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it means you change your perspective to not be swayed by their attention-seeking drama baazi , in other words keep your balance . They are the ones with issues , you stick to your guns Guru ji's got your back so why be scared ? SOme are so mayadhari they cannot see the wood for the trees , gurbani or good salaa goes whoosh over their heads e.g. my MIL cannot see how eating maas is berahim , that daya is in choosing other things instead of killing other creatures to satisfy her tastebuds . Chal that's her karam to answer for , I'm not about to change my household's niam -langarsuitable foods to supply her wants . If she's desperate the whole town is full of restaurants. I am still looking after her , doing her sewa but i am not staunching my beliefs for her manmat... left it to Waheguru ji to bless her with sumat because it is clear the good flowing towards her from me isn't enough to change things .

It depends on the kind of individual you're dealing with. Are they capable of change? Or are they too far gone? If it's the latter, then don't waste your time trying to "heal" that person with love, compassion, or understanding. It never works. There's just something broken inside that person that will not rectify itself through the concerted efforts of a third party. The best course of action is to maintain some distance. These types of individuals thrive on attention. They have a tremendous amount of negative energy around them (and God knows what else), and it genuinely does rub off on others who perhaps aren't strong enough to ward off these vibes. If you're unable to burn bridges, then keep such people at arms length. I shouldn't say this, but some people genuinely don't deserve a human janam. They're a waste of a human life.

You haven't mentioned if you'd actually met this girl. If so, how did she come across in person? Did she seem interested then? Happy/smiling/shy or quiet/miserable. If it's all just been over the phone then it's hard to say if she likes you or not. I mean can you like someone you've only ever spoken to over the phone?? Infatuation maybe. If you haven't met her a few times, I'd back right out of that. 7 years is a huge age gap. I'm assuming she's the younger one. Be very considerate with your next move. This is someone's daughter, someone's sister. If you need to call it off, make sure you've tried your best to make it work first. Go meet her if you haven't already. See how you guys get on etc.

nobody makes you happy/sad/anger/calm these are all cooked up yourself in your mind ... by your interpretations and your reactions, so what can you do to change your state of mind ? Did you have an unrealistic view of what married life was going to be , many parents promise their girls that they will have total freedom after marriage to do fashion travelling socialising etc etc? Truth is adults have loads of responsibilities to themselves , their elders, their children, families and friends ...freedom is about doing what's right and being able to enjoy life too . Think about it life doesn't screech to a halt in either case of happiness or sadness the necessary still needs to be done , your husband probably feels as disappointed by the pressures of really being an adult too , maybe talking with him will bring better understanding and cooperation. You BOTH want a good happy life but you have to work together for it . WAHEGURU JI never forsakes anyone IT/SHE/HE is with you always , there is nowhere where Guru ji is not , just ask for help

Everyone has been assigned their respective duties. The secret is to find purpose and contentment in your role. If you are fortunate enough to be in a position that positively affects others, you're better off than those who have a desire to do good but are trapped in the day-to-day khel and grind of life where each day is an individual fight for survival. Don't get too philosophical and lose perspective.

Don't worry about it. Once she's got her feet under the table after marriage, you won't be able to shut her up.

