Not2Cool2Argue

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Everything posted by Not2Cool2Argue

  1. I think you guys r misunderstanding. The OP is not asking about wat to do in this particular relationship. She is saying that rishta is canceled, done away with. And now she wants to know what to do in the future. Because of this incident, she is scared of a rishta. She wants an arranged marriage but doesnt want a repeat of wat happened before. So she wants to know wat she should do to avoid such future incidents. I think the underlying question is are arranged marriages defunct?
  2. After the Trump win, alt right and white supremacists have come into the public and onto social media out og nowhere. These ppl r trying to get sikhs to spearhead the attack so they cant be called racist. Rebel Media is an alt right youtube video gaining alot of popularity in Canada. These ppl r so biased they refused to acknowledge attack on.the mosque in Quebec. They went with a conspiracy that it was actually 2 muslims who did it, witnesses heard the attacker say allah akbar and the police and media r covering this up
  3. Watch the videos i posted above n provide counterargument to those. Ofc, a sikh should let nothing in life interfere with Amritvela, Naam Kamai, and Gurbani. So if these important things are being done, continue with your householder life. You and your wife need to come up with your own restrictions and healthy way of living. Sikhi does not have many rules, for that reason so that people can come up with rules for what works for them in their specific situations. So use ur budhi/ intelligence to set limits at where nothing interferes with kamaaing sikhi
  4. Im sorry but celibacy is not recommended in sikhi. Therefore celibacy within marriage is also not recommended unless both partners are at that avastha. Remember we had that one bibi complaining about her Gursikh husband? That he was too emotionless? Stable marriages are important, we need to have grihsti, householder lifestyle
  5. Can you please elaborate on this? Wat time period and who was involved? Thanks in advance!
  6. If u want to get a good arranged marriage, you need a good vichola or matchmaker. So the vichola should be someone u trust, who knows u, knows ur wishes for marriage and will be honest. Then this vichola needs to look at his her acquaintances and see if anyone is suitable for u, BUT the vichola should only choose someone they can vouch for and know really well. Make sure vichola doesnt judge ppl on appearances. Cuz in that case we dont need vicholas, we couod just look around and see that oh that person seems like a nice, kind, gursikh person. We all know looks can be deceiving, so we need a vichola who goes beyond that. I think the only good vicholas can be very good gursikhs/ high avastha ppl OR ppl that know us really well: friends, relatives. And they must know the other party just as well. Thats why these days matches are done within families or within small groups. Like ppl living in certain area are all getting matched up cuz parents know the families and know they r good ppl. Or someone from the nanis side of the family will be matched to someone from the dadis side of family. Also according to my dad according to shaaster 6 things must match for a successful marriage: religion, ethnicity, culture, weath status, caste, and age. Modern day equivalents could be religion, speaking same language, living in same country or having similar roots, compatible jobs, and personality/values/subhav Also u can take a hukamnama and trust Guruji. When a rishta comes, take a hukamnama. You might want to watch some basics of sikhi youtube videos on this. I think Bhai Jagmeet Singhs lifestory has mention of this. Dont be paranoid, do sukhmani sahibsahib and do ardaas for the right rishta
  7. You can do 10 astpadis daily instead of whole paath. But i find if i do the whole paath even if without concentration, i feel better at the end of it. And we should be making an effort to discipline our mind so keep tryinv to do the whole paath and fight to keep ur mind in the present, on the meanings. If ur tongue gets tired from doing paath, ahh wat a blessing! Is there any more shubh karam? But u might want to switch: 5 astpadis out loud, 5 in ur mind, get up and walk while listening to the other 5, sing the other 5, and read meanings of the 4. Also dont worry about the 3 big choices. Keep ur options open, live day to day. Leave some on God, and try the rest urself. I think u should try to come out to ur parents. Not all at once, dont make it another option and stress about it, just try to be truthful. Also maybe look for religious gay ppl, u said u tried the gay scene n didnt fit in so look for the religious gay ppl. There is a blog by a sikh gay person, google it. See wat issues they facing, wat solutions they have. Take it slowly, keep faith in God and keep searching when u feel despair. The right path to ur life might show up. Also look into how other religions are dealing with gay marriages, cuz sikh ppl might need to address this issue one day, and it would be nice if someone had done research on it. Look into the jati concept- Ika Naari Jati Hoe Look at comparison of degradation of society and homosexual behavior ( is there any correlation, causation, cuz christians r always saying roman/greek societies fell due to deviant sexual behavior), the debate of gay marriage (esp in America. I learned a lot. Like some pastor was arguing that studies show children need both a father and mother, so kids growing up in LGBTQ households with 2 moms or 2 dads, have same tendancy to fail as single parent kids. Also that there is alot of divorce/cheating in gay marriages as men are more promiscuous than women, so if u have 2 men, it doubles chances. Also that many lesbian households have domestic abuse) also check out Milo Yianopoulis on youtube, hes a Gay, Catholic, Jew who is against gay culture. He wants to live the gay lifestyle, but thinks pushing the gay agenda is harmful tl;dr: the choices u r facing in life r hard and unique n nobody has the answers becuz there r few ppl in ur situation. So i say do more research n maybe u will be able to help urself or at least help others in ur situation. More than research, keep doin paath, have faith, wat happened to u is part of Gods will and Gods Will Can't Take You Where God's Grace Won't Save You. Guruji protects his devotees, fulfills their wishes worldly and otherwise, so become a devotee and never fear
  8. You need to move out. Get benefits, welfare or move to womens shelter. Google the closest shelter. Also try to move into government housing. Maybe get scholarship or financial aid to go to college and live in the dorms Yes, talk to a gyani, your relatives, sikh helpline, govt agencies Where do u live? Uk? India? Canada?
