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Many Amritdhari men lack confidence attracting Sikh women for marriage. They blame it on Sikh women preferring clean shaven men. There may be an element of truth in that but maybe it has to do with other factors. For example our late brother Jagraj Singh of Basics of Sikhi was a very confident man and he had no problems attracting a beautiful Russian Amritdhari woman. His colleague Jagmeet Singh married a French Amritdhari woman. Both Amritdhari men. I think some of our brothers need to look inside themselves. We are coming off wimpy and needy. That does not attract women.

Here are some tips for my shy brothers, this should help you become more attractive: 1.) If there are girls who prefer clean shaven men, there is not a lot you can do about that. There are 7 billion people on earth, at least half are women, why limit yourself to several thousand girls of Sikh/Punjabi background who show no appreciation. 2.)start working out, lift weights, train and get in shape. If you ever look at pictures of Sikhs of old, they were always well built. You can't do a lot for height if you are shorter but make the best for what you got. 3.)Take up a martial art, this makes you a more interesting person. It also makes you more confident. 4.)Dress better. If you work out, clothes fit better when you are in shape. 5.) Improve your posture, shoulders back, back straight. Again look at pictures of Sikhs during the gurus times, you will notice that they always have good posture. The perception of people when they see you like this shows you are a competent confident person. 6.)Talk to women,they are not an alien species. Don't limit yourself to our own Punjabi /Sikh women. Black women, white women, Chinese women, older women, younger women, middle-aged women. Talking to them like they are people not as sex objects. If you are at work, just say hello (you don't need to make conversation with them if it is too much for you.) Think how many people the average Parcharak talk to. Learn from them. When you are seen as a man talking to a woman, other women (even the Kesh detesting women from the clean shaven families) look at you differently. Social proof is big thing for women. When a woman finds you attractive, her friends and other women will find you attractive.

Californiasardar If it was a white guy with a hipster beard, and one of those manbuns, I can guarantee that the Sikh girls from clean-shaven families would be OK with that. The problem is not really kesh and dastaar with some of our Sikh women, it is the perception of what they think it represents. I know of Amritdhari and Keshdari men that have had no problem marrying Sikh girls from clean shaven families. But these Amritdhari and Keshdari (not trimmed beard but proper beard) have had no problems attracting women.

She is doing a good job so maybe we should't be judging her based on her private life and focus more on the fact that she is one of the few MP's from our community that is raising awareness to the issues we have,

The term is "crab bucket mentality ". It is because when one person rises above it shows deficiencies in others.

That's the problem with our community, no matter if somebody has positive qualities, they will always belittle them and look for faults.

Do you know how many vitamins there are? If you thought four... there are actually 26 in total. A person's body and health can improve hugely if we eat the right type of food. Brazil nuts, eat three and that'll be over 60% semolina in you. Eat 10 grams of pumpkin seeds that is the same amount! Raw carrots have vitamins A. I can go on BUT... It's important to consume one portion of steamed vegetable a day. A good portion in fact. Broccoli, cauliflower, sprouts, parsnips - NO saabji isn't right. It's good, should be consumed but defo not right as it's a hardcore effort to kill all the vitamins they provide. Leave daal (chickpea) in cold water for 24 hours? THAT has more vitamins. This is important for the Gut flora and one can go in society by simply having washed with soap and water, as the diet gives off the fragrance to body. And for breakfast it important to have breakfast that contains many many vitamins and minerals. Porridge is perfect example. In UK it'll be Ready Brek (or Ready Go from Asda brand). LOOK OUT FOR THE NUTRIENT INFORMATION! It'll mention several vitamins and minerals. THAT is the right porridge you want. ADD to it, 2 tea spoon of Flax seeds. YOU WILL RECIEVE LOADS AND LOADS OF VITAMINS AND MINERALS ALREADY. OH and by doing so? every morning you will feel fully awake before dawn, so greatly helps in Amritvela and meditation. Food is important in a meditators life. SORRY to say! But Crisp, chocolate, soft drinks do not give any real vitamins and minerals to the body

LOL you are completely deluded. Please read some itihaas. The corrupt masands met their end by being thrown into boiling oil as per guru ji's hukam. You are just attempting to spread your manmat, so please stop talking nonsense before you embarrass yourself further.

they tried to destroy Gurdwara Sis Ganj Dellhi in 1984 , they paraded our naked mothers and daughters there this is level of people we are dealing with , they have no decency , no shame they are the lowest of the low and the reason they are doing this is they know that Kalyug Baba/Guru is was and will always be Guru Nanak Dev Gobind SIngh ji and their days are numbered, instead of planning to become worthy chele they planned like fools to destroy the undying panth 'when one khalsa falls , two will rise up ' mukhvak Guru Gobind SIngh ji . Whatever Guru ji utters so will come to pass ... there will be no hindu raj or muslim raj , there will be one caste -humanity one belief- the truth one mission - Waheguru ... this governance of evil across the planet is destroying the soil, the water of our planet for imaginary wealth ...numbers on a screen ....it is so pathetic : time to brush up survival skills, warrior skills, leadership skills, herbal/plant knowledge , become strong mentally , physically and become prepared . Our children and their children have to be aware and ready for the hard times .

