@Jacfsing2 forgive me I wasn't clear, I did not mean lie about my caste. I meant I would tell her parents that I am a different caste to them. Only she knows my caste, her parents do not know.
I will read up on some other topics in hope they will help.
@simran345 thank you for linking the basics of sikhi videos, they are a good resource, I use them quite often. I enjoy listening to the naam simran done for their introduction.
It is fustrating because it goes directly against Guru jis teachings. I think the world would be better if more of us took amrit and actually read and followed gurbani.