Difficult member of family - Sikh perspective Regarding the title of this thread and the different opinions of the sangat above, I have found some interesting questions and answers on the net related to this thread, where seekers/ disciples ask their spiritual teacher Sri Sri Ravi Shankar : Q: Gurudev, my husband hurts my feelings? How do I change his egoistic nature? A) Why do we try to change people? It is because they are hurting us. And the more we want to change someone because they are hurting us, they are not going to change. If you really want them to change, you have to wish for their welfare – because what they are doing is not good for them. If that is your intention, they will change. Your every prayer will make them see things differently and behave differently. So, it all lies in your intention. Q: How to be positive and strong when people start hurting me? How to love myself in such situations? A)Come on, you forget that you are a diamond! Nobody can cut a diamond or hurt it. Even if a diamond is cut, it shines more. When anyone is trying to hurt you, they are not hurting you, they are only making you shine more. Anyone who brings down your prestige or insults you, they are only bringing up the best qualities that are hidden within you. Remember that every insult is an opportunity for you to exhibit the beauty that you are. Q: Gurudev, how do I forgive those who have abused me emotionally and physically? Sometimes I feel like killing them but even that doesn’t seem enough. A)When you get hurt, it is not only the other person at fault, it is also your ignorance and your naivety. You have not been intelligent enough, or intuitive enough to avoid it, or move out of it. So, take a little bit of the responsibility on yourself as well. If you had been strong and skillful, nobody could have abused you. When you see the situation from this perspective, you will become calmer. I want to ask you, haven’t you caused some pain or hurt to someone else knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly? You have. If others hold on to it for a lifetime and go after you, how would you like it? My dear, if someone has abused you, they have been ignorant. It is because of ignorance and some hurt inside them, that they have caused it to others. See it from a wider lens. A happy person will not come and harm anyone else. If someone is harming others, it is because they are not happy, not centered and they don’t know what you know. Consider them as sick people. If someone is physically sick, do you get angry at them? These people are mentally and emotionally sick, they are spiritually sick, and if you hold a grudge against them, you will also become one among them. You will get sick. For your own sake, you should let go and move on. Q: How can I forgive my mother-in-law who is constantly hurting me? A)Take a look at how your mother behaves. How many times did you have arguments with your own mother, and how many times was she frustrated with you? Haven’t you gotten scolding from your own mother? I don’t think any girl or boy has grown up without being scolded by their mother. When your mom criticizes you, you just fight with her and then you forget it. It doesn’t really touch you. My dear, remember, your mother and mother-in-law are of the same age, the same kind and the same category. She scolds you only 10% of what your mother used to scold you, then why does it hurt you deeply? Just accept her. People who are tough to handle, whether at office or at home, only help you to develop your skills. You should really thank them. They make you more skilfull, more refined, more compassionate and all your good qualities start manifesting in you. If you have knowledge, in tough situations, wisdom manifests and good things manifest out of it. If you lack skills, the worst things come out of it. This one thing we need to master. Master the skill of expressing and communication, and grab this as an opportunity to do that. Q: I am hurt, I don’t want to forgive. A) Forgiving others is not for their sake, it is for your own sake, for your mental health. Know that you have the power to do it and just do it. Open your mind to the vastness of this universe. Wake up and see that seven billion people are on this planet, everyday many are being hurt, everyday many are dying. Whatever big thing you are hanging on to about someone’s action towards you, know that it is your karma that made them act that way with you. If not that person, some other person would have given you the same experience. This is what you need to realize, this is what you need to see. when you get a nasty email, you don’t throw your computer or laptop because you’ve got a nasty email. Whatever email came, the laptop just reflects that. Similarly, people are like laptops. You don’t need to forgive them, you simply need to have a better understanding. If you ask them, sometimes, they also may not know why they behaved that way, why they did acts that hurt you. Look at life from a bigger perspective. That’s why I keep saying, behind every event there is knowledge, behind every person there is love, behind every object there is infinity, just know this, watch this, get this, that’s it. P.S : I hope these questions answers has somehow shed some light on the topic of the present thread. If anyone wants to check the information in my post or wants to know more, here is website address: https://www.artofliving.org/wisdom/theme/how-to-deal-with-hurtful-people

Lmao I remember that one ?

It's like when that guy called up Harjap Bhangal's immigration show with the same situation and he's like "paaji ohh ta meri life f*cked kar gai". It was live as well. Lol

Be patient, stay positive !

You must understand that yours is Not a love marriage. In arranged marriage girls side usually play safe. They talk less in order to avoid any displeasure from groom or his side. Once you meet her face to face things would be different.

