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Everything posted by Not2Cool2Argue

  1. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    This doesnt seem like fate to me. It seems like a very well thought out proposition. You are taking the advice of an elder. Who is not just advising u out of experience but also his knowledge as he knew about the family. And your fufur did additional investigative work. I doubt anyone else is lucky enough to get so much to go on to decide. Except there is a new trend to marry ppl from the nanke side to the dadke side. So if someone is from valait, they are not wasting the chance to go bahar on a stranger but someone in the family. And all the info is already known. Edit: Also wanted to add: the sanjog concept should only come into play once one is married. Especially if a couple is having issues, they should think it is sanjog and try not to think of whatifs and regrets and escape. Before the marriage, the decision and choice and blame is all yours. Afterwards, its all sanjog. Like the saying: before marriage keep ur eyes half open and after marriage, keep them half closed.
  2. Divorce in Sikhism

    Good points. I agree having many siblings and even cousins around is great. But i was referring to big families in the context of polygamy. There the father has a very minimal role in my opinion. When watching FLDS cult videos, the wives complain that they dont see their husband enough. So i doubt the children do. And the animosity and jeolousy that develops within the wives is not healthy for the family.
  3. Would A Transgender Amritdhari Sikh Be A Singh or Kaur?

    I meant Sat means Eternal not Truth
  4. Becoming guru-ward

    any naam simran, gurbani u do will have benefit. I have heard that if u have not taken amrit, u will get worldly benefits while amritdharis will get spiritual benefits. So watever they desire, they get. Also imagine that without amrit u r getinng 0000. Collecting zeroes in terms of spirituality. Tgey do not have value. As soon as u take amrit, a one is added to how many ever zeroes u collected so 0000 becomes 1000. So ppl who have kamaii or worked hard with naam and shabad before taking amrit will be more blessed and benefit more while taking amrit. Also taking amrit means u have taken on a guru. It is that gurus responsibility to make u pass the test and become enlightened. Also think of this amrit as a primer to get the real amrit inside of u to come out. Like in the olden days with hand pump nalka. You put in some water to prime the pump. Then the pump will start producibg its own water.
  5. emergency advice - Breaking off Engagement

    Why didnt u speak to the girl? You know how risky marriagea are in india. All.this trouble could have been avoided if u had been more responsible and mature before.
  6. Divorce in Sikhism

    Just breeding more children does not make them good people. Its raising them. And if u have multiple children. Its harder to manage them and teach each individually. Also sikh numbers came more from converts than their own children. As most sikhs lived in jungles and got shaheed young. They modt likely did not marry. Thise that did got shaheed before their kids grew up. Mostly women raised the sikh children in villages like bhai taru singh was raised and jassa singh ahluwalia. And lots of ppl were inspired by sikhs and turned sikh. Like bhai mani singh ji inspired bhai taru singh ji
  7. What if bentiyan don't work

    Of course we keep trying. And of course we accept hukam. How to do both? There is a story of a christan girl, Amy Carmicheal, who grows up to become a missionary or nun i forget, goes to india and saves devdasis from dancing at temples and raises them in orphanages. When she was young, she was told God answers all prayers. So she prayed at night. God please give me blue eyes. She had brown eyes. When she woke up. Her eyes were still brown. She was disappointed and thought God didnt answer my prayer. Then she smiled. She said. He did answer. He said no. So keep praying. Praying is like begging. A beggar cant get mad if someone doesnt give him something. No one owes the beggar anything. He can only keep begging. So tell urself, i am asking the lord for something. I have no right to expect it. God has every right to say no. Accept that. Keep asking, dont get sad or mad at the rejection. Everything God does is right. If he hasnt healed u today. It was Gods will therefore benefits all. Tere Bhane Sarbat Da Balla. In your will, All is well. Ask again tomorrow.if answer is no. Accept it. Then ask again the next day.eventually God will have mercy. Persistant beggars usually win.
  8. I dont know his name. He goes by bulandpuri babaji. Hes really big in canada and getting famous in usa. His english isnt bad. And the accent, quite slight, just makes him sound more mystical and spiritual. Im sure hes on youtube. I dont know much about him. But my favorite kathavachak, bhai sahib singh ji canada wale, follows him so he must be good person. 😄😃😆😅
  9. Divorce in Sikhism

