Not2Cool2Argue

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Everything posted by Not2Cool2Argue

  1. Personally....i feel bad abt imposing my views on u.... So please dont take my views seriously or personally.... I think no kesh might be better but only because all the jatta ive seen dont look nice. My sister hair had shampoo and grease n all just stuck in her hair..but that might be cuz her hair was like a nest.all piled up on one spot. Maybe dreadlocks are different? U shud totally get cornrows...;) by the way,wat does a dreadlock hairdresser do? Take out dreadlocks or create them? Also u shud ask him if he has tips on how to keep dreadlocks clean? Cuz matted hair seem like they would trap in the grease n shampoo. So obviosly im biased against jatta. And u can still have a dastar with no kesh. My dad has very little hair. Like his joora is the size of acherry.so he wraps old dastaar material round his joora to make it bigger. And that makes a very nice perfectly gol dastaar on top.
  2. Haha😁 nah its just easier to type less n condensed on my mobile device....if the choice is btween no kesh and jaata...its a hard one...maybe take a hukamnama
  3. My sister got jata in her hair. She was too scared of the pain to take out tangles and they got bigger and bigger until her jorda was stuck in place. She had a permanant joora and she would wash it by squeezing it. We found out 6 months later. And it tooks us two days to get the tangles out. We just straight out pulled her hair out trying to get the tangles out. Her head hurt for a week. Ya jatta are wrong cuz theres this saakhi: a sadhu with jaatta came to Guru Gobind Singh Ji and he wanted to shaak amrit so he asked guruji. Guruji said kesh, clean kesh are required. Sadhu said wat do i do? Guruji said dont worry. Then when all slept, guruji spent all night long taking out tqngles from the sadhus hair. When he woke up he had normal hair. I dont know where the saakhi is from, but i heard itsomewhere when they were talking about theimportance of kesh to guruji
  4. You should contact sikh coalition, theyve done many such cases: Disneyland didnt want a bearded Sikh man to be seen, Abercrombie wasnt hiring turbaned ppl, the army didnt allow turbans, new york police, alot of kids faced bullying in schools. All of these issues have been resolved tho, i think.
  5. marriage

    I think you should be outspoken and get what you want. Now that your sister told, and your mom already scolded you, it would be dumb to back down. Also this might be help from the divine. Because u couldnt voice ur desires, they were stilled voiced by someone else. If u dont take this chance, then u only got urself to blame. Dont let ur life strong on the wrong foot, take charge, u r an adult. Also this will affect tge rest of your life, so speak up and defend yourself. Say im not shameless, i didnt know which guy u guys were talking about and i assumed it was the one closer to my age. I dont want an older guy or something. Also did the older cousin ask or did his parents ask on his behalf? If the parents did then its easy for ur parents to say that oh we will accept the rishta but with the younger one as he is closer to our daughters age. (Let ur mom know she can say this if she says how can we turn down the rishta, it will be disrespectful. Tell her this polite way of doing it.) If the guy asked for ur rishta by himself, which I really doubt, then idk. Still try changing it. Also remember, do ur best to change the circumstances but without expecting anything. If u set ur heart on it, u will be disappointed, speak up and if it works out, good.If it doesnt, it wasnt meant to be. Also if u have to marry the older cousin plz dont go into it with regret. Try ur best to change it, if its not changed, accept Maharaj's hukam, forget the other guy and go into marriage without doubts or regrets. It isnt right or smart to start a marriage with regrets. Also if it doesnt work out, dont be too disappointed, they are cousins, so they probably share the good qualities as being raised in same environment which u only saw in the younger.
  6. Im glad we agree
  7. I wouldnt ruin any girls life like that. Veer Harsharan singh has the right to self defense. Anyone would become angry after the way you provoked him. Though he should stop using the word f*d*
  8. Apology accepted. So...when are u getting married?
  9. The highs and low are expected in this journey. If there are mountains, there will be valleys. If sukh then dukh. If tikeya man then chanchal mann.if day then night. If happiness there will be sadness. That is how this world works. Until youve found yourself, your true self which is atma which exists in sehaj avastha, equipoise, samdrishti, gazes upon dukh sukh, gold dirt, death life as one. Until your true subhav, personality: eternal anand is found, the high lows will remain. But u must not stop the journey, no matter how low u go, if u keep traveling, u will get out of the valley. It isnt bhagati or love or worship to only do simean when u feel like it. Its bhagati when its done when u dont feel like it. On youtube listen to pyare jeo by bhai vir singh also read in search of the true guru by bhai rama on www.vidhia.com
  10. I used to think the english didnt commit as many attrocities in india as the spanish did in america, but i was wrong:
  11. Also listen to principle dr harbhajan singh. His analysis on charitopakhyan is amazing. He actually uses dasam bani esp CP to prove that Guru Gobind Singh and Sikhi is feminist. He is on youtube. He mentions about how chandi di vaar is about a women warrior and how indra the king of the gods, has to come to a woman for help. Also mentions about wat bhagauti means, which is how charitopakhyan begins. If a man trascends, becomes enlightened, is divine, its bhagwaan, but the female divine is bhaugauti. Theres also the story of bala, the women in CP who schools a pandit and other stories. Check him out.