Democracy,voting, elected individuals etc are just illusions. You are being cast under a spell if you believe in all this and don't even realise.

Ok. I know someone who met her and said she was French, they must have been mistaken.

Learn Shaster vidya, that's all I can say. Learn Martial arts, anything. Just take precautions. That was the order of Mahakaal and that's the only way we'll reach anywhere. Don't take this the wrong way (im not aiming this at you at all, this is a general note) but the Kirpans typically worn are just like the Janyu (sacred thread) worn by the hindus now (this was the bachan of a Sant if I recall right), that's why we need to adapt a bit more.

SO are you now on board for people keeping guns and weapons?

This topic is ironic in so many ways.

OP Sinner, not everybody has the company of sangat. I’ve never had the communication of physical sangat and that will probably be the case with many people. Being with the right sangat or within a sangat is a benefit, but if one doesn’t have that, then it should not change the love between you and Guruji. Everybody is going to be different and it’s impossible to be the same all the time. You should participate in sangat during Gurbani or kirtan. If nobody talks to you, so what. At least you’ve been sitting in physical sangat. It’s not necessary to be best friends with everybody, as Guruji is who you go for to the Gurdwara. They will give you the Hukamnama that’s meant for you and don’t worry about it being the right or wrong one for you. You need to find God from within also. And work on the trust and relationship between you and Guruji, that’s what counts. If you find that you are very uncomfortable, then go to another Gurdwara with different sangat or go at different times of the day or when there’s less sangat, then you will feel the change.

Sikhi is khaneo tikhi, valo Niki. Unless there are instant results people become weak and expect Guru Sahib to work miracles in their favour. There is no easy answer it's a hard slog for everyone, until you reach the stage of sehaj and have complete control of senses and 5 chor. It's for the reasons you've outlined emphasis has been placed on increasing naam and performing Ardas. This is why Mahapurash perform immense naam kamai to burn sanchit karams and thus form a close bond with Vaheguru Ji. Without this effort we have little chance of finding inner peace, the only other way is direct kirpa 'bin bhaga Satsang na labhai, bin Sangat mail bhareejai jeeo'.

My post wasn't showing how they are the victims, it was that a non-violent act should not be met with violence. There are other ways we can combat this than go out and assassinate people for victimless crimes. Of course they should face a punishment, however it should not be physical, let alone death. If someone changes a Khalsa practice, such as the Khand Di Phaul, then they should try to justify their views as per Gurmat, and if they fail. they should apologize, however even if they dont, they should not be killed, an excommunication and boycott is more than enough. If you are going to rebut an argument, you should at least read the entire thing in context. I am fully aware of the perpetrators of these actions, and I still agree they should not be KILLED, and in the worse case excommunicated, do you have a problem with that?

Hmm we've had a steamer for years, never used it. Ki ehvi kasmaan pauna steamer da. Unless you're gonna steam a lot then just use patila and chaanani. Fry pan vaala kam chakki jaa, banda ehhhhnuuuu set renda.

Tuhanu yaad karda si bhenehhhhhhh!

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh I'm not sure what to make of this but I felt called to share it. I just got back to the Dojo, and there was a little injured bird hopping around in the snow, pecking at cracks in the parking lot. It looked like it had a broken wing and was missing an eye, shivering slightly. I opened the door and tried soothingly to invite inside. It would let me get pretty close but not too close, and it wouldn't come inside. So I started playing Sukhmani Sahib Kirtan hoping it would feel drawn inside. When it didn't come, and it started snowing harder I prayed and asked Vaheguru Ji to help it. I was struck by how peaceful and happy bird friend was, even in the heavy snow, even injured, it just hopped around taking what little food it could, not a care in the world. I looked down for a moment and when I looked back up it was gone. I know it couldn't fly. Either Vaheguru Ji healed it or took it. I felt like I could learn a lot from bird friend. Be happy with whatever is given.

That’s a nice experience you had. God was showing you that the bird was living in Hukam. Your story reminds me of some shabads:

Yes. I meant originally that boiling you lose the most, but depending on how you steam, you lose less than boiling, but some. If you use a water steamer set up where the water stays behind, underneath. Vs steam as in cook in pan with tiny bit of water and consume it all where you lose the least. I just wasn't sure what @Singh1989 meant by steamed vegetables in his really good post. We agree I'm pretty sure. I just didn't say it very well.

