that being very short and petite it did not make her appear healthy. Also was worried if that may affect her fertility being on the thin and short side. I dont mind short girls. up to about 5 ft 2 and above. But is 5ft to small? Anyone got and advice when it comes to height. Or is height not that important and its the personality that counts. Incidentally she had a smiley and fun type personality. I found the taller girls more laid back and serious types.
  9. Divorce in Sikhism

    I am waiting for doaba to say. 'Is divorce over rated'
  10. Hindunised Sikhs

    Having visited India. I remember talking to a few Sikhs. Who said that they did not consider themselves Sikhs. But more Hindu. Even though they were born Sikh. They said being in India. They were surrounded by mostly hindus, mandirs and what not. Mostly hindu festvials, culture and traditions. In essence they said they regarded themselves more Hindus. Their friends were hindus. the neighbours were hindus. The language they had to speak was hindi apart from talking to their family members. Is this common In india. btw I am talking from speaking to these people from big cities away from Punjab. Such as mumbai, dehli, calcutta ect. They also did hindu pilgrimages and had mata photos. How can we stop this from happening. This is nothing against hinduism. Hindus are great peoople with a great religion and culture. But under no circumstances should people be trying to mix Hindu beliefs and traditions with Sikhism. If you are a hindu be a hindu if your are a sikhs be a sikh. but dont go mixing it up. Trying to be some swami yogi man. that belives in everything. Its a great shame to see hindunised sikhs. That are confused and deluded.
  11. Having lived in various areas around the uk. Such as predominatly white middle class areas to mixed asian areas. And also areas with high muslim population. I have thought about moving to a Sikh area. Are these areas better to live in? The only Sikh area I know is southall in west london. Would these areas be better for families. My experience in muslim areas. Is that the muslim kids are usually into crime be it drugs, fraud and are generally scum type people. They also seem to be religiously extreme and hate non muslims. You also feel like you dont belong. Its usually full of cheap chicken and chip shops and halal butchers. Having said that I have lived in middle class mixed asian areas were the muslims have been decent honest and succesfull with decent jobs and occupations. Which area is best. I know that deep down its not the area but the person. For instance if your not happy in the first place. changing areas is not going to make you happy. But if your happy to begin with then you will be happy living in any area. from mongolia to australia. But have never experiwnced living in a Sikh area.
  12. Moving to a Sikh neighbourhood

    I dont think so. What attracts muslims is mosques, halal butchers and other muslims. I agree mulims see the world plainly. You are either with them or against them. Hence why they only mix amongst each other. This is why some areas are virtually 100% muslim. They love to be amongst their own. Us Sikhs cant stand one another and love to be amonst white people instead. Where we can induldge in golf, tea and a day at ascot race course. We are just a coconutised bunch.
  13. Moving to a Sikh neighbourhood

    That is a good point. I remember driving around green street at midday. With a white work colleague. He remarked how there were so many people on the high street at this time of day and if any of these people had jobs. Muslims are known as benefit scroungers with many doing illegal activities such as fraud and cab driving to increase their income. Is it any wonder muslims have a higj prison population. The sad thing is young girls are attracted to bad boy criminal types as they love the danger and living on the edge. Then they end up living in some squalid flat, become muslims and outcasts.
  14. Moving to a Sikh neighbourhood

    Whats wrong with family comming over for some chai and quick gossip? Wheres your hospitality? Guests/ family should always feel welcome to come round. Are you the sort that would turn away guests? You will move to another area just to avoid people comming to your house? I remeber when I went to the pindh. I was offered tea and a place to stay for free. Yet you cant even let someone come over for 10 minutes.
  15. Moving to a Sikh neighbourhood

    The reason there are no Sikh areas or 'strong holds' like muslims have is because Sikhs are spread out all over the UK. Hence theres no single area where Sikhs are in huge numbers. Muslims be it pakistanis or bengalis live in ghettosised and deprived areas mostly in council owned properties and estates. They are more of a close knit community. They know, no one likes muslims so they feel like the only place they belong is in muslim ghettos were they feel safe and protected. Especially as they stand out with their skull caps and hijabs. Sikhs by and large are not a united community to begin with. Everyone is out for themselves instead of looking out for one another. We form many different castes. Which are divided and dont mix with each other. What we need to do is create Sikh areas. this way our community will be much stronger. If we are united and form sikh strongholds we will be feared. At the moment Sikhs are too thinly scattered all over the uk. There are a few Sikh pockets but it is not enough. Hence one of the reasons I was thinking of moving to a more Sikh populated area.
  16. Moving to a Sikh neighbourhood

    Birmingham is not bad. Just need to get used to the midland accents and dialects lol
  17. Hindunised Sikhs

    It seems like they are suceeding. Theres so many fake cults and sects in India. So many people are just greedy only wanting money. I recently met a Sikh that does many pilgramages to mandirs and hindu shrines across India. This guy had turban and beard on aswell.. I was like get a grip. when was the last time you been to do a pilgramage or visited the golden temple? So many fake wannabe Hindus In India. So many fools tarnishing the image of Sikhs. By all means if You wanna do all these hindu rituals and beliefs then become a hindu. Dont carry on wearing the turban and disreapecting the Sikh faith.
  18. inter-caste marriage

    I dont believe in caste. But neverless being realistic person. We know what kind of problems this can cause. We all know that 99% of Parents want their child to marry someone of the same community/caste whatever you want to call it. What kind of problems can arise from inter caste marriages. Can it cause friction. With both families feeling uncomfortable with each other as they may have different way of doing things. Some issues are. Bhatra tend to be more conservative wheras jatt ramgaria let their girls go clubbing, wear revealing clothes and let their kids marry white and other races alot more. Anyone think it can work? and how would they feel if their offspring married someone of another caste.
  19. Singh Attacked

    Lol one person gets attacked and we have 5 pages worth of diagnosis. It shows what muslims have done that they have put you in so much confusion.
  20. Singh Attacked

    Give this guy a break. He was heavily outnumbered. 7 against 1. no amount of martial arts bruce lee. ia going to get you out of this situation. Best thing would have been to try and run away. Then get these b@stards back another day.
  21. https://blog.sivanaspirit.com/buddhism-and-hinduism/
  22. wedding dillema

    So I broke off a an egagement And now Im trying to do it again. but now that trust is broken. not sure how I can reeasure the other party except give my word that it wont happen again. this is in india btw. Any ideas how I can get thia marriage back on track.
  23. That is the excuse christians and islam uses. A true believer is one who seeks knowledge himself of other faiths. By all means if someone asks you can tell them. But under no circumstances must you try and convert others. That is the one of the fundemental beliefs in Sikhism. We must never try and convert. Sikhs believe everyone has freedom to believe or not believe.
  24. Amritsar Gurdwara

    Why is the Amritsar gurdwara the most holy shrine in Sikhism? From my understanding the Gurdwara itself is quite newly built. As it was repeatedly attacked several times and had to be rebuilt over again many times. hence the original Gurdwara that was first built would have looked completley different to what it is now. When it was most recenctly built by Ranjit Singh. Are other Gurwaras not more important or historical in terms of history. Also having visted the Amritsar recently. I was saddened to see shops selling hindu god pictures along with the Gurus pictures.This was just outside the Gurdwara complex. On side note I personaly dont see the point with having all these pictures of gurus. God is not contained in any picture or murti.