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About followthelight

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    Aae Mil Gursikh Aae Mil
  1. Granddaughter and Grandmother relationship struggle

    Everyone's responses are so full of love and stuff... so selfless... I am not anywhere near that... I wish I had that much love that my heart was so full I could forever just keep sharing with others e.g. bibi. She is pretty amazing for what she does. I always do things for selfish reasons lol... even sikhi wise... bcos katha, naam simran etc helps me end of day. Whenever around family am never myself, always on edge abt how much to let them in. Seems like cycles of hibernation, come out and act and then hibernate again. I will appreciate her more tho... posts of regret and stuff got to me... thanks for everyone's advice. Really appreciate. Hopefully i can learn with a pinch rather than slap in the face
  2. Gurfateh ji, I am in my early 20's and don't get along with my grandma. she really knows how to get under my skin. She's not even like an evil grandma or anything. Just a normal everyday bibi. She is always lingering, nagging to do housework. She's super negative towards my dad and muttering under her breathe. On top of that she is amritdhari without any understanding of gurmat which really annoys me. Wears kakkar but will never teach me punjabi or sit down have gurmat vichaar or want to change mentality. Yet she will end every conversation with "Challo, Vaheguru de hatha vich ee aa" reluctantly after 1 hr of being unsatisfied about her life. I feel guilty for wanting to do things my own way; hermit zone, listen to kirtan and katha and do chores separate (I concentrate better + chores done quicker). I don't want to talk to bibi as I find most content unnecessary. Her whole life is about housework and revolves around that so I be formal and respectful but that's it. I have to force myself to talk for her mental wellbeing so she doesn't feel alone. Then I feel drained personally, feeling spiritually empty/ disconnected cos havn't had enough katha/ kirtan/ vichaar/ sangat to remind of real purpose. Even if we don't talk, it's like she is always sending negativity towards me. (?Idk if going crazy). If someone is an elder I don't automatically respect them. If they have gian, gurmat, positivity then I do truely love and respect them, regardless if blood relationship or not. But if all that has been collected in negativity, hypocrisy then I have no need/ desire to respect bcos i seek more than that. I also lowkey resent that she never passed on knowledge e.g. about punjabi, meanings of gurbani cos she doesn't know. It's just about mundane things like making sabji... which sorry bibi, I know it's your life purpose but for me I know and can make it and that's it. I don't need to talk about daal sabji, housework etc to fill out my day. And then this contaminates my own sikhi cos look at me now... I am unsatisfied and complaining about another human being. It's taking away from my life, where this energy should be focused on Vaheguru. I don't want to end up like my family and put housework etc before sikhi. It's like a mix of hormones, generational differences in thinking, spiritual ego of mine, cultural guiltyness for not respecting elders, and no1 lack of experience in grist jeevan skills. Please help. Some insight to how to establish some sort of common ground? Anyone have similar experiences or am I the only rotten'' child?
  3. I really want to marry an amrithari man.

    so you want someone who is religious and will bring you up, but u urself won't be. therefore you can't help him up.... that sounds selfish. if i was an amrithdari man i would want an amritdhari women so that she would also bring me up and keep rehit. be honest with yourself why u want a religious man; being lazy in own spiritual path?
  4. Changes as an Amritdhari