The feet licking traitor is rotting in hell with his master Indra waiting for his shameless supporters to give him company.

Me too brother, me too...

Welcome to Kalyug, enjoy your stay.

@Big_Tera Dude, when someone recommends a type of car you take their advice, when someone recommends a life partner you don't go and marry them without even meeting them at least once, personally, i i were you i would have spoken to may parents as soon as i had doubts, i wouldn't be posting for advice on the internet. As far as the repercussions, you can forget about going to India for a while because they don't forget stuff like this in a hurry, you know, izzat and all, anyway, like i said, speak to your parents, you never know, they might listen and understand.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh! Recently, there has been an assassination attempt on a man named "Kuldeep Singh" from Virginia, USA, over the desecration of the "Khand Di Phaul" Amrit Sanchaar ceremony of the Khalsa Panth. In May of 2016 a famous Sikh preacher named "Ranjit Singh Dhadrianwale" was also faced with an assassination attempt, which was also carried out by not the Indian government or some external power, but by fellow Sikhs. Without going into the specific issues behind the motivation of their attempted assassinations or the issues themselves, I would like to discuss the very use of violence as per Sikhi. I have seen some Sikhs, as well as some users on this sub, who openly advocate for violence. I would just like to remind them that although from a Sikh point of view violence has historically been advocated and used, the context under which it was used is very important. Guru Gobind Singh Ji himself says: "ਚੁ ਕਾਰ ਅਜ਼ ਹਮਹ ਹੀਲਤੇ ਦਰ ਗੁਜ਼ਸ਼ਤ ॥ ਹਲਾਲ ਅਸਤ ਬੁਰਦਨ ਬ ਸ਼ਮਸ਼ੀਰ ਦਸਤ ॥੨੨॥" "When all other methods fail, it is proper to hold the sword in hand. (22)" -Guru Gobind Singh Ji, Dasam Granth, Ang 1471 As anyone who can read can clearly see the Guru very specifically states that the sword (in this case symbolizing violence) must only be used when "all other methods fail", the Gurus message is very clear, yet its some of those who claim themselves to be Sikhs of the Guru who are having a hard time understanding what the Guru himself is saying. On the issue of those who manipulate or change Sikh practices, spread misinformation, and are disingenuous, the answer is not to go out and assassinate them or endorse physical violence against them, but to rather have an open dialogue and show them the errors of their ways, becuase dialogues are what really change peoples minds, not putting a bullet to their heads, becuase then their is no one to save. If you have to resort to violence in response to someones opinion, then you have already lost, becuase you have shown that you cannot win the battle of ideas, and thus must resort to your primal instincts. The problem with killing someone, is that you dont necessarily kill their ideas, and in some famous cases, killing someone can even act as a catalyst to spread the idea even further. A prime example of this is the Shaheedi of Guru Arjan Dev Ji, which inspired Sikhs to take up arms and fight back against the Mughal tyranny. This doesn't go to say that all people who are assassinated are morally correct, it just proves that killing someone can have the opposite intended effect. When you kill someone, you also take away their ability to later redeem themselves, and if after the fact you find out that they were innocent, you are not able to bring them back. It is only in the most dire of circumstances that physical violence should be used, becuase violence itself doesn't prove who is morally correct, only who is martially superior. Lets also not forget that when you "kill" someone, as per Sikhi, you aren't killing them but rather just their physical vessel. On a deeper philosophical level, according to Sikhi, everything and everyone is just another form of ੴ, which is ਅਕਾਲ ਮੂਰਤਿ (Akaal murat), meaning essentially beyond, above, not subject to ("A" prefix), death, time, end (Kaal), "Image" personified (murat), so in essence, "you" aren't killing anything. The concept of Justice is often confused with Revenge. Revenge is one-sided, and motivated by self-interest, Justice is impartial. Revenge is more "An eye for an eye", while Justice provides a solution to the problem, and tries to resolve it. Revenge is often driven exclusively by emotion, while Justice is usually driven by logic and rationality. Often times people like to bring up the historical example of Guru Gobind Singh Ji ordering Banda Singh Bahadur to fight the Mughal forces. This was not done out of "revenge" for the brutal execution of the Chaar Sahibzaade, the 4 biological "sons" of the Guru (technically all Sikhs are his sons), but rather to deliver the long awaited Justice to the Mughals, to free people from their oppression, take back stolen land, and as a defense mechanism to prevent further conflict and oppression. Sikhi does not advocate the concept of revenge as many claim, however it does fully advocate Justice. "ਪਾਰਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਕੇ ਭਗਤ ਨਿਰਵੈਰ ॥" "The devotees of the Supreme Lord God are beyond hate and vengeance." -Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1145 One might ask, if unjustified violence and forms of revenge are not acceptable in Sikhi, then how should Sikhs deal with serious issues of those who attack Sikhs and Sikhi by manipulating traditions, spreading misinformation, being corrupt, etc? There are a verity of different ways Sikhs can deal with these issues: Education: The most effective, and tired and true method to change people has allways been education. If you disagree with someone, instead of trying to assassinate them, its a better idea to get to understand their point of view, and change it. Check out this article on how to change peoples minds. Ignoring: Oftentimes people just do stupid stuff for attention without having a hidden agenda or malicious intent, if this is the case, then just ignore them and deny them any attention. Check out this article on 10 tips to dealing with Trolls. Denunciations, boycotts, or even excommunication: In the worst case scenarios (aside from using physical violence), denunciations, boycotts, etc are to be used when the individual refuses to change their ways despite every other effort. This has historically been used by the Khalsa Panth and even the Guru himself, it is reffered to as "tankhiya". However, a tankhiya is not the end, and their is allways an option for redemption, but that is up to the Khalsa Panth and Guru to decide. These are just a few of many options, however the main idea is that there is a long list of protocols one must follow before physical violence can even be an option.