    Alot of ppl use that 80% rule to prove we are like animals. In that one male has many females. And some males have nothing. Instead of reminding me of animals, it seems to point more to muslims. One man with his harems. And they did bride price, so only rich males can afford wives. So the rest go on slave hunts. This alpha male and his harem are not the only model found in nature. Some animals mate for life. Some mate then go different ways. Then mate with other partners. This modern day tendancy to use evolution (meaning how humans were before they were humans ie when they were a non intelligent species) or how animals live there life to live ours Is very stupid. Paleo ppl with their diet and now ppl looking for solution to marriage and everything else from evolution is dumb. We evolved from there. Meaning changed for the better. But of course ancient culture should be followed.. and our biology and our natural instincts which women do have different then men. But most ancient cultures exalted monogamy and studies show that children do better in household with both mom and dad. And married couples are happier when elderly. So yes monagamy is better for men and women. About that 80% statistic. It could be due to war, famine, invading hordes, rape. Also most invading ppl would kill all the men 15 years and older. And keep the women. Cant that explain the 80% rule? As the invaders were the 20% who controled 80% of the women. In a famine, more females are born then men. As females can defininately reproduce but men are a risk from natures pov.In war most young men die leaving behind many women. This statistic only had to skew once. Then cant be rectified. So maybe it changed after Mahabharat. Or Fall of Troy? Or black death? As women safer at home men getting sicker? Or maybe in the past each generation, more and more men weeded out due to wars and famine?
  10. Would A Transgender Amritdhari Sikh Be A Singh or Kaur?

    Yes Akaal is Sat. But Sat does not merely mean Truth. It mostly means Eternal. Everlasting. That is why when ppl die, hindus chant Ram Nam Sat Hai. That the name of God is Eternal. Meaning everything else is false and transitory. Including science, time, space, logic, existence. So we dont worship truth per say. We worship truth that is true forever. A truth can be transient. For example i i ask you the time, you say 3pm. A few hours later that will not be true. So in reality the only truth worshiping is Akaal. Because he will always be. Science and logic and time breakdown in this world now. What to say of forever? Time is not constant as explained by theory of relativity. The laws of newton do not apply at a microscopic level. At a microscopic level, quantum mechanics apply which seem to have no logic. Im sure we will learn that space is also not consistent or constant pretty soon. Science is a great tool but limited. Do not discard the ancient traditions and rituals so readily. They knew meditation was important before it became hip. They knew that the mind can control diseases, today unexplained as the placebo effect, positivity psychology, and stress effects on the body. So Sat Sri Akal means God is Everlasting or the Timeless is Eternal. Not merely God is Truth. When all else fades away, God endures. Why worry about the false and temporary, when theres the eternity? Eternity is not a concept. Its reality. Its God.
  11. This actually happens alot. One family was totally mona. Kids did make up and cut hair. Parents got into sikhi thru bulandpuri. Wanted to get there kids into sikhi too. Kids not interested. So the parents took them to diwaans. Asked bulandpuri babaji to convince them. The kids kept attending diwans. Learned alot. But still kept being mone. Dont blame them, its hard to go strict. Parents kept taking them to diwaans. Babji also talked to them alot. Luckily he speaks english. And would do a kids diwaan every wednesday. Where he did katha on spirituality in english and allowed the kids to ask questions. So basically, parents dont force their kids. But they do try to convince them. Parents put effort into teaching them abt sikhi, send them to all the camps, take them to babas, have spiritual ppl come to their house and talk to their kids. Ask mahapurkhs to do ardaas for their kids. They themselves do ardaas for their kids. And voila. Results happen. I would say, changing the kids sangat has the greatest impact. Interestingly, a spouse who wants to take amrit applies the same techniques to convince the spouse who doesnt. Look up personal stories. Back to Sikhi or Game of Love on instagram has quite a few of those stories.
  12. Sandhu & Ghotra marriage