  12. Man not another jagsaw singh, who takes all disagreements as personal attacks. Can you not address peoples arguments without insulting them? And if someone disagrees, theyre not being insulting, they just dont agree, so please dont take offense. I will admit, Akalifauj, that your post to me was pretty decent, but i dont know if its because i keep all personal things private (like my gender, name, affilation) and so u cant attack me with anything or maybe u can be decent. But u did assume that i have western masters and cant read, and only because i think western girls arent all bad means im a slave to western masters. I didnt address some of ur points as u would like so i cant read.....so whos being an illogical, assumptive, generalizing, antagonizing weirdo that likes to insult ppl to start fights?
  13. So if we assume everything i said above to be true, which is full of generalizations, and assumptions, then is this bani comparable to gurbani, holy bani which can take u to heaven? I dont know. I think we need to have a discussion as the sikh kaum. We can only do that once the missionary anti-dasam granth brigade dies down. Also if the women in charitropakhyan was a metaphor for maya, about how cunning it is, how it can twist ppls minds, would ur views abt charitropakhyan change? There are also ram avataar, and chandi charitars to be considered. Are they just translations of hindu granths? Or are they translations with commentary of guruji woven in? It seems the latter. Also there is this distinction some ppl make, that guru granth sahib is the Guru of Humanity, it is for everyone and leads to salvation, while dasam granth is for the khalsa only, it leads to the betterment of khalsa in all things: teaches us political philosphy, warns of social ills, gives us the best heritage of poetry/literature despite us being the newest religion, fills us with chardi kala, bir ras, and love of akaal. Shows us theres nothing to fear from Kaal or maha kaal, helps us trascend this world and its measly problems.
  14. Charitropakhyan is a bani that is advised to be read at a certain stage and when u have someone who can explain the allegorical, metaphorical, and overall message. And u can see why as its hard to relate to the literal meaning. I havent read it, but ill give my 2 cents anyway. Like u mentioned, the mantri is trying to convince the King that his wife is lying and being cunning. So ofc all the stories that come afterwards have to be about cunning deceitful women. And even if the cunning was done to save her life, it still shows woman are cunning creatures, which is bad. In the end, the king distrusts his wife, and becomes open to listening to his innocent son. So thats that, but the point is wat are we as the Khalsa supposed to learn from it? Well that can be answered after we presume some things: First of all, that men and women arent the same. Equal yes, same no. Secondly, that men are more affected by kaam (while women by moh. AND in sikh history we have great examples of sikhs of both genders transcending that, singhnis who had their children cut to pieces and baba deep singh who wouldnt even look at the face of a women straight on and called them all mother: sakhi reference when Babaji went to return kidnapped daughters of india) And evolutionarily, men minds are hardwired to protect the women and children at all costs, because evolution cares about the next generation, so men are more likely to be biased towards women for the above two reasons: kaam and protection syndrome ( where women are thought of as always needing protection and seen as innocent) Also women are more likely to use their body, emotions, and appearance to get things. (one cant really blame women for this: what else is an intelligent species to do when they had no control of their fate, no independence, no voting/property rights? They can only use persuasion, trickery or cunning, so they honed the only weapons available to them.) So this is a warning that nothing comes free, there is always a purpose/reason/or cunning to why the woman is being nice towards you. And if u look at the real world, there are very dangerous women out there. Prostitutes which will make u ruin ur dharam. Adultery isnt committedby men only, so adultress women who can ruin families. Women who put fake rape charges to ruin pples career. There have been social experiments done where if a strange man offers to buy candy and take kids for a ride, bystanders jump in and stop the kidnapper. But when strange woman offer candy and a ride to kids, bystanders do nothing as woman cant be kidnappers. In brazil, these gangs use their womenfolk: sisters gfs, to kidnap kids. Even in panjabi,sikh culture, indian women will marry an nri and after getting citizenship, they run away with husbands money and marry indian bfs. If husbands had trusted them less, they could have saved their money atleast if not marriage. So does this mean there are no good women and women shouldnt be trusted? No and yes. Yes there are good women, but its not the peaceful, good womens who u have to be careful about. Like the saying, in nazi Germany, it wasnt the peaceful majority that mattered, it was the evil minority that killed the jews. The peaceful, good folk didnt really matter. Same with life, it isnt the good women u shud be worried about, thats why this bani isnt about them. And no, u shouldnt trust women.....blindly, keep on the watch.