    On a personal level you will gain whole new depth with continued harvesting of Naam. On a societal level you will feel more confused than ever before. I have too been so let down by quality of 'amritdhari' people. Go to have discussions about Gurmat, gurbani etc but majority people I have met still talk about wordly things just with a sikh-twist to it. E.g. new clothes to new chola. nice haircut to nice dumalla. Nice songs to nice kirtan. So superificial it's draining. hold on to Guruji, only they can give us gian and buddi to navigate in this world and find true sangat. That is no1 reason for people not being able to stick to commitments- lack of real sangat. Enough of being debbie downer, have also met amazing Gursikhs that have just encouraged me and shown me whole new depths of Sikhi. They are so priceless that it really is worth sifting through all the junk to find them (I am part of the junk too) I probs felt more in touch with Sikhi prior to meeting all these so called guru valle, they have confused me but am slowly getting back to path of dharam, maharajs kirpa
  5. Don't be disheartened veere, this world and the people are blinded by outward appearances and don't spend enough time meditating to see each other as jots; equal , one. You keep focusing on bani and when Guru ji wants, then they will aap put you to their seva. Meanwhile keep khojing bani everyday and try to create small focus groups with people around you so can have gurmat vichaar on weekly basis. Doing katha at a Gurdwara will always have restrictions.
  6. I really want to marry an amrithari man.

    You can't expect to be in a perfect marriage until you are connected and in strong relationship with your Creator first. Otherwise anand karaj will be another ritual. Keep focusing on bani, watch katha, learn kirtan. The more you immerse yourself in Sikhi the more likely you will find an amritdhari partner. But don't go to Guruji asking for a partner. Should ask for Naam. Then your energy will be more likely to attract other beautiful energy also connected to the One. We have youtube now so can learn heaps (probably learn more than can at Gurudwara these days unfortunately) Rather than feeling in between two different worlds, question yourself whats holding you back from committing to Guruji/ vice versa?
  7. It'll take time to get used to it but so many benefits, keep it up. No more pain, in growns or scabs. As above mentioned, menstrual cups are the new go to... don't even need to wear other underwear underneath. Tampons are good too (unless you have strong feelings against these) Then stick with pads and keep baby wipes with you (much cheaper and sensitive on skin in comparison to makeup wipes etc). You will feel superr refreshed. Also you can always just wipe with toilet paper and water.
  8. I work in the health field. Used to believe am lucky because in my job can make people happy, make the most of their lives etc. But as per Gurbani without Naam, all other types of happiness are transitory. Once we die you could even say it was pointless. So really... whether I make people happy or not, as per workplace, world we live in yes making people happy is greatest thing as per Gurbani- does it really matter? (any shabads re this?) P.S. obvi just can't drop Sikhi into every patient interaction you know, can only focus on myself always being in state of remembrance and praise. Really am just a puppet playing my role X_X
  9. Can a sikh girl marry a hindu boy ?

    My brain hurts reading this. I will try be more alert next time hahaha
  10. Can a sikh girl marry a hindu boy ?

    You won't be able to have an Anand Karaj as that requires two people who are commited only to Guru Granth Sahib Ji. I feel sorry for you that you think marrying someone you like is the highest point of this life. You were born in a sikh family, that too amritdhari. Your children could have been sikh too, you could have led them to the house of Nanak. That same home, that gave you, a woman, the same status as man, a weapon in your hand. The house where the caste system was abolished and you were thought of as a young prince (kaur). You are throwing away this royal lineage of your children (Singh & Kaur) so that you and they can worship idols and complete rituals. If you feel okay with taking that future away from your children... well then no one can stop you.
  11. Doing Paath But No Simran

    I have noticed since adding Gurmantar jaap to my nitnem at amritvela, life is even more blissful. There is something so beautiful and powerful about our Gurmantar. We definitely should take time out to reflect, be grateful and experience the significance of this. Also agree that Gurbani can help get into meditative feels like simran...especially if we do e.g. 10+ Japji sahib per day over a month or so. What motivated me to start Gurmantar simran was someone said what's the point of reading nitnem, sehaj paath, etc? At the end of the day what is said by Sri Guru Granth Sahib over and over again? simple, to remember Waheguru. So why don't we? That made me rethink, hope it helps you out.
  12. I'm Scared Of Dying! What Do I Do?

    Good. Use it to your advantage. I wish I still had the same fear of death I used to have. Motivated me to do something with my life and progress in Sikhi. Be grateful you've been blessed with this. Many pass their lives without even thinking of Death..