misskaur

Thank you so much for your replies.. I know that simran and ardaas are the only ways.. All we can do is pray and have faith in waheguru. When I wrote this post I was a complete wreck, desperate and panicky.. After reading these replies I feel a little more laid back and like I said all I can do is pray. Thank you for taking time to read and reply, those few words really can meand a broken heart! xx

Thank you.. We took in a cd player.. as she is in a side room we have the volume turned up, and at the moment there is simran playing, which never stops.. we will be taking a sukhmani saab cd in so we can play that too.. we have also got amrit which we put on her lips. Thank you for your words.. i am happy that not everyone will give up on her.

SSA Brothers and sisters.. I am in desperate need of your prayers for my mum.. I always feel a little cheeky asking for people to pray for me, however this is a desperate situation and I believe the people of this site will pray from within their hearts... 8 weeks ago my mum was well and holidaying in India.. 8 weeks ago I spoke to mum on the phone and she sounded very happy and was enjoying her trip.. the next day I had a phone call early morning to say my mum had had a stroke.. I rushed to be with my brothers and dad in leeds (i live near manchester).. on my arrival my eldest brother told me mum was critical and in a deep coma.. my dad and brother flew out to be by her side.. we (my brother and me) followed a few days later.. she was bad, but by this time was stable.. it was horrible to see her like this, i stayed 10 days (as i'd left my 8 month old baby with my husband).. everyday was a struggle to cope.. everyday we prayed and hoped.. my dad had then arranged for her to be airlifted back to england (thanks to insurance company).. so she's now in Leeds General Infirmary.. Although there is more movement then when I was in India.. she's still no better. She opens one eye and stares at one spot, she shifts her legs and makes mouth movement. We talk to her all the time.. Yesterday her consulatnt sat with us and has said we should decide on what would be best for her.. 1, we were to decide if she stopped breathing (god forbid) do we ressusitate (sp).. 2, long term the consultant see's her the way she is today, he thinks she will not get any better and will stay like this for the rest of her life.. she is completely dependant, he did stress there was no rush for a decision, as there is hope, but very very little hope.. we are not giving up.. The damage done in her brain stem is SEVERE.... but how will I cope if it comes to saying bye... how will I live without my best friend.. the woman I call for advice on everything.. omg.... i'm more scared to how I will deal with life without her rather then actually losing her.. ahh, i feel so selfish.. Now that I am coming to an end on this post, I am thinking, ''why am I writing this''.. but i guess it's because i need support.. I lost my daughter in nov 2005.. that was the worst time ever.. but life went on.. even though i miss her.. but my mum.. well she's my mum.. and i'm scared I won't cope as well.. please please someone help me... help me..please........... don't want her to die!! We as her familty do see improvement, very small improvemnt, but surely these are good signs.. miricals do happen.. don't they!!??!! Please please do ardaad for my mum.. she is a wonderful woman and very very religious.. why do these things happen to good people?????????? One last thing.. my mum's family have had many predictions from saanth's in India.. every one of them have said mum will get better.. so should I believe them?? Would a saanth really know???

Ah yeah, thats true!!! I don't have the sggs ji at mine, but My cousin does.... but anyway.... back to the question by guest :wub: Thanks Balait, I'll remember that next time.

Thank you Pheena... I hear what you are saying... as I was growing up my mother always said to say ''waheguru'' at every possible moment, and I do, when I sneeze, when I laugh at something so much, when I cry, when I just feel like it!! I do feel strange when we have kirtan on whilst hugging, saying that like I said before, I also feel like god is everywhere....but still leaves me feeling strange, iykwim??!! I usually ask my mum questions on sikhi, but don't think i'll ask this one, my mum's my best friend, and although she'd happily answer I wouldn't know which words to ask with!!

Thanks SSM!! Yes it is Mrs, but I've used miss kaur on another sikh site which I used b4 i got wed,....don't worry I am very much married!

OMG...I'm even more embarrased now... I thought this was anonymous!!! Brilliant, now my name's come up!!!

this is embarrasing, but something which is on my mind alot!! I like putting shabads on (sky radio) during the night, I often sleep with them on and wake up to them... now the embarrasing bit... is it bad to be cuddled upto my husband, to kiss him or do anything whilst these are on?? I feel bad switching over if my husband decides to cuddle me throughout the night... I sometimes ask him not to touch me, but surley we're married in the eyes of god and are antitled to hug , shabds on or not...god is always around us..what do you all think???