  15. Alot of it has to do with breakdown of the family, culture, religion, and villages. People who live in extended families and who have their traditional culture and follow religion and who live in a homogenous small community where everyone knows everybody, those places have less crime, violence. As cities increase, multiculturalism increases, strangers are neighbors, crimes go up. Also as more ppl become educated and get jobs, stress goes up and ppl become selfish, so suicide, mistrust, competition. Now that youngsters dont have anything meaningful to do they do drugs, clubbing etc
  16. Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no being idle, no freetime. Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/ kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger, time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Also when thoughts come, label them and watch them, like now kaam is trying to attack me. My mind feels like going on the computer to listen to kirtan. Is this a trick by jazzy, to get me to the computer? So avoid it. Im bored, lets go on the internet. "Trick by kaam, to make me fall. Try again kaam" so watch ur thoughts, if u can stop the bad thoughts as soon as they come, bad actions will never happen. Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard
  17. Treat yourself as if u do have bipolar/split personality disorder: Now the "Im a good sikh" personality is on top. Give it a name Gurmukh/ Babbar Singh/Kuldeep Singh. Ok Gurmukh, i dont know how much time we have before the other guy shows up. I wont be able to control myself once he gets here, so let me put up precautions. First of all, let me avoid the triggers that might set off the other guy: no tv, no internet, no taking calls from an adultereress, block her number, change ur phone number, move away into another city, start going to a new gurudwara if theres a chance u guys might meet there, join Khalsa Aid, Peace corps, midland langar or any organization that will keep you busy or might let u go to another country, and let u do seva to increase ur good karma so ur bad destiny of being one of the worst sinners an adulterer can change. Second, keep ur self busy at all times. Keep ur self in sangat, so that ur bad personality Manmukh/ jazzybains/ kanyewest wont want to show up at that time. But even if jazzy shows up, cant really do much damage, except make u feel restless and want to go home. " man ni lagda" lets go home, dont listen to it!!! Stay there. At home have a schedule so u are not idle, have sukhmani sahib and sehaj paath scheduled into ur day, keep doing good things that will keep jazzy far away. But if u feel him coming, run towards either a friends house, gurudwara, or go talk to ur family. Basically go where theres ppl, and where jazzy cant make u do stuff Third, keep a calendar or list or app to motivate yourself. Like ive gone this many days without letting jazzy win. I havent talked to her for this many days. Im on a streak, ive done nitnem everyday, let me not break the streak! Also if jazzy comes along and tries to tempt u , try to fight him, and when he makes u do things, tell him ok i will listen just wait 2 minutes before doing the bad thing. Only 2 minutes. They say if u can hold off on temptation for 2-3 minutes, it goes away. Sometimes it might get stronger, time urself, see how long u can hold off, then try to beat ur record everyday, even by 1 sec. Fourth, do ardaas to guruji, please help me im trying my best. But kaam is a big soorbir, i need ur help. Help me like u helped joga singh, i am ur sikh too. Help me. And if u r putting in sincere effort to stop and fight kaam, the faster ur ardaas will be heard
  18. I dont think so. They say daler mehndi was a kirtaniya, but he gave that up and became a pop star, gayek, because he said he earned more and got more respect too than as a kirtaniya. He said he was treated like a lowly servant before. Im glad kirtan is in so much demand, that kirtaniye can demand that much money. We r willing to pay pop stars that much but not ppl whove dedicated their whole lives to raag? Ofc if he charges too much, dont invite him. Guruji ended the tradition of formal kirtaniye, and taught us all kirtan, and there are many youngsters who can do kirtan in the uk. Invite local kids to do kirtan. Also many famous kirtaniye live in the uk, like Gurbir Singh, Hazara Singh scotland, and many jathas that do better kirtan than maninder singh raagi: the lost strings, Qi-rattan, tav prasad jatha, etc. Invite these local ppl. Some of them even know how to do kirtan on puratan saaj, some on guitaar, and they have beautiful voices. Though guru ji taught us all kirtan, ofc the ones who can do it better will be in more demand, and so they can charge more.