She has her mind on someone else. It is hard to just keep listening to someone. She would be wanting to know about life here. She would be having many questions if she was interested in a future with you. She seems to be playing along only to give you the slip later on. Break it if you can. She's talking to someone else behind your back and her heart is with a desi but her parents want a better life for her. Forced marriage - it might work or she might become pakki get her boyfriend here and run off. You are better off without her. Not worth the headache.

Sorry I was thinking out loud. To the OP: Contact Relate for relationship counselling. They will help you work through your issues. https://www.relate.org.uk/

no Missionary command so he can undermine sikhs undercover ...there loads of these bemukhs sneaking around trying to snag aam sikhs by creating doubts against saroopwale.

bro please don't ...

So did Prabhu Yeshu. He got over it by Easter.

Don't know who wrote this.. But Hats off Man O Man! When without money, eats vegetables at home; When has money, eats the same vegetables in a fine restaurant. When without money, rides bicycle; When has money rides the same ‘exercise machine’. When without money walks to earn food When has money, walks to burn fat; Man O Man! Never fails to deceive thyself! When without money, wishes to get married; When has money, wishes to get divorced. When without money, wife becomes secretary; When has money, secretary becomes wife. When without money, acts like a rich man; When has money acts like a poor man. Man O Man! Never can tell the simple truth! Says share market is bad, but keeps speculating; Says money is evil, but keeps accumulating. Says high Positions are lonely, but keeps wanting them. Says gambling & drinking is bad, but keeps indulging; Man O Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means.. Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do. Wait n dont ever give up.. Miracles happen every day.... Rs.20 seems too much to give a beggar but it seems okay when its given as tip at a fancy restaurant. After a whole day of work, Hours at the gym seem alright but helping your Mother out at home seems like a burden. Praying to god for 3 min takes too much time but watching a movie for 3 hours doesn't. Wait a whole year for Valentine's day but we always forget Mother's day. Two poor starving kids sitting on the pavement weren't given even a slice of Bread but a painting of them sold for lakhs of Rupees. Think about It.. Make a change. Coz u can .... Six Easy ways to earn "punya karam" 1) Give a smile or gift to someone. Each time u gift or smile, it will make someone's day.....u gain. 2) Donate a wheelchair to a hospital. Each time sick person uses it, u gain. 3) Participate in building an orphanage, hospital, school or college. Anybody uses it, u gain. 4) Place a water cooler in a public place. Anybody drinks water, u gain. 5) Plant a tree. Whenever a person, animal sits in its shade or eats from it, u gain.

Nice story Pen Jee, well, after reading it , I got an inspiration from it, like, Wahiguru is within us as a hidden Treasure, all we lazy people have to do, is to remove away the heavy stone/boulder or our haume, our ego from within, with the aid of His bhakti, then naturally, we shall become spiritually rich, and get dressed with noble qualities, such as humility, tolerance, forgiveness, and truthfulness. Sat Sree Akal.

Topics which need serious research: I want to do Budha Dal Rehras Sahib but I'm not a budha. Is this against maryada? I was picking fruit and veg in my garden but my pruning scissors were blunt. Are these still jhatka or are they now halal? I work for the Royal Mail and our uniform is red. Have I broken maryada? I was rubbing my eyes and an eyelash fell out. Do I have to go pesh? Did our God drink sukha? Last but not least...is my God better than other Gods? Please contribute. Thanks.

Some of you need to tweak your sarcasm detectors. Or at least obtain one if you haven't done so already. ?

as far as I know he has many streams of making money so no i have no problem with earning it's how he earns , if it brings pointing fingers on sikhi roop or does beadbhi of Guru ji, there are already too many others doing that for someone who knows better to start. As for my comment it was because the sangat of these yoginis seems to encourage the Singhs to do things which are frowned upon , like dragging Guru ji's saroop to places which are not suitable to host Guru ji or to monetize Gurbani kirtan and their roop(before you say it kirtaniyas perform in front of Guru ji and Sangat, not music festivals in concert halls) .3Ho have links with RSS swamis/guru so you can bet there is influence as we have seen in Niddar's case , probably again there will be something brewing will which show itself soon. i where anti ? they just said they recognise their own failing to be impartial because of influences and their need to distance from said influences as it was skewing their output . What they said about Dal UK was even handed in terms of pointing out that backing up certain individuals meant they were trapped by it. Anyway calling on people to not rest on laurels of others' achievements is hardly against anyone it's just asking them to live up to their aspirations.