Brahmchari ki pratigya. It's the sanest choice in an insane world, lol.

To some Sikhs, it might be okay to make mockery of the religion, bring sudden drastic anti-Gurmat change. You based your whole post on two events and showed that somehow they are the victims. To folks like me, they are the well known perpetrators who should face stiff punishments. Your first paragraph saved me time to read rest of the thread. Know the person and his deeds first before throwing all support.

Her wiki page has inserted Singh, it's possible they are trying to legitimise the relationship. I'm really not concerned about Singh's finding like minded partners, is it really such a big issue?

Anyway, let's look at this situation: Preet Gill's father was an amritdhari singh who was very prominent in the Sikh community. He served as President of the Smethwick Gurdwara for many years, and he did lots of other great sewa in the community, for example, establishing organizations to offer support to youth and to women suffering from abuse. Like their father, Preet Gill's brothers are singhs. Yet, Preet Gill herself cuts her hair and is married to a mona. I wish I could say that I am surprised, but there are numerous examples like this, seemingly everywhere you look. Don't get me wrong. Preet Gill seems to be doing a fine job in parliament. I really respect her work in taking up Sikh issues and especially her efforts to highlight the case of Jaggi Johal and ensure that he is treated fairly. I am sure that she is a much better Sikh than people like me. But the questions remain. If Sikh women like this this become patit, how are we going to preserve Sikhi in future generations? If Sikh women from such a strong Sikh background cut their hair and marry monay, where are singhs supposed to look to find wives? Obviously, Sikh women from clean shaven families will not look twice at a singh, but if women from such strong Sikh background are also looking elsewhere, what will singhs do? Anyway, at least there is a silver lining to this: we now know that Preet Gill's husband is not an amritdhari singh, which means that West London Singh / Legal Singh / Jagsaw Singh will have an easier time sleeping at night, since there is one less case of a rehat-breaking amritdhari/non-amritdhari marriage than he thought there was before reading the latest series of posts in this thread. Instead of marrying an amritdhari singh (or a non-amritdhari singh), Preet Gill married a mona, which is much better.

Are you sure there is a "singh" in his name? I've only seen "Sureash Chopra" written in articles. Anyway, you are right that that is an odd name for a Sikh. "Sureash" sounds like a Hindu name. But from his last name, you can tell that he comes from a Punjabi Khatri background, and the Punjabi Khatri community comprises both Hindus and Sikhs. Hindu and Sikh Khatris often intermarry, and it is not uncommon for Hindu Khatris to go to the Gurdwara and adopt some Sikh practices (and for Sikh Khatris to go to the Mandir and adopt some Hindu practices). It's a very hybrid community, which may explain the odd-sounding name.

Guys name is Suresh Singh Chopra - that is an odd name for a Sikh!!

That isn't her husband. That is her brother Not only is her husband NOT amritdhari, but he's NOT even a singh. This is her with her husband: No offense to Preet Gill/Shergill. She seems to be doing good work in parliament so far. I just wish people would not spread misinformation.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh. That's a really good article on changing people's minds. Shukria veer ji. I'll definitely be digesting that article for a while. I'm not sure much of a dialogue opportunity exists with grooming gangs, but definitley what you've said has great application to many problems the Sangat face and definitely a lot of opportunity for application in life in general.