    Jatt are farmers. Lubana are merchant class. Usually lubanas are well educated and rich because trading was a good business. Lubanas even traded via ships as can be seen from the sakhi of bhai lakhan shah lubana during Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahibs time. I would tell ur parents that caste shouldnt matter in sikhi. That he is from a good sikh family and is well educated. Also that they have the same language and culture mostly. Also tell them most jatts are drug addicts these days and not highly educated. There is no guarantee that anyone jatt thry choose will be a good person. These days divorce rates are increasing. So marrying a person you know for 7 years is a better guarantee of success. Also tell ur parents nit to worry abt wat ppl say. You are not doing a bad thing. You are not marrying out of religion or ethnicity. Only caste. And since we no longer do the caste work, it shouldnt matter. Those ppl who will talk abt ur family will not support u in divorce or unhappy marriage. So tell ur parents. As long as u my parents are behind me. Noone has the right to talk bad abt me. Also evolution favors diversity. So if we keep marrying jatt ppl to jatts, similar mutations can accumulate leading to diseases. So its better to branch out a little bit. Not too much that we lose our cultural and linguistic identity but enough. Like in my family sandhus married an uppal who married a gill who married a dhaliwal. If u go far enough, all the gots/gotras will have once married into ur family. Of course science says beyond 3rd degree relatives, the risk for genetic diseases is the same as marrying a stranger.
  13. Would A Transgender Amritdhari Sikh Be A Singh or Kaur?

    So how would you reconcile Mai Bhagos Sakhi? Why was she allowed to roam with the singhs at nanded and carry weapons? Also wat words are used to say Khalsa is a brotherhood of warriors? Bhaichara? Bhaichara means society and includes families.Also, doesnt a brotherhood of warriord just make it like a secret knights of templar thing? With no spiritual significance? Alot of ppl have hinted that amrit isnt necessary for enlightenment. Including bhai jagraj singh of basics of sikhi. That its only for the ppl who want to be fighters/join the army. That Guru Granth Sahib is the Jagat Guru, the guru of the whole world and will enlighten anyone who comes into their sharan/sanctuary. But then what of charan pahul and gurdikhshana?
  14. Would A Transgender Amritdhari Sikh Be A Singh or Kaur?

    Its simple really. How do the rest of us decide if anyone is male or female? By our biology. So it should be based on biology. Yes some trans people have dismorphia where their mental identity doesnt match with their biological identity. Why then try to change our biology (which cant really be changed much anyway)? Why not try to change the mental identity so that it matches with the reality. Because in reality, male and female only matters due to biology. Also, sikh is also about changing and reigning in the mind. We try to control lust, anger, greed, fear, stress, anxiety. These are all innate drives that are present in most animals. Yet we are taught to overcome and control these hardwired instincts. These are also based on hormonal, chemical underpinings. So why not try to control the mental disphoria? It is also hormonal, chemical based. Or at least try to live with it. Accept it as someone would accept living without an arm. Or how ppl live with infertility. As hukam. Another thing is that hijra does not mean transgender. It is intersex. People born with male and female genitalia or having XXY chromosomes. In which case they are female and male genetically. Trans people have nothing wrong with their biology. Also there are people who are actually males, XY but they dont have male hormone receptors. So they develop as females. Externally their body develops as female, but internally they have no female organs such as ovaries or uterus. Usually they look more beautiful than normal females, because their have more hormones. Its CAIH syndrome. I think ancient indians knew of this and that is why infertile women were so mocked and derided. Also Baanj in bani might be reffering to ppl like this. Another thing is that there are 2 sides to sikhi. One is the saintly side where one tries to meet the One. In this case ur gender, sexual orientation couldnt matter less. Its just a fact of karma like hair length. The other side to sikhi is where we try to make a better society. Thats why the Gurus told us not to run to the mountains. So 1 way to make society better is to procreate yourself and bring up good children and live a gristhi jeevan in society. In this way one must have a job and follow societys rules and biologys rules. So for this to succeed, we cant have gay lifestyles or transgender ppl. Another way to make society better is to be a social reformer. Like many sants were. They taught ppl how to live and usually fought for social justice. Like building schools, orphanages, mental institutions etc. LGBTQ ppl can become sikhs, give up their lifestyle and become sants. Another way to make society better is to fight tyranny. Like the nihangs used to do. LGBTQ can do that as well as long as they become sikhs and are celibate So LGBTQ have the same choice as every other sikh. Live a married gristh life or become celibate and dedicate ur life to society/panth.
  15. Finishing chaupi sahib off in gutka