  9. Wow the Europeans certainly looked after one another. Tho the French and British were rivals, he was careful to not let their plans be known. Also did Ranjit Singh have no spies working for him? He seems to ask questions about European armies and governments from his guests and believes them! It would have been harder to have spies because the nations were different ethnicities and easily recognized. And I dont think any European could be bought to betray his country...
  10. I agree these r problems...but there has to be a distinction between panjabi problems and sikh problems...tho yhesr days they r so entwined it hardly matters Are u saying that we let anyone claim they r sikh without following sikhi? I think we need more precise definition to define n describe ppl. Like islamists vs isis vs muslims. If u want to be a mona sikh, no idol worship, no caste n do at least mool mantar daily. If doin sewa at gurudwara, dont have eaten meat that day. If sehajdhari sikh, be vegetarian, do japji sahib n simran daily, no worshipping idos or faith in other religions. If kesdhari sikh, then the above plus rehraas sahib If amritdhari then full rehit And we shud have heirarchy, based on commitment to rehit and length of nitnem This way if someome claims to be sikh then at least they will know where they fit n there wil be some rules to follow. Also we can make caste n fanticide the two things that can make u not sikh. About the unrealistic sikhs, life and time r great teachers. The obese girls will learn to tell the truth n settle for less. As will the short girls and the uneducated boys. As time passes n they keep gettin rejected and cant find partners to their exact specifications, they will have to settle for less. Ofc this shows the materialistic ideology running through the panjabi/sikh psyche. Where wealth, looks, and status matter more than faith, values, and the environment. But as ppl learn money will not buy happiness, they will learn or their children will after having suffered. It might be too late for panjab tho.This materialistic culture has destroyed the land, the youth, and SGPC. But ppl r hopefully fed up with Badal and will make AAP win. Though most ppl r wrong to blame Badal exclusively for these conditions. And Badal is a sikh. If he had to get dirty in politics n go beg deras for votes, it dont make him nonSikh. Badal is providing wat the ppl want. In a documentary about water, it said that panjabis r using subsidized electricity to pump increasing amounts of water n decreasing water table at alarming rate. And why did Badal provide free electricity for farmers to destroy water table? Cuz farmers wanted that. Ofc the Anandpur resolution n water rights could help. But we lost that war. Noway a mere voted politician can get that concession from central govt. So if we want panjab to succeed, we need someone who doesnt only have farmers or Sikhs interests at heart. We need a wilier, dirtier politician who can get things done. Without being labeled anti sikh every other day. Maybe AAP can do that
  11. Tell them u need to finish ur studies. Cuz after marriage u will be too busy to finish studies. And these days 2 incomes r needed to run a household. So say after i finish my studies and have a job, i will ready for marriage. Also tell them that the average age for woman to be married is 26 years old. Also, dont worry too much. They still have to find a guy, and that takes a while. Alot of ppl r having problems finding a rishta these days. Also u can let them find guys n then keep saying no. Like not good enough. So maybe shud let them find prospective grooms cuz if u start looking when ur ready, it might take too long. So if they start looking now, they will find someone suited to their and ur taste in 3 or 4 years......or are they the type to just promise u to anyone and expect u to go through with it?