Sounds like Luke Skywalker when his kumbli floated off into the sunset after he became one with the Force. ?

You know I was joking right? And I think you mean SGPC maryada.

VJKK VJKF The reason that we don't really care about hell or heaven is because they're tasteless for us sikhs. We believe there are many, many heavens and many, many hells but they don't mean anything to us. Our soul's only desire to go and get back to Vaheguru Ji and nothing else matters. We only find comfort there... not in these wonderlands Ji. We need to see/remember that these Bhagats and our Gurus had no ego or haumai and one with Vaheguru Ji. They don't care about getting to this heaven or staying away from this hell because they completely lose their ego and haumai and became one with Vaheguru Ji. At this stage, you don't know or see anything other than Maharaj and so you don't care which heavens or hells there are, let alone acknowledge their exsistence Ji. I'll try and explain this using heaven and hell itself. In this sense, we only want to go the "ultimate heaven" which is sachkhand. That is where Vaheguru Ji truly resides. They're everywhere but all the Bhagats and our Gurus and those who have achieved mukhti all reside here and you could say that this is why they don't care about heaven and hell because sachkhand is infinitely above this. Don't worry about what comes after Ji. Because yes this is all true that "good and bad deeds is rewarded in this life not in any other life or in any other world. The final message of Gurbani is to make best use of the present life since there is no other life after." That's because Guru Arjan Dev Ji tells us "Gobind Milan Ki Euho Tere Baariya". This means that this life is made for one reason, and one reason alone and that is to meet Vaheguru Ji. This is your final chance to go and meet Vaheguru Ji and then you don't have to worry about any next lives or what comes after because you'll be one with Vaheguru Ji. How to get there? In he most plain and simple sense: give your head in the Amrit Sanchar and lose the ego (ofcourse you won't lose it instantly but it will guide you along the way to getting there), work on the 5 Chor everyday all the time, keep doing simran at all times and read paath during Amritvela and your love will increase with Vaheguru Ji. I'm sure this was a terrible answer Ji and I made so so many mistake but I really hope this helped in some sort of way Ji. Maaf karna Ji. Vaheguru Ji.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9v9FPyK70o https://www.youtube.c

There's an aspect of that, definitely, but I don't think it's the overriding reason. It's not even Islamification, but multiculturalism in general; to get away from people like us who seem to be everywhere in these fair isles, lol, or so some whites seem to think. To be fair, British whites have been migrating to Australia for decades, well before the current hysteria around immigration. Maybe they like the warmer climate?

SGPC has been caught making donations to churches in Punjab .... says it all our daswand is being used to cut our roots . Harmandir Sahib has been a haunt of regular christian missionary groups , and they have even assaulted sikhs , the response by task force kick out the sikhs ....

Religious interest that is unfortunately being funnelled into the worship and promotion of Man and the various sects, instead of focusing on the true and formless essence of Sikh teachings. So, I ask myself whether the idea of pious Sikh souls being reborn to advance the panth is true considering how easily mislead and partisan these youngsters are, because the signs of their previous kamayi is virtually non-existent. Where's the innate gyaan, wisdom, and knowledge that comes from having been a spiritual Sikh in a previous lifetime? Saying the right things and playing dress up shouldn't be forms of measurement.

☘Have a Wonderful Day☘ Hard to get someone who will LOVE you. Easy to get someone who will LIKE you. Tough to get someone who will CARE for you. But rare to get someone who will Understand you...... "The Smile on my face doesn't mean my life is perfect. It means I appreciate what I have and what god has blessed me with." You Can’t Tap Your Back For A Job Well Done, You Can’t Hug Yourself For Comfort, You Can’t Cry On Your Shoulders When Tears Fall. That’s Why You Have GOD In Your Life, To Let Him Do Whatever You Can’t.