    You can do that. But buy a proper rael or get another small table. As mentioned above by bhforce. Or clean off ur table properly. Then put a clean cloth on it. Then u can put the gutka sahib on it. Then write the rest of chaupai sahib. For rehraas sahib, because the gutka sahib doesnt have space. Do as others said. And print or write on another paoer and tuck it in the gutka sahib
  16. In india we used to use khabd that was cube squared abt 1 mm in size. We didnt use granulated sugar also as gurr n shakar come from sugarcanes or ganne then khand must be the next step. So get shakar n try to find out how to turn it into khand. Also most definitely shakar is different from khand as both are mentioned by bhagat kabir ji in the same pangti. About butter. You can make ur own from milk. Theres lots of youtube videos on it. But the indian way is. First turn milk into daahi/ yogurt. Then churn into makhni or whipped cream. Then heat that to get ghee. Also google this. Ayurveduc ppl have lots og videos. Very healthy. Has lots if vitamin K as it had pribiotic yogurt in which bacteria make vitamin k.
  17. Have u watched maha bharat? The way they use the word dharam is diffeent. To them dharam was specific to each person. And different for each person. Like the dharam if a brahmin vs a kshatri. The dharamofa mother vs the fathers. So they defined dharam as duty or morals being a righteous person. Even we do. Eh banda bahut dharmi aa. We dont mean religious we mean saintly or has good qualities. That is the difference between dharam and mazhab. Dharam is usually concerned about an individual. And istrying to get the individual to be better. And dharams are always getting ppl to stop doing something. Like quit alcohol. Or do something. Take amrit While mazhab is concerned with communities.Getting laws passed to make abortion illegal. Or stopping abortion clinics in ur area. Or getting all meat to be halaal. Or breaking idols and desteoying temples. Its always an effort based on a community. Also more concerned about worldly affairs or outwardly elements. Like which way do u face when praying etc. I think christianity is the most dharmic out ofall3 abhrahmics. Because it focusesmore on inside, so most like budhism.. Judaism is more sanatan, its the oldest and ppl r ok with othershaving different interpretations and as long as ur born into it, its up to u to follow, so most like hinduism. And islam isthe you gest, most war like, more abt prescribed prayers...least dharmic...but a little like sikhism. At least outwardly.
  18. Vanilla essence/extract contains alcohol

    No it doesnt have alcohol
  19. Vanilla essence/extract contains alcohol

    Use imitation vanilla extract
  20. not really we grew up with this history. It relates to 1984 so ofc a lot of young sikhs are into it.
  21. This is my very basic understanding. It all started when the british ruled India. Thw gurudwaras were ruled by mahants, priests with hereditary positions as the landowners and income earners from the gurudwara properties. They were an immoral lot. So the sikh people protested to have them ousted. The british decided to support the mahants and it was a long struggle. Today we celebrate those accomplishments as Nanksar da morcha, Jaito da morcha and Guru ka baag morcha.These morchas(protests literally battlegrounds dont know how to translate) had the most high body count. The sikhs suceeded in getting rid of the mahants.and then they had to think of how to create a different governing body for the gurudwaras. They created SGPC Shrimoni Parbandak Committee. It was supposed to be democratic, elected by votes. And there was the Jathedaar, the highest position in sikh religion. He can issue edicts that apply to the whole sikh panth. Like the pope except he has no divinity. This was during british times so early 1900s. But some sikhs dont support committees and voting as it can lead the majority immoral ppl to win which we dont want in religious affairs. They would prefer to go back to the sarbat khalsa system and the panj pyara system of olden times (1700s when sikhs were rebellious and lived in jungals and constant conflict with the mughal government. They ruled themselves as such) But then india gained independence and became a democracy. However it refused to give Sikhs any rights in Panjab. Sikhs fought for state rights, like the right to teach their language panjabi, the right to the water in their rivers. The akali dal was an organization at the forefront of this state rights resistance. They won some victories. And were seen as heroes. So for state elections, sikhs always used to vote akali dal vs the national party congress. And so there are 2 organizations in panjab. Sgpc controls the gurudware and they have a huge revenue from donations at the gurudware. And then there is akali dal, a political state party. It will never rise to national levels because it caters to sikhs and panjab. Which is only 1 state out of 40 or 20 states in india, i forget. But over time akali dal aligned more with the central and national government than their constituents the sikhs and panjab. This split widened in 1984. When the CM zail singh. I think he was like the state minister of panjab and maybe the head of akali dal as well. He supported the attack on harminder sahib to oust or kill sant jarnail singh bhindranwale. He was killed for his role in 1984 by sikhs, i think. But ever since then there has been mistrust of akali dal. Which is sad cuz the sikh party and it betrayed sikhs. Badal was also a politician during the 1984 times and was involved in suppression of khalistaan movement. Anyways there are 2 elections in panjab i think. 1 to vote ppl for SGPC, only sikhs vote cuz it governs sikh gurudwares and is the sikh religious organization. 2 to vote for state ministers (ministers are like senates. India follows the british parliamentary system). The political party with the most seats in parliament decides the prime minister(President) of the country.
  22. Suicide