  12. They have different approaches. The troublemakers (druggies, attitude problems, not listening to parents) are taken to a 5 week camp at Baru Sahib, also some of the rescued girls who were at fault, were married off to indians, who were glad to get a visa and when i asked didnt the girls mind, i was told the girls were glad for any chance at marriage after the wrong path they took in life. Also there are the innocent cases like an amritdhari girl who became friends with female muslims n they pressured her to go to a club. The girl went and her orange juice was spiked with date rape drug and the muslim girls let their male cousin take her. It took alot of prayers to locate her and then they had to break her out. Other times the girls naked pics r taken n then used to blackmail her. If she dont get scared then they tell the family, we will post these in ur gurudwara. Other times, the girl is brainwashed/blackmailed to stay with the muslims and she will lie to the police that i am happy and here with my own will. And that the family is forcing her to go back. These r the hardest cases. Sometimes black magic is involved and lots of paath is done and the girl wakes up and comes home herself. I am not affliated with SAS but have heard of these cases from someone within the organization, and others from following them on fb
  13. I think even 6 years old might be too late. There was a post on langar hall blog by a guy who hates babas and bana and goin to gurudwara because he was abused by a baba. His dad helped out at the gurudwara n let the kid run around. Another kid told him to go play in the van, and thats where the baba was hiding and trapped him. The baba had used the other kid to lure him to the van. I think he was younger than 5. Of course the baba said if u tell ur dad, he will be mad at u. So he kept quiet for years. And now he has trust n anxiety issues with gurudwaras etc So, I think its really important to build confidence in kids, and teach them that adults even authority figures can be bad and if u feel uncomfortable, its ok to run away, scream and tattle. And man, we need to fear ppl in our community as well not just muslims. Especially babe, who become babe for very shady reasons these days. My parents always had a suspicion of the priestly class. Never let the girls stay at gurudwara for too long, go alone, and were encouraged to stay away from babe. As i think panjabis fear the celibates, rightly so as the Catholic priests showed. But it was only the girls they were worried about, never the boys....
  14. So we believe in the sin of the father/ancestors continues to haunt the children? Then if one is born into a bad family, why try? And i thought in kalyug, karma involves only the individual.
  15. Go to hazoor sahib if u can. Takes 2 days on train. Buy bottled water from busy popular shops to avoid severe diarrhea. Dont buy from unused shops, no idea how long its been there.
  16. I wonder how water hungry hemp is? Way better than rice i bet, and its a native plant. But the market/demand has to be there before farmers will risk it. If badal loses, and the free electricity for farmers and state backed prices of rice, intiatives for farmers are scraped, farmers might be willing to diversify, tho i doubt it
  17. A sikh is a person who believes in 1 God, 10 gurus, Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji, believes in Amrit and follows no other religion.
  18. Force yourself to do it. If u leave it on ur mann, it will some times agree n sometimes make u lazy. Make sure to do ardaas begging for sikhi. Also be grateful, see how many times u remember waheguru, say waheguru, or do paath; then thank waheguru ji with total shukar and appreciation. Because no can jap naam or bani without wahegurus grace, and that he is being this merciful to u that he is giving u such a precious gift of remembering him( when we remember him its cuz he is thinking of us and the marvel of the creator of the whole universe, remembering a lowly human out of 7 billion others is just amazing). He gives us this gift when we have forgotton our duty as an amritdhari, even more kind. And such a precious gift it is, that it destroys dukh n suffering when we utter his name. So like bhai veer singh says, say waheguru, then smile and be most happy and say thank you waheguru for u sukhdata have reminded me,
  19. Sikhi isnt about rules, do and donts, its about reaching the ultimate goal, waheguru. If u find other things in life more important or enjoyable then u have to analyze ur priorities. So u need to prioritize based on ur values: family, health, spirituality, wealth, society...etc Forcing someone to chanve their priorities doesnt work, leads to pakhand, and other problems
  20. Depends. Some ppl think its just an initiation ceremony, and its just a beginning, and that one has to do bhagati and naam and bani to get to destination. For others it is starting or giving of naam. For them taking amrit, changes u and gives u ras.
  21. Doesnt make sense. Then all the udasis and parchaar guruji did before meeting bhagat kabir ji would be for what? Also then gurbani would not use penname Nanak. Also then wat would be purpose of bei nadi
  22. I think the electricity to the microphone should be controlled seperately and should be cutoff and another mic should be used to talk over ppl like this. Also there should be a policy that only ppl who have something worthwhile like updesh to share with sangat should be allowed on stage. If any announcements need to be made, the secretary can do those. And if ppl just have complaints, or want to change or challenge something, that can only be done at a committee meeting. The whole sangats gurudwara time shouldnt be ruined by fruitless debates and yelling. Ppl come to gurudwaras to be inspired and do naam jap and connect to God not to have controversies stirred up.
  23. Personally....i feel bad abt imposing my views on u.... So please dont take my views seriously or personally.... I think no kesh might be better but only because all the jatta ive seen dont look nice. My sister hair had shampoo and grease n all just stuck in her hair..but that might be cuz her hair was like a nest.all piled up on one spot. Maybe dreadlocks are different? U shud totally get cornrows...;) by the way,wat does a dreadlock hairdresser do? Take out dreadlocks or create them? Also u shud ask him if he has tips on how to keep dreadlocks clean? Cuz matted hair seem like they would trap in the grease n shampoo. So obviosly im biased against jatta. And u can still have a dastar with no kesh. My dad has very little hair. Like his joora is the size of acherry.so he wraps old dastaar material round his joora to make it bigger. And that makes a very nice perfectly gol dastaar on top.
  24. Haha😁 nah its just easier to type less n condensed on my mobile device....if the choice is btween no kesh and jaata...its a hard one...maybe take a hukamnama