  19. If u told ur parents about the skin condition, they might back off of getting u married in india. Also they might help with treatment. Also make sure u are honest to the vichola or the groom. When things arent told and ppl find out after marriage, there are alot of problems. So tell ppl about ur skin condition, but to answer important questions u might have to consult a doctor. Ppl will want to know is it contagious? Is it genetic, will u pass it to the children? Wat is causing it, will it worsen? Will it spread to your face? So take a day off work and go to the doctor. Also think about telling ur parents. I only see good things happening if u tell them. They might stop rushing to get u married off. Also, one way to convince ur parents to choose someone from the uk, is to tell them that the indian guy is marrying just for the visa and there have been many cases where the indian guy will get citizenship then leave the girl. Also many indian guys r drug addicted, but will lie about it.
  20. Check out gurmatbibek.com Try to talk to your sibling and tell them all the negative consequences of kaam and porn, ( u might have to research this but its addictive, ur tolerance levels go up, its basically like a drug) if u read stories of ppl who r addicted, their lives are horrible, u can search up some stories on this forum, but they might be explicit. If ur sibling gets mad and says none of ur business, then u could threaten to tell ur parents. U dont have to tell, but u can scare ur sibling from stopping, if they r younger, then u could impose rules like i will check ur phone n call logs Also do as much extra paath for this sibling. And ardaas that guruji saves them from this destructive obstacle in life. This willhelp alot, slowly but surely
  21. I think the "be a human being first quote" is ppl praphrased when guru ji said Na koi hindu na musulmaan, when coming out of the bein nadi. The quote is sort of true, because we r supposed to belive in days before dharam, so kindness before religion
  22. We celebtrate it cuz it is a new year that matters in our life. We go to a new grade, our ages go up, etc so we wanr gurujis blessings for the new things coming. Is that so bad? Also ppl can celebrate both new years, more paath at gurudwara
  23. That is insulting. She called u paji a respected brother and u paired her name up with someone? Anyway, wat ur trying to defend is wrong. Everyone in this forum would be glad to say indian girls are better. But sadly they are not. Have you not heard the stories of of indian girls getting married, waiting for citzenship and then running away? And certainly rural girls are not better. When my american cousin went to india, the neighbors girl in the pind, convinced her to get a boyfriend. The pind Gurudwara has a school for boys to learn santhiya and katha. And thats who the neighbors girl got my cousin into contact with. And this is just one incident but since girls now go to schools, go learn sewing, beauty parlor, and other things the pind girls have alot of chances to misbehave. And they r motivated to misbehave due to drama serials, bollywood, and other bad girls. There r good girls too. Like one girl i met who said she would never refuse an arranged marriage because it would be a daagh on her dads pagh. But theres no way to tell who is good or bad. Thats the point. Just being from a pind in not enough now to ensure ur moral character. The only way to make sure is that u know the family. Like ur dads friend vouches for this other family. Even then be careful of vicholas. Basically in arranged marriage the parents should make sure that the pair is compatible and to do that u must know both of them. So yes lots of marriages r happening between close acquaintances: 1) ppl want to help ppl they know come to the west instead of strangers 2) less risk if u know the ppl So in my family, 2 marriages happened where a guy from my nanas family married a girl from my nanis family
  24. Tea has been banned in akj n taksal since the 1920s cuz the tea leaves were given tamaku (tobacco) di 'poth' ਪੁਠ i dont know wat it means. I think some part of tobacco was used in maybe drying, cultivating process. As soon as that was discovered back then, it was outlawed by sikhs. I dont know if the tobacco thing is still used today
  25. @OP i think the main reason ur parents want someone from india is that she will be more likely to live with an extended family. Most modern girls want their privacy, own place, and will see the in laws as interfering, criticizing burdens instead of as helpful, advice offering, sometimes annoying responsibility who r still family. Secondly, they do want a wife that is dependent on the husband. That way she will be less likely to divorce over trivial things, and will be more likely to be a housewife and stay at home mom. Most modern uk women would not want to give up their careers to stay at home. And a stay at home mom is really important to raise kids in a traditional, healthy way. Thirdly, i think there are very rare families who raised their daughters like ur parents did in the uk. Ur probably the only one in uk. In america there r some familiws that r as strict as urs complete with no internet n picking up kids from school. But still rare. Most tend to be strict taksali families, i think akj r more modern, more english speaking at home too. Maybe some very misogynist, traditional panjabi families r the same, but most panjabis that r not amritdhari r pretty lax.