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About AjeetSinghPunjabi

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    Gur Pooraa Milaavai Mayraa Preetam
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    Civil equality, Gurbani , Kirtan, Sikh history
  1. Your tone is very insensitive ! From which country do you belong ? I am from india and here, a gay man IS a pariah ! and so are lesbians and transgenders ! Century depends on where you live . India is still in 1800's and middle east in middle ages ! And as always, its always easy to belittle someone else's problem.
  2. Mahabharat , one of the two great epics of india , describes the story of fight of two group of cousins : kaurus and pandus . They're half cousins . Kaurus are older and more in number (100) than pandus (just 5). Also kaurus have kingdoms , pandus don't or not that great . Pandus are righteous and humble, but kaurus always stir <banned word filter activated> and want to oppress pandus . So they organize a dice game in which pandus lose everything , including their wife , draupadi. One of the kaurus bring draupadi dragging by her hair in the hall where dice game is being played, because she's now a slave, and tries to strip her naked. Her honor is preserved by divine intervention. Somehow draupadi resolves matter by winning over favor of father of Kaurus . Father of kaurus give pandus everything back. But kaurus are not happy to see they are unable to bully their younger cousins. So they say , pandus have 3 options to resolve conflict 1) war, or 2) dice game , again Pandus play dice game again and now this time they lose, they're supposed to take exile of 12 yrs . So pandus go in exile and kaurus are happy . But after 12 yrs, when mahabharat war happens, pandus win , kaurus die and pandus come to take the throne. So now you must be wondering what this has to do with hindus and sikhs. Well, we can't deny sikh and hindu are both dharmic religions, i.e in a way, we're cousins. So its like sikhs are pandus and hindus are kaurus. Our women folklore's were brutalized by angry hindus in 80's and you can say our community has been in exile (foreign countries and not in homeland punjab as much). So , now war with hindus is remaining and then we take the throne. After winning PS: I am not saying hindus are enemies . Just my imagination running wild lol
  3. I know they mock my faith, but what to say to these hindu-atheists, when my own parents sometimes think I believe too much in god. One day after I got my job, my dad in partly-inebriated state refused that SGGS talks to me and helped me. I went to SGGS again and asked "Oh guru, my father says you didn't help me. Please say yourself" in my ardas and I got gurvaak that day : "Jis ka tan man dhan sab tis ka soi sugadh sujaani, tin hi sunia dukh sukh mera ..." Miracles do happen . But they happen when you least expect them . And this I say from personal experience. I don't mind them mocking my faith in my 'deen-dayaal' (merciful to poor) and also don't mind them mocking my 'deen'ta (poverty , of sexuality and social status). Trust me, all ridicule is worth it if in the end, your lord comes to rescue you . ! And their ridicule proves, faith in god is a gift in itself. PS : Whenever I feel down , I look at stories of draupadi (whose honor was saved by her faith in crowd of dushts) , bibi rajni (married to leper), bhagat prahlaad, bhagat dhroo. Such saakhis give immense peace , even if temporarily.
  4. geez ! disgusting, absolutely.
  5. as you keep sangat, so you become . Its just that your mind should be willing to change sangat without much drama. After all we're all slaves to our minds only
  6. As usual another gem of a post ! Pardon , they're not "friends", but colleagues who sit in my row. I do know those good feelings they feel right now are not eternal. I know these as a logical extension of the fact that no pleasure or pain is permanent. The greatest dukh is stuck in cycle of birth and death and escape from it is only sukh. Despite me giving such "I know" lectures, my heart still says that "why can't I ride on two boats" . Life is a duality really. Right now I can't curb those material, basal feelings but I can atleast focus on paath, thats what I do. My faith is dear to me. I can't toss it , but being in a sea of materialism, I am not able to foresake it either ! A deeper voice says this is temporary, focus on lord. A more basal voice would rather "focus on your enjoyment now , do paath , sewa, but mostly enjoy also. We will take a more radical spiritual sikhi view when we're hit mid age". These people have always had problems with me and my faith for no reason. I am not even going to go into detail because the post will get very large. But they're not hindu, more like atheists who don't even respect their own faith. The other day I was telling them story of upanishads, and they called it hubris. well now you know !
  7. WHAT ???!!! The text in bold is a huge assertion to make ! Are you suggesting that even SGGS have been edited (and some baani perhaps removed) ? That would be shocking ! oh wait, but we have puratan hand-written birs . so I doubt that
  8. I haven't seen a single sardar news anchor or any other tv anchor for that matter in mainstream indian media . The only places you find sardar anchors are in punjabi news channels . Unless we change the perception that a sikh man can be as presentable and handsome-looking as any other man , then we have issues sadly. Our beards and our turbans should betray a regal look to people, and not that of a buffoon whose cheeks are filled with facial hair. So , question is how to take that uncut beard and turban and portray in a stylish way that attracts people ? we need more propaganda machinery
  9. Funny how we know things and yet hard to follow ! Each word you said I am aware intellectually but emotionally my heart is not able to accept the quagmire I am in.