HEALTHY LONG LIFE THE SECRET TO LIVING WELL AND LONGER IS EAT HALF WALK DOUBLE LAUGH TRIPLE AND LOVE WITHOUT MEASURE.

ਮੈ ਤੈਨੂੰ ਪਸੰਦ ਨਹੀ ਕਰਦਾ

Yeah, I take Gyani Ji's work with a pinch of salt in all honesty. ਸਹਸਬਾਹੁ ਮਧੁ ਕੀਟ ਮਹਿਖਾਸਾ ॥ सहसबाहु मधु कीट महिखासा ॥ Sahasbāhu maḏẖ kīt mahikẖāsā. The Lord killed the thousand-armed Arjun, and the demons Madhu-keetab and Meh-khaasaa. ਹਰਣਾਖਸੁ ਲੇ ਨਖਹੁ ਬਿਧਾਸਾ ॥ हरणाखसु ले नखहु बिधासा ॥ Harṇākẖas le nakẖahu biḏẖāsā. He seized Harnaakhash and tore him apart with his nails. ਦੈਤ ਸੰਘਾਰੇ ਬਿਨੁ ਭਗਤਿ ਅਭਿਆਸਾ ॥੬॥ दैत संघारे बिनु भगति अभिआसा ॥६॥ Ḏaiṯ sangẖāre bin bẖagaṯ abẖi▫āsā. ||6|| The demons were slain; they did not practice devotional worship. ||6|| ਜਰਾਸੰਧਿ ਕਾਲਜਮੁਨ ਸੰਘਾਰੇ ॥ जरासंधि कालजमुन संघारे ॥ Jarāsanḏẖ kālajmun sangẖāre. The demons Jaraa-sandh and Kaal-jamun were destroyed. ਰਕਤਬੀਜੁ ਕਾਲੁਨੇਮੁ ਬਿਦਾਰੇ ॥ रकतबीजु कालुनेमु बिदारे ॥ Rakaṯbīj kālunem biḏāre. Rakat-beej and Kaal-naym were annihilated. ਦੈਤ ਸੰਘਾਰਿ ਸੰਤ ਨਿਸਤਾਰੇ ॥੭॥ दैत संघारि संत निसतारे ॥७॥ Ḏaiṯ sangẖār sanṯ nisṯāre. ||7|| Slaying the demons, the Lord saved His Saints. ||7|| Sounds alot like the second chand of Uggardanti. Bhagauti is the a title of Durga/Ad-Shakti in Shaktism so yeah it is more of a title since it also means "deepest power" or "Primal Power" God if you ever said that to certain people well imagine this to be their reaction. I mean I bet if they ever heard Sarbloh Granth portion where Guru Sahib says the Khalsa's father is Kaal Purkh and Kalika is the mother on whom's lap the Khalsa grows. no but it is important to note that Bhaugati is the mother of the Khalsa, while Bhagauti and Akaal are the same and one they're different aspects of the same God. Akaal is beyond everything and the base of all of existence, he nourishes and resides everywhere. While Bhagauti is just Akaal but in a more active role. I think we misunderstood each other. Firstly in the story of Krishna and Arjun, the whole concept was that the person receiving the message was Arjun (he's meant to be us in this sense), while Krishna and Vishnu are the ones who orchestrate this whole Charitar (lets call it this). In the case of Mata Baala, Mata Ji = us, soul etc and Bhavani and Akaal = Krishna and Vishnu. So basically they would be separate in this instance.