    There could be an examole feom Guru Gobind Singh Jis time. One is Bibi Deep Kaur, she was part of a jatha going to visit anandpur sahib. Got left behind and was attacked by 4 muslim soldiers. She fought back. Had to grapple with one as well. She won. Made it to anandour sahib. Her family wanted to disown her for having been touched by a muslim. But guruju said No she is my true daughter. Be brave and fight. Another story is that of bibi basant kaur i think. I dont know how accurate it is tho. Apparently Bibi Basant Kaur was captured by a muslim ruler. The muslim was gonna do nikah with her. She penned a letter to guruji and sent i off. It said something aling the lines of i have no choice. But i will not lose my dharam. And she used the muslims knife to stab her self to death when he came to take her to nikah. The letter reached guruji. And they say, that guruji who had never cried not at the martyrdom of his father or his sons or his mother. When he read that letter, a single tear fell down. I dont think this story is credible. But i did here it. Also there is a very good analysis of this on gurmatbibek.com. it says that during the 1700s. When singhnia were captured by mir mannu. They endured all the tortures and starvation and had their chikdren butchered and still said the day and night has passed in peace. During partition times, women were not as strong, sikhis was weaker. But women in rawalpindi which is in pakistan now (jumped in fires. All of the sikh women of that village) but on youtube there is another account. A bajurg survivor said, when it was time for the sikhs to leave. The muslims surrounded the sikh village and a badmash came out and said, we will let u leave. Just let ur daughter visit me for a few days. I will send her after u. So the bazurgs dad, he had a kirpan. Got his daughter to bow her head down. And chopped her head off. The first time wasnt a clean cut. Its a harrowing account. Listen to it on YouTube. Anyways the other sikhs followed suit. And killed their own daughters. This too in rawalpindi. So idk why there are two accounts. Anyways the point was that, sikhi wasnt that strong, but sikh women still had enough anakh to die with their dignity intact. But in 1984, sikh women were captured and raped during operation blue star and after sikhi was so weak in panjab that instead of fighting back, women became sitting ducks. To be used to lure kharkoos from hiding. As the govt targetes their families. As in everything, sikhi has no blanket rule. Every person must decide for themselves. If they r willing to pay the consequence of sin. In an extreme situation, i would be Willing to eat meat to save my life and i would be willing to pay the price of sin. I would rather commit suicide then face rape and am willing to face hell for that. I am willing to eat cyanide pill to protect my brothers in arms in a revolution so in weakness i dont condemn them and am wilking ro face Gids justice in that. See, its all personal choice. As is would u be willing to abort a child to save the moms life? Hopefully, mahrajs kirpa we neve have to face such dilemma
  23. help finding Gurbani

    You can find books on gurbani vyakaran on google. Try the websites ikatha.com or vidhia.com. also the website gurmatbibek.com might have some under literature section
  24. Please Read- it brings peace

    I think people are confused on semantics. By pain do you mean the mental anguish or the physical sensation? People are born with defective genes so.they dont feel.pain. theres a family who this runs in. Google it. The little girl stabbed her chest with a rusty nail while climbing a log. She covered the wound and kept going.She just felt a slight pressure. I remember when i stepped on a nail, it hurt so bad i cried. So i think Light of Naam is saying that the shaheeds like Bhai Mani Singh can feel pain as a physical sensation, just as they can feel.the wind and other physical sensations. But what others are saying is that the they did not feel the mental anguish that is associated with it. So if it doesnt hurt, is it still pain?
  25. Husband Wife relation

    The trolling? Yes i agree its quite good.How many more times is the OP going to try to get ppl to try to put into words those acts?