Awe thank you sis!! I know what you mean about the girl should love her in laws like her parents... but how is that possible? I did have a talk with my mum, she reassured me I am her real baby (lol, i'm 27)... I feel very envious, I hate feeling like that!! I recently lost my daughter, she died at birth and although she didn't see the world, the love I have for her is more than anything and anyone... I don't want to share my mummy (i know, i know, childish) with another girl!!

Feel a little silly writing this.. I just wanted to know your views on it!! Basically my younger brother got married to a girl from india (we're in uk), she is a really nice girl, but i feel like she's totally taken over my family. I live about half hour drive away from my family, I'm married and 6 yrs older than her. I feel really silly and childish, I know it's daft....but I'm the only girl, I have three brothers, now all of a sudden she's calling my parents mum and dad, and claiming she is more important to my mum than i am, she seriously really said that!! although I love my in law's and do call them mum and dad... my parents are my own, and I don't want them to love her more!!! Sorry I know it sounds pathetic... I didn't know who to talk to, as my friends will think i'm silly (which i know i am) and my hubby keeps sayimng she'll never take my place. Do you think she is now more important to them, and i too my in law's??

I want to say thank you for all the messages.. I was in tears reading some of them! I think it is very important for myself and my husband to do this the sikh way. We are not as religious as I'd like us to be, but do go to the gudwara... I do pray everyday, the mool mantra, and during the pregnancy would often play shabads on full volume in the car and house to my baby bump... She would often move closer to the speaker when I had the mool mantra on.. it was like a sign to say she enjoyed it more than the usual r&b! I started to learn more about sikhism thoughout the pregnancy, as I wanted her to learn early on.. My parents are religious, however they didn't really teach us much as children, I really wish I knew so much more! Before I read any replies, I was broken in bits... couldn't hold back my tears..My family too are finding it difficult to cope, however once I read what our Guru ji's had taught us, i felt better... I mean, I would love to believe she is an angel and is watching over us, and will wait for me with god... I think I hold this somewhere in my heart.. I don't understand about the bad karma.. I mean she is a baby...!! I know some of you say that she was innocent and her soul did bhagti.. so then if she did this then surely her sins from a previous life have been washed?? The fate of the baby is entirely up to Vahiguru, I totally believe this..this is what made me feel better. I know she is in safe hands too! The reason I wanted her buried is so I could go to visit her in the baby garden at anytime, I know now that we believe the body is a shell... but i just want to know she's there... I guess I just never planned to arrange a funeral for my child, so it's hard, but I do wish to take flowers and things like that whenever I miss her! Had the Gyanni said she MUST be cremated then I would have arranged this no question about it... but knowing it's for us to decide I prefer the burial! My husband would like her creamated along with his family..but I don't think i can do this! Another thing.. I came home from the hospital yesterday, so the 3 days n hospital, i spent with her body.. I held her and kept her close to me for hours, I gave her back to nurses after a few hours as she needed to be kept in a fridge..i wanted to keep her with me, but i did wonder if this was wrong of me... my mum said I shouldn't keep her body with me as it's not her anymore, but I needed her... I still do! Sorry, i know i am going on..I'm just very much on edge right now...and like I said the messages and shabads really touched my heart.. I feel like your all praying for her kinda thing!! Thank you once again! WJKK WJKF!

SSA all brothers and sisters As you can see from the title here, it's a sad entry, but I need answers to these questions! I wasn't sure where to go or who to ask..right now my parents are too emotional and upset to speak and I don't feel right bombarding them with these questions, although i know they would be happy to answer..maybe all in good time.... I had a baby girl who was born sleeping (still born)! As you can imagine I am totally devestated and finding it difficult to cope. Her funeral is on Dec 1st, now the questions start here.. I was told by the hospital that they will arrange the funeral, i know as a Sikh we must be creamated, but the hospital contacted a gyani at the local gudwara who said because she is still born, upto a certain age a baby can be buried..what does everyone think? I know she is with god, but for how long? Does she have to pass a time to stay in heaven? Will she get older, like year by year or will she stay a baby? Will she come back to me? Will she be watching me? Will she be with my family, who have passed? Some of thses questions sound silly, but I have never known or asked about what we believe about life after death.... please someone help me..i want to do this the proper sikh way and need to know what we should believe! I really hope somebody will help! Thank you in advance. WJKK WJKF

Hiya...am new here, don't know you but wanted to say a big happy birthday, have a good en. xxxx