I would add to this>>> but most sikhs wont grasp it unless they have spiritual experience. Major learnig curve in abyaas is awakening to the realms that exist. The granths and gurbani are actually talking about these and not physical earth plane. We just plonkas for thinking that everything is here and in this planet

Excellent analysis and observations bro. Very insighful. Here's my feeble interpretation of it. A few things came to mind when reading this. Firstly what Agni Dev represents in Indic thought. Agni symbolises sacrifice; it was during a battle in which many sacrifices were made did fire appear, and from this fire Maa Baala was born. It's almost as if she was a boon granted to the world and Dharam or in other words "Akaal Sahai" i.e. everlasting support for those in pursuit of righteousness. Through the sacrifice of Dharam Yudh is righteousness propagated and restored, and seeing as Bir Rass/Dharam Yudh is one of the core messages of Dasam Granth it would make sense. As you say, she has no lineage from either side, and this ties in with the purity; She (like Gursikhs/Khalsa and Brahmgyanis), has transcended Paap and Punn, she is representative of Shudh Gyaan, a state which upon reaching one realises their only objective is to merge with Akaal Purkh; becoming a Soul-Bride. In order to attain this state one could use the inner Yajna (again being fire) or inner purification analogy, in which the fire of Brahmgyaan destroys doubt, ignorance, and the panj vikaar. In both a real Yajna and a metephorical one, in order to keep the fire burning, the ingedients must be pure. In this case it would correspond to practising and mastering the five virtues as per Sikhi. Finally, the Nirmal Pursh becomes the ultimate sacrifice in the Maha Yajna that is Kalyug, and as Agni is considered messagener/mediator between man and God, the Aatma is transported back to where it came from. OR as Agni Dev is also a witness in marriage ceremonies, here he becomes the witness of the eternal union of said Nirmal Pursh (Soul-Bride) with his Creator. There is a source which mentions Yajna/Havan in Sikhi, can't remember what it is. And I have no idea if it's metephorical or literal, or both. Many believe it was both but I won't attempt to promote such a possibility here, for obvious reasons. I also remember reading about it in other Indic worship systems once (besides Sanatan Mat) I don't have much to add to this paragraph, I think you've got it spot on especially the part about the 3 guna's. Just a couple of questions. So Kaal Purkh instructs her to wage war against the demons or inner demons as you say, then God assists her to help her destroy the demons too - are these now literal demons (the evil in the world)? If so, is what your referring to Miri-Piri in a nutshell, that one must become Sant before Sipahi in order to avoid the likes of tyranny, unjust actions etc? I'll have a read of it. That's another thing you can thank the Sodhak Committee for removing. If I had to guess I would say before. Maa Baala is referred to as Bhavani later on in the Charitr, and in the Dusht Daman story Chandi comes for help; so in a chronological sense if Mata Ji has manifested as Bhavani you could assume that it's her who goes to Dusht Daman because I believe Chandi, Durga, Bhavani, Bhagauti are used interchangeably. Maybe Suraj Prakash Granth just chooses to look at from a different perspective, or a more relatable one? That's an interesting point about Krishan and Arjun. Maybe the answer can be found in Guru Gobind Singh Ji's commentary on the Gita? I wouldn't be surprised if there was seeing as the main theme of Dasam Granth and the Gita overlap somewhat. Maybe the moral of this part of the story is one of redemption in the context of lakh chaurasi and or Karma, a warning of sorts for the reader? Although it would be highly dependant on Bhavani's status throughout the Charitr. I'm just speculating here. The amount of Gyaan one can gain from just this one part of the Charitr and its veechaar has left me astonished I must say. Time to sit back now and wait for the RSS comments and 'Hindu' accusations to start pouring in. *Leaves laptop to go and reapply Kanku and Chandan*

What happened to accepting all the different levels that Gurbani speaks to certain people here? as I said before. You want your irrational rule to apply to everyone else expect you and your group. If you bothered to read that post carefully you would have seen the quotation marks, and the words 'Dr. Kamalroop Singh' at the bottom. Unless you think I've somehow miraculously morphed into Kamalroop Singh, I suggest you take it up with him. All your post shows is your lack of concentration and that you are intent on having an argument with me. And yes I want my irrational rule to apply to everybody else except me and my group, whoever they are. We are all narrow-minded terrible sinners. You should make a case to have us excommunicated if it bothers you so much. Not that 'me and my group' would give a crap.