  10. When my straight friends my same age tell me about their valentine and their plan to marry their lovers, Its as if someone shot a 100 piercing arrows at my heart. The sorrow cannot be described, you will probably not understand, but I don't expect you to ! Then one of them who is in a loving relationship mocked me and said "You believe in and talk about waheguru so much ! why don't you ask him to arrange someone for you" . I didn't have an answer to him. My heart just whispered in faith "He will , when the time is right !"
  11. I have felt so ! Thats why sometimes I feel like renouncing everything and become like a sanyaasi or something the sikh way. Sometimes when I am in deep pain, I can feel the fakeness of this world ! and all relationships, including parents . Sukh passes easily but dukh shows you real face of life, forces you to think about life overall. Sometimes I feel to make effort to utilize this pain and use it to follow guru's path and become jivan-mukt. But I am not able to bring myself to it . And then there's parents pressure every other day to marry . When your parents do drama and your mom screeches , its not easy. Other times I feel self-pity . Other 27 yr olds are enjoying their youth and mine is wasted in existential crisis . But then I console myself by reminding that everything you have and don't have is earned by oneself only ! When I look at poor and suffering, I am forced to have a different view of life. It gives me fear also, because I wonder what I am doing ! All is well that ends well. Right now I am in pitch black of night, but I live on the hope that someday sun shall rise . Reading gurbani is easy, tough is to believe it , even tougher to abide and LIVE IT ! BTW, today i completed 2 days of my paath. I hope guru ji gives me courage to complete other 38 days also.
  12. Please do not fight amidst yourselves. Its the last thing i would want to see. Both views are correct. Those who said i should take daily baani as chore are speaking from a rehit point. Their point is valid. Those saying i should do it slow are speaking from prem point. Their point is valid too. So no need to fight please. In a gursikhs life both rehit(discipline) and prem for baani is complementary to each other 🙂
  13. Sorry to say that this is the most confusing option and yet with the most likes. How do you define truthfulness? If i pick other options do they load to a deeper muck? It is clear that goddie doesn't like adultery but since he never created privilege of marriage for me, do laws of adultery apply to me. Its like saying god will judge a poor for not giving in charity. Are you suggesting that i should strangulate the part of my mind which desires of any worldly happiness ? Sorry for too much logic
  14. Yes, I will uncle ji !
  15. If you can read one more paragraph . Sorry ! I am trying to pour my heart and hoping perhaps someone could help My life is anything but rose tainted glasses. Right now it seems like I am beginning to suffer from what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance". That happens when you tend to hold two conflicting beliefs , or when all options seem feasible but none of them really appeal to you . For instance, in case to my sexuality , and my parents constantly pressuring me to marry . I find myself at crossroads where life forces me to pick a path but there's no returning from it once I choose it . 1) Find a like-minded woman (maybe a divorcee, maybe someone disfigured, or just a lesbian woman) who knows about me and wants to live a white-picket fence life like me and we can marry and raise a kid . Here kicks in cognitive dissonance : How can I even sensibly marry a woman and be happy to whom I am not attracted to and I don't love. I would be living in a world of "happy couples" and me and her, what kind of marriage would it be . And of a lifetime ! 2) Devote life to guru sahib . Apart from sharda, have nothing here . Everything rests on hope and mercy of god in this option. cognitive dissonance: Sexual celibacy is very hard and it gives a sinking feeling in heart to know that you will never be able to have a normal life. Trust me, it feels really really horrible. 3) Just live a normal life of a gay man : Work, party, have fun (including sex). cognitive dissonance : I fear judgement from god for my acting out uninhibitedly on my sexuality. Adultery is considered a very great sin and ofcourse its so damaging to one's spiritual progress. Guru in his baani says : "For one moment of pleasure, he suffers many many days of suffering". There goes my idea of enjoying life remotely . BTW, I am not a sexual person. but even if I were to live life of a normal gay man, it seems god doesn't approve. I often think it like this : "I don't know which bad karams I did to be born as a homosexual. I can't afford to do more and push myself into the muck of karmic world deeper. When i want to die, I would rather go with heaps of good karams, so that at some point in future (next lives), I can live a normal life like everyone else and attain jivanmukti" But of all the 3 options and other few, I can't seem to pick anyone. Its a horrible feeling and I can't help but die every moment in this constant tug of